February 23, 2010 - 16:06
Feels like ages since I've talked with Greywhistle ... just thought I'd throw that out there.
SO!! My thanks to all my fabulous FB friends and family who dutifully and courteously crossed their fingers, and offerred other lucky signs and efforts ... I got the job I had been hoping for. Orientation is tomorrow and I'll learn about schedules and wages. I'll be starting in the store, and then focussing on the greenhouse when planting comes in full swing. I'm so excited about it! My only worries now are a place to live, getting my things to my new place from the storage site, and how to afford it all. So the stress isn't necessarily less, but the list of worries is shorter. :)
Even Jade is happy for me. He celebrated the occassion by agreeing to pitch in an amount of funds to keep my bank account from bouncing. Yay! I hope he comes through and actually does it. Ideally, he'll have the truck sold before I have to move in 3 weeks, but I don't know that I'm due for another miracle so soon. ;)
So Joyce has been here for about a week now and we haven't killed each other. (Which is amazing because she has a bad habit of timing her visits with my menstral cycle.) Anyway, we've got the house half packed. Getting to the point where we are thinking of what to leave out 'til last, so that I have something to play house with. :)
Did anybody get a chance to see the Canadian Figure Skating Dance Finals? OUTSTANDING!! Always makes me want to learn to skate ... nothing fancy, just some simple things to have fun with so that I'm not going in circles like a drone. Anyway, they were the best that I've seen in years. I normally have little patience for pairs skating, so this was kind of like an a-ha moment.
June is shaping up into a busy month. I've got a trip planned with friends for a birthday bash (shared with Jackie!), and I'll have a competition with the band as well. Will finally be trotted out to show off the twirling that I'm trying to hard to figure out. O.o!
Well, I have to run outside for more wood before my fire completely dies ... will write more soon. Hope everybody is well. Happy and healthy ... Spring is coming for the rest of you soon! ;)
Sweet Dreams!
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Bringing "Sexy" Back
(aka. Welcome Back Aliens! We Missed You!)
February 18, 2010 - 01:06
Yes, another update that's overdue. But really, how can you complain that I don't write often enough when you don't either? Fair's fair, people!
Today's entry may border on the TMI, but ... well, who else can I tell?
I've been getting getting signs about my improved health left, right, and centre lately. Some take a moment or two to really sink in ... like laughing at a show, or movie, and realising that it didn't sound forced, or practised. Yesterday's sign ... that one made my brain do a double take.
This is the gooey part ...
From the tender age of ... egad, was I ever 14? ... I'd always had a very heavy menstral period. Even when I started to take The Pill, which was supposed to help control that, it remained heavy. (Which, of course, flabbergasted the doctor, but just about everything about me flabbergasted that man.) It wasn't until my stress levels took a giant leap that things began to lighten up, but it was still regular and reliable. For the last few years especially, it has been almost non-existent ... until yesterday. For the first time in over a decade, I can pretend to complain about bleeding to death again. To me, this is the ultimate inner sign that I am once again healthy - in mind and body. And not as close to menopause as I was starting to fear. :)
Gooey part over ... :)
Quite a few people attribute my newly relaxed state on the move to the island, and maybe that was beneficial in helping things along, but really, I was on the road to recovery before I got here. If I had stayed, who knows? It might have happened anyway. Slower, maybe ... but it would have happened eventually. Because I wanted it to, if for no other reason.
I'm looking forward to whatever is coming next for me. Something I haven't felt since I was a child. I'm not worrying about my now limited funds. I'm not breaking my nails with anxiety over what my next choice should be. About the What If's in my life. I'm not kicking myself about things I should have done differently. I'm completely in the Now ... for now, anyway. And it's wonderful. Because I'm happy.
If I manage to get a job and find a place, I'll be happy. If I have to call up my fairy god(dess)friend and say I'm coming home, I'll be happy to be there too. I have something to look forward to in both cases ... and how can I be sad about that?
My mother is here for a few days while she helps me pack up her things. She felt guilty about leaving me to do it by myself ... and I think she really wanted to visit.
Well, I'm off to bed, because things like this make me sleepy ... and hey, with restored functions and good sleep, can a slimmer, trimmer me be far off?
Sweet Dreams!
February 18, 2010 - 01:06
Yes, another update that's overdue. But really, how can you complain that I don't write often enough when you don't either? Fair's fair, people!
Today's entry may border on the TMI, but ... well, who else can I tell?
I've been getting getting signs about my improved health left, right, and centre lately. Some take a moment or two to really sink in ... like laughing at a show, or movie, and realising that it didn't sound forced, or practised. Yesterday's sign ... that one made my brain do a double take.
This is the gooey part ...
From the tender age of ... egad, was I ever 14? ... I'd always had a very heavy menstral period. Even when I started to take The Pill, which was supposed to help control that, it remained heavy. (Which, of course, flabbergasted the doctor, but just about everything about me flabbergasted that man.) It wasn't until my stress levels took a giant leap that things began to lighten up, but it was still regular and reliable. For the last few years especially, it has been almost non-existent ... until yesterday. For the first time in over a decade, I can pretend to complain about bleeding to death again. To me, this is the ultimate inner sign that I am once again healthy - in mind and body. And not as close to menopause as I was starting to fear. :)
Gooey part over ... :)
Quite a few people attribute my newly relaxed state on the move to the island, and maybe that was beneficial in helping things along, but really, I was on the road to recovery before I got here. If I had stayed, who knows? It might have happened anyway. Slower, maybe ... but it would have happened eventually. Because I wanted it to, if for no other reason.
I'm looking forward to whatever is coming next for me. Something I haven't felt since I was a child. I'm not worrying about my now limited funds. I'm not breaking my nails with anxiety over what my next choice should be. About the What If's in my life. I'm not kicking myself about things I should have done differently. I'm completely in the Now ... for now, anyway. And it's wonderful. Because I'm happy.
If I manage to get a job and find a place, I'll be happy. If I have to call up my fairy god(dess)friend and say I'm coming home, I'll be happy to be there too. I have something to look forward to in both cases ... and how can I be sad about that?
My mother is here for a few days while she helps me pack up her things. She felt guilty about leaving me to do it by myself ... and I think she really wanted to visit.
Well, I'm off to bed, because things like this make me sleepy ... and hey, with restored functions and good sleep, can a slimmer, trimmer me be far off?
Sweet Dreams!
Thursday, February 04, 2010
My Never-Ending Story
February 3, 2010 - 22:08
I've been staring at the screen for a while now. I know I should write, but I seem to be waiting for something. Not sure what. The right song. The right mood. The best phrasing for my thoughts. Maybe a little bit of everything. Maybe I'm fantasizing about the future too much ... Yeah, we can start there, I guess.
I've been dreading Valentine's Day for the first time in my life. I'm not sure why. I've been alone before. I've been dumped more than once, and still never fallen lower than wishful thinking. But, for the first time, I can't feel anything better than a despairing loneliness. Pain. Maybe in prior years I was able to hang on to something. Have I lost touch with hope? Can't be that ... hope is part of the deepest parts of my soul. Even death can't truly take it from me. It can change it, but not steal it. No, it's not hope that's missing. I think that faith is still there too. A little raggedy, and shaken up a bit, but still there within me. Or maybe the problem is that faith isn't strong enough? Perhaps I have trouble believing in my hopes at the moment.
I'll be fine though, I think. Everything will be alright.
So, for those who haven't noticed, I've recently made a move that surprised even me. I became a tenor drummer for the local Highlander Pipe & Drum Band. I'm looking forward to seeing what I can do with this and am pretty axcited about it all. Somebody alsed me why I'm bothering if I'm leaving ... and I pointed out that if I can get a decent job, then I'll stay. As much as I want to go home, I've got a very good environment here. But whether I stay or go, I'm here for another two months ... and I'm going to live life as it comes instead of turning away opportunities. This is also a new outlook for me. I've been basing decisions on the "What If" theory for most of my life. It's amazing how much a person will limit themselves because of something that may, or may not, happen and regret the things that they missed out on. So, whether I leave or not, I am here now amd I'm going to live my life while I'm here!
If I do come back, well, it will be easier than I expected. I had the most fantastic offer from a couple of friends that have been very concerned for me. (Not that others haven't been, but just wait for it.) After a bit of discussion between themselves, they sent me a note. They will loan me the money to come home, and let me stay at their place until I find a job and save up enough to survive on my own. They were even willing to have one of them come to get me so that I wouldn't be alone for the drive! This offer floored me. Seriously, I couldn't form a single rational thought that I could type back for along while.
This is why hope and faith haven't left me completely.
Had a bit of a harsh morning today too ... Admittedly, it started yesterday. I started to get hives on my legs, but didn't think anything of it. It was light and I figured that it would go away. And it did for a bit, but came back again ... and then I woke up this morning and I was almost one giant hive. Arms, legs, my face was covered, my eyes, ears and inside my throat were all puffy. Even the inside of my nose was itchy. I have no idea why. I haven't done, used, or touched, anything new. I first noticed the hives when I put on a pair of sweat pants that I hadn't worn in a while, but they were clean ... so I'm flabbergasted. Certainly doesn't explain why I reacted so strongly. My eyes are still puffy and on the tender side, but the hives seem to be going away. I'm down to a few red blotches now. I'm saving the next pill for before bed because it doesn't make me sleepy, so much as relaxed. Makes my head feel funny.
Makes me feel glad that I never wanted to try drugs. Ugh.
I have to figure out how to get my comics if I end up staying for a longer period of time. Hmm ... Star and the Shepherd both agree that it's pretty expensive to have things sent to the island, but I wonder if there's a way to make it feasible. I mean, I COULD transfer my file to Elfsar, but I'd really prefer to give my money to the Shepherd. (Wow, has it really been about 10 years since I tagged him with that title? Time flies.)
My mind is wandering more now, so it's time to put this entry to bed ...
Sweet Dreams!
I've been staring at the screen for a while now. I know I should write, but I seem to be waiting for something. Not sure what. The right song. The right mood. The best phrasing for my thoughts. Maybe a little bit of everything. Maybe I'm fantasizing about the future too much ... Yeah, we can start there, I guess.
I've been dreading Valentine's Day for the first time in my life. I'm not sure why. I've been alone before. I've been dumped more than once, and still never fallen lower than wishful thinking. But, for the first time, I can't feel anything better than a despairing loneliness. Pain. Maybe in prior years I was able to hang on to something. Have I lost touch with hope? Can't be that ... hope is part of the deepest parts of my soul. Even death can't truly take it from me. It can change it, but not steal it. No, it's not hope that's missing. I think that faith is still there too. A little raggedy, and shaken up a bit, but still there within me. Or maybe the problem is that faith isn't strong enough? Perhaps I have trouble believing in my hopes at the moment.
I'll be fine though, I think. Everything will be alright.
So, for those who haven't noticed, I've recently made a move that surprised even me. I became a tenor drummer for the local Highlander Pipe & Drum Band. I'm looking forward to seeing what I can do with this and am pretty axcited about it all. Somebody alsed me why I'm bothering if I'm leaving ... and I pointed out that if I can get a decent job, then I'll stay. As much as I want to go home, I've got a very good environment here. But whether I stay or go, I'm here for another two months ... and I'm going to live life as it comes instead of turning away opportunities. This is also a new outlook for me. I've been basing decisions on the "What If" theory for most of my life. It's amazing how much a person will limit themselves because of something that may, or may not, happen and regret the things that they missed out on. So, whether I leave or not, I am here now amd I'm going to live my life while I'm here!
If I do come back, well, it will be easier than I expected. I had the most fantastic offer from a couple of friends that have been very concerned for me. (Not that others haven't been, but just wait for it.) After a bit of discussion between themselves, they sent me a note. They will loan me the money to come home, and let me stay at their place until I find a job and save up enough to survive on my own. They were even willing to have one of them come to get me so that I wouldn't be alone for the drive! This offer floored me. Seriously, I couldn't form a single rational thought that I could type back for along while.
This is why hope and faith haven't left me completely.
Had a bit of a harsh morning today too ... Admittedly, it started yesterday. I started to get hives on my legs, but didn't think anything of it. It was light and I figured that it would go away. And it did for a bit, but came back again ... and then I woke up this morning and I was almost one giant hive. Arms, legs, my face was covered, my eyes, ears and inside my throat were all puffy. Even the inside of my nose was itchy. I have no idea why. I haven't done, used, or touched, anything new. I first noticed the hives when I put on a pair of sweat pants that I hadn't worn in a while, but they were clean ... so I'm flabbergasted. Certainly doesn't explain why I reacted so strongly. My eyes are still puffy and on the tender side, but the hives seem to be going away. I'm down to a few red blotches now. I'm saving the next pill for before bed because it doesn't make me sleepy, so much as relaxed. Makes my head feel funny.
Makes me feel glad that I never wanted to try drugs. Ugh.
I have to figure out how to get my comics if I end up staying for a longer period of time. Hmm ... Star and the Shepherd both agree that it's pretty expensive to have things sent to the island, but I wonder if there's a way to make it feasible. I mean, I COULD transfer my file to Elfsar, but I'd really prefer to give my money to the Shepherd. (Wow, has it really been about 10 years since I tagged him with that title? Time flies.)
My mind is wandering more now, so it's time to put this entry to bed ...
Sweet Dreams!
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