(aka And the Aliens Bowed Their Heads in Silence)
October 20, 2012 - 23:44
Mood: Tired, a little somber, yet determined
Music: My Immortal ~ Evanescence
Thought for the Day: Sometimes, you have to give up on the dream. Sometimes, you have to wake up and see if reality can be even better than the dream you fought so hard for ... and let it create a new dream.
I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
[Chorus:]
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
[Chorus]
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
[Chorus]
I love you. Be well, be safe, be happy ... Good bye.
Sweet Dreams
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Monday, October 08, 2012
Happy Thanksgiving
October 8, 2012 - 14:09
Mood: Depressed, Disappointed
Music: Picard's Flute Solo
Thought for the Day: Making others happy usually means making a sacrifice. Beware those who don't realise that they need you for that happiness to happen.
Happy Thanksgiving, Readers! Hope you are surrounded by good food and people who appreciate you and that you are thankful for both ...
Being depressed is like wearing a thick blanket that been soaked. You know you should take it off, but you've convinced yourself that you're actually warm and comfortable and you don't want to experience the short bit of cold in order to feel true warmth and safety.
A couple of weeks ago, I was utterly depressed. I thought it was just one of my low swings, hormones, etc ... but I was shocked, one day, when I was getting ready for work and I found myself thinking that I didn't want to go to work, that I should just go into the other room and kill myself. I was so shocked by that thought that my joints froze - which was good, because the thought was followed by a pretty strong impulse.
Don't panic. I'm here, aren't I?
This thought frightened me. It didn't feel like mine. I was stressed and unhappy, and, I admit, feeling a bit trapped, but I've never wanted to hurt myself, or others around me, by doing something stupid like that. Suicide is a choice, but it's also a trick. An illusion. And I'm never going to fall for it.
Anyway, I put myself on a "watch" and made myself tell three people. One still checks on me almost daily. One eyeballs me occasionally at work. Took me three days to laugh ... but I got a bit better, and even rallied to make things work. Got out, and tried new things, and accepted help from others.
It was yesterday that slammed me back in the role of feeling lonely and worthless.
Joyce picked me up from the 24 Hour Comic Challenge, and I was looking forward to a good long sleep (8 hours exactly. I rarely sleep longer.) and then waking up to have a Thanksgiving dinner with her. I've been looking forward to this dinner for weeks. I thought Mom was on board with this too, as she even asked me what kind of pie I wanted. There's four boxes of stuffing in the cupboard, for crying out loud! Anyway, she dropped me off because she was going to visit some friends. That was fine - quieter with just the cats and I having a nap alone. But I looked at her as I grabbed my stuff and said, "But you'll be home for supper, right?"
"What?"
"We're having Thanksgiving tonight, aren't we?"
"No. I'm having Thanksgiving tomorrow."
I was crushed. If I'd known she was going to pull this, I would have accepted the offers of dinner I had received and enjoyed myself. Devastated, I went to bed ...
When I woke up, with both cats, as predicted, I thought maybe she'd realised that I'd been hurt. And we were going to have something for supper together after all.
Nope. I checked the kitchen. Cold and dark, the fridge full of Tomorrow's fare. I went into the office. There she was, gaming away ... what does she say first? She remarked on how loud my breathing was while I slept - said she couldn't figure out what the noise was. I didn't want to be told I snored (who does?) so I turned around and made myself something to eat. Mom figured I was "still mad" from this morning (apparently, I'm always "mad") and retreated to her room to hide.
So, I had my Thanksgiving dinner with my loved ones ... Ashley and I had Kraft dinner, and Spot and Simon got a chicken/turkey blend soft food. Ashley made her happy baby noises as she commented on dinner ... with her mouth full as usual. After dinner, I cleaned up, and watched some of the saved episodes on TV. I'm now caught up on NCIS, and NCIS: LA ... Tonight, after work, I'll catch up on the others.
I'm trying to not spend as much time on Facebook ... I think it's a time stealer in the worst way.
I still haven't forgiven Mom. I won't until she apologises sincerely ... but she won't. She doesn't understand. That's what really hurts. She doesn't understand the wrong, or the hurt, she's inflicted. She keeps trying to do her usual trick of Just Not Mentioning It ... but I won't let her. I'm hurt and angry, and I don't want to hear about her escape plans for yet another job application in Scotland.
She's on her own. The lease on the apartment is up in January ... whether I get that new job or not, I'm moving out. January can't come fast enough. Time to live my own life for me and make what I can of it. I will be successful and happy, because that's my goal. And I will not leave my friends out in the cold either ... not even when I move away for my other job. There are people out there who WANT to spend time with me. They've accepted me as I am and want to see more ... Those are the people that will stay in my life for as long as they want to. And I will happily welcome them.
I'm getting out from under this wet blanket. I have what I need ... I can make the rest. I will survive ... no, I will do more than that ... I will Live!
Sweet Dreams!
Mood: Depressed, Disappointed
Music: Picard's Flute Solo
Thought for the Day: Making others happy usually means making a sacrifice. Beware those who don't realise that they need you for that happiness to happen.
Happy Thanksgiving, Readers! Hope you are surrounded by good food and people who appreciate you and that you are thankful for both ...
Being depressed is like wearing a thick blanket that been soaked. You know you should take it off, but you've convinced yourself that you're actually warm and comfortable and you don't want to experience the short bit of cold in order to feel true warmth and safety.
A couple of weeks ago, I was utterly depressed. I thought it was just one of my low swings, hormones, etc ... but I was shocked, one day, when I was getting ready for work and I found myself thinking that I didn't want to go to work, that I should just go into the other room and kill myself. I was so shocked by that thought that my joints froze - which was good, because the thought was followed by a pretty strong impulse.
Don't panic. I'm here, aren't I?
This thought frightened me. It didn't feel like mine. I was stressed and unhappy, and, I admit, feeling a bit trapped, but I've never wanted to hurt myself, or others around me, by doing something stupid like that. Suicide is a choice, but it's also a trick. An illusion. And I'm never going to fall for it.
Anyway, I put myself on a "watch" and made myself tell three people. One still checks on me almost daily. One eyeballs me occasionally at work. Took me three days to laugh ... but I got a bit better, and even rallied to make things work. Got out, and tried new things, and accepted help from others.
It was yesterday that slammed me back in the role of feeling lonely and worthless.
Joyce picked me up from the 24 Hour Comic Challenge, and I was looking forward to a good long sleep (8 hours exactly. I rarely sleep longer.) and then waking up to have a Thanksgiving dinner with her. I've been looking forward to this dinner for weeks. I thought Mom was on board with this too, as she even asked me what kind of pie I wanted. There's four boxes of stuffing in the cupboard, for crying out loud! Anyway, she dropped me off because she was going to visit some friends. That was fine - quieter with just the cats and I having a nap alone. But I looked at her as I grabbed my stuff and said, "But you'll be home for supper, right?"
"What?"
"We're having Thanksgiving tonight, aren't we?"
"No. I'm having Thanksgiving tomorrow."
I was crushed. If I'd known she was going to pull this, I would have accepted the offers of dinner I had received and enjoyed myself. Devastated, I went to bed ...
When I woke up, with both cats, as predicted, I thought maybe she'd realised that I'd been hurt. And we were going to have something for supper together after all.
Nope. I checked the kitchen. Cold and dark, the fridge full of Tomorrow's fare. I went into the office. There she was, gaming away ... what does she say first? She remarked on how loud my breathing was while I slept - said she couldn't figure out what the noise was. I didn't want to be told I snored (who does?) so I turned around and made myself something to eat. Mom figured I was "still mad" from this morning (apparently, I'm always "mad") and retreated to her room to hide.
So, I had my Thanksgiving dinner with my loved ones ... Ashley and I had Kraft dinner, and Spot and Simon got a chicken/turkey blend soft food. Ashley made her happy baby noises as she commented on dinner ... with her mouth full as usual. After dinner, I cleaned up, and watched some of the saved episodes on TV. I'm now caught up on NCIS, and NCIS: LA ... Tonight, after work, I'll catch up on the others.
I'm trying to not spend as much time on Facebook ... I think it's a time stealer in the worst way.
I still haven't forgiven Mom. I won't until she apologises sincerely ... but she won't. She doesn't understand. That's what really hurts. She doesn't understand the wrong, or the hurt, she's inflicted. She keeps trying to do her usual trick of Just Not Mentioning It ... but I won't let her. I'm hurt and angry, and I don't want to hear about her escape plans for yet another job application in Scotland.
She's on her own. The lease on the apartment is up in January ... whether I get that new job or not, I'm moving out. January can't come fast enough. Time to live my own life for me and make what I can of it. I will be successful and happy, because that's my goal. And I will not leave my friends out in the cold either ... not even when I move away for my other job. There are people out there who WANT to spend time with me. They've accepted me as I am and want to see more ... Those are the people that will stay in my life for as long as they want to. And I will happily welcome them.
I'm getting out from under this wet blanket. I have what I need ... I can make the rest. I will survive ... no, I will do more than that ... I will Live!
Sweet Dreams!
Wednesday, August 01, 2012
History's Loop de Loop ... Ugh, Pass the Bucket
August 1, 2012 - 01:49
Mood: A little Tired, but still feeling Strong. Keeping the negatives at bay!!
Music: A Thousand Beautiful Things ~ Annie Lennox
Thought of the Day: Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness ~ Chinese Proverb
I have just hard about a movement to remove the word 'retard' from our vocabularies. I feel that this is ridiculous, and frankly, stupid. Neither the word, nor it's definition is negative in any way. It's the slang that certain people are finding offensive ... not the word.
It is my belief that is it not the word that needs to be lost, but the negative way in which it is sometimes used. (And there are even times when the slang is using it CORRECTLY!) I feel that these people are fighting a battle they cannot win ... You can never un-learn something. The only thing you can change is what you do with that knowledge, and how you pass it on to those you are teaching. We're already battling a shrinking vocabulary in our younger generations, and they want to REMOVE more words?
It seems to me that the "I don't like it, so we must abolish it" frame of tough was the same one that got the Lord's Prayer, and the Oath to the Flag removed from our schools. Now I freely admit that I am not a Christian, but I had no issues with the Lord's prayer in school. I don't understand why the Oath was stopped as well though. Nothing wrong with that either. Why is the answer always destruction? Why do we always seem to feel the answer is the removal of something? Why can't it be growth? Or diversity? Why do we not simply provide the prayers of every culture and allow our children a "moment of contemplation" so that they may practise the prayer of their culture? Or better still, in my mind, the prayer of their choice? Those that choose not to pray can remain respectfully quiet. Is this not a better way to teach our children tolerance, acceptance, and allow them to find their own truths? I once read the phrase, "Do not force your version of 'happy' on others." It is something that has stuck with me over the years. I don't even remember where I read it, but I've tried to practise it. It seems to me that denying others the ability to learn and choose for themselves is somebody else's version of happy ... I don't plan to follow it. I have my own path.
Obstacles should be experiences, not guides. Break free of the maze. Get out of the rat race.
Sweet Dreams!
Mood: A little Tired, but still feeling Strong. Keeping the negatives at bay!!
Music: A Thousand Beautiful Things ~ Annie Lennox
Thought of the Day: Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness ~ Chinese Proverb
I have just hard about a movement to remove the word 'retard' from our vocabularies. I feel that this is ridiculous, and frankly, stupid. Neither the word, nor it's definition is negative in any way. It's the slang that certain people are finding offensive ... not the word.
It is my belief that is it not the word that needs to be lost, but the negative way in which it is sometimes used. (And there are even times when the slang is using it CORRECTLY!) I feel that these people are fighting a battle they cannot win ... You can never un-learn something. The only thing you can change is what you do with that knowledge, and how you pass it on to those you are teaching. We're already battling a shrinking vocabulary in our younger generations, and they want to REMOVE more words?
It seems to me that the "I don't like it, so we must abolish it" frame of tough was the same one that got the Lord's Prayer, and the Oath to the Flag removed from our schools. Now I freely admit that I am not a Christian, but I had no issues with the Lord's prayer in school. I don't understand why the Oath was stopped as well though. Nothing wrong with that either. Why is the answer always destruction? Why do we always seem to feel the answer is the removal of something? Why can't it be growth? Or diversity? Why do we not simply provide the prayers of every culture and allow our children a "moment of contemplation" so that they may practise the prayer of their culture? Or better still, in my mind, the prayer of their choice? Those that choose not to pray can remain respectfully quiet. Is this not a better way to teach our children tolerance, acceptance, and allow them to find their own truths? I once read the phrase, "Do not force your version of 'happy' on others." It is something that has stuck with me over the years. I don't even remember where I read it, but I've tried to practise it. It seems to me that denying others the ability to learn and choose for themselves is somebody else's version of happy ... I don't plan to follow it. I have my own path.
Obstacles should be experiences, not guides. Break free of the maze. Get out of the rat race.
Sweet Dreams!
Saturday, July 14, 2012
I'll Be There By 'n By
July 14, 2012 - 19:16
Mood: A little lethargic. A little frustrated, and restless, but in a lethargic sort of way. :)
Music: Stor, A Stor, A Ghra ~ Altan
Thought of the Day: Who are you when I'm not looking? Who am I when you aren't looking? Which person do you prefer?
So, the plan is to re-kick start my diet and my exercise program on Sunday. No more excuses. Get in the habit now so that, when I move out, it will be easier to adjust. I am seriously considering joining a gym so that I can have access to a trainer that I can ask questions from. I know I'm on the right track, but I feel like I'm missing something in my work outs. Like I'm not doing enough. Ah, well ... money is a bit of an issue right now. My recent holiday put me very close to broke ... temporarily.
Oh, but that holiday was worth it. Maybe not the best timing (my temper is not the best during the 3rd week of the month) but I think that Mom and I managed to relax a bit. Which is good, because she footed most of the bill (which makes me a little ill). Next time we go, we've decided to rent an RV. We had looked at it before we left, but thought it was horribly expensive. Well, hindsight is 20/20, right? Next time, we take an RV ... and spend the money we saved on food.
Damn, but Mom can't seem to stop spending money though. She's such an impulse shopper ... I hope she does better on her own. I know I will.
I'm very much looking forward to getting my own place, but also very frightened of Mom living on her own. Still, I keep telling myself that she needs to toughen up and learn to do things on her own. She used to be a pretty resourceful single Mom ... I think she'll do okay as a single woman. Eventually.
Anyway, we had a good time and got some good pictures ... which brings me back to my need to diet/work out again. My pictures (of me) were fine ... except for this 'spare tire' I kept seeing. Extra shocker came when one of the pipers came up to welcome me and asked if I had lost weight. O.o! HOW CHUBBY WAS I WHEN I LIVED THERE??
Okay ... walk away from the trauma ... walk away ...
Spot has not been handling the heat very well. I think it would easier to handle +30-ish weather if we were in a house with a basement, but when you are several stories up in an apartment with limited direction for opened windows ... ick. *sigh* Well, he's doing better and we can steam clean the carpets again.
I hope I hear from my new job soon. I was terrified that they would e-mail me while I was away. They didn't, but, oh, the wait is horrible. I don;t know if they are sifting through the info still, or if they've talked to everybody, or what's going on. I'm going to try to talk to the gentleman who did my second interview to see if he managed to contact everybody yet, or if he's waiting to hear from some one still. Everybody who told me about getting the call all said the same thing (with out prompting, I might add) "You're going to get that job."
So, I've been psyching myself up for the changes ... and trying to stay calm at the same time. Yeah, I know ... it's a talent.
Well, I have to get up and walk around ... I'm losing feeling in my legs (stupid heat) ... then I'll come back and ground myself with some budget work. (What? I find it calming.) And dream a bit of life in Yellowknife ... which I might add, can't be so bad if it got to 30C the same day Edmonton did. In fact, there are times when it's frequently warmer than Edmonton ... even in winter. I look forward to laughing at my friends from my cozy, new home.
Sweet Dreams!
Mood: A little lethargic. A little frustrated, and restless, but in a lethargic sort of way. :)
Music: Stor, A Stor, A Ghra ~ Altan
Thought of the Day: Who are you when I'm not looking? Who am I when you aren't looking? Which person do you prefer?
So, the plan is to re-kick start my diet and my exercise program on Sunday. No more excuses. Get in the habit now so that, when I move out, it will be easier to adjust. I am seriously considering joining a gym so that I can have access to a trainer that I can ask questions from. I know I'm on the right track, but I feel like I'm missing something in my work outs. Like I'm not doing enough. Ah, well ... money is a bit of an issue right now. My recent holiday put me very close to broke ... temporarily.
Oh, but that holiday was worth it. Maybe not the best timing (my temper is not the best during the 3rd week of the month) but I think that Mom and I managed to relax a bit. Which is good, because she footed most of the bill (which makes me a little ill). Next time we go, we've decided to rent an RV. We had looked at it before we left, but thought it was horribly expensive. Well, hindsight is 20/20, right? Next time, we take an RV ... and spend the money we saved on food.
Damn, but Mom can't seem to stop spending money though. She's such an impulse shopper ... I hope she does better on her own. I know I will.
I'm very much looking forward to getting my own place, but also very frightened of Mom living on her own. Still, I keep telling myself that she needs to toughen up and learn to do things on her own. She used to be a pretty resourceful single Mom ... I think she'll do okay as a single woman. Eventually.
Anyway, we had a good time and got some good pictures ... which brings me back to my need to diet/work out again. My pictures (of me) were fine ... except for this 'spare tire' I kept seeing. Extra shocker came when one of the pipers came up to welcome me and asked if I had lost weight. O.o! HOW CHUBBY WAS I WHEN I LIVED THERE??
Okay ... walk away from the trauma ... walk away ...
Spot has not been handling the heat very well. I think it would easier to handle +30-ish weather if we were in a house with a basement, but when you are several stories up in an apartment with limited direction for opened windows ... ick. *sigh* Well, he's doing better and we can steam clean the carpets again.
I hope I hear from my new job soon. I was terrified that they would e-mail me while I was away. They didn't, but, oh, the wait is horrible. I don;t know if they are sifting through the info still, or if they've talked to everybody, or what's going on. I'm going to try to talk to the gentleman who did my second interview to see if he managed to contact everybody yet, or if he's waiting to hear from some one still. Everybody who told me about getting the call all said the same thing (with out prompting, I might add) "You're going to get that job."
So, I've been psyching myself up for the changes ... and trying to stay calm at the same time. Yeah, I know ... it's a talent.
Well, I have to get up and walk around ... I'm losing feeling in my legs (stupid heat) ... then I'll come back and ground myself with some budget work. (What? I find it calming.) And dream a bit of life in Yellowknife ... which I might add, can't be so bad if it got to 30C the same day Edmonton did. In fact, there are times when it's frequently warmer than Edmonton ... even in winter. I look forward to laughing at my friends from my cozy, new home.
Sweet Dreams!
Friday, June 22, 2012
Didja Miss Me?
June 22, 2012 - 12:37
Mood: Currently Undefine-able - waiting for cough to go away so I can get proper sleep at night
Music: The Call to Dance ~ Leahy
Thought for the Day: They say you can't choose your family. I disagree. And I'm thankful for my choices.
I know, I know ... I'm way late for my birthday update. My apologies to all three of you. Thanks for the kicks, Lavender.
Birthday this year was better than last year, but almost worse too. For one thing, I worked it. Got a card and a gift certificate from the boss (it's signed by most of the staff, but it's from the boss.) Most of them didn't realise it was my birthday until I brought in Cupcakes. Everybody thought it was horrible/funny that I had to buy my own birthday cake, but nobody offered to pitch in a couple dollars either. Good cupcakes though. I got a picture on my phone ... but have no idea how to get it off my phone. LOL!
Speaking of which, I'll be getting a new one soon. Getting an iPhone for free. Well, why the heck not?
Other presents included a movie "date" from Tavis. AVENGERS!!! He's also giving me a DVD player with speakers. (YAY!) Mom bought me a huge frying pan from Princess house. Pretty AND practical. No dinner this year. She forgot to plan for one. Bought a cake though. A number of good wishes on FB, but nowhere near what I had last year. I blame the way FB is set up now.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
The usual report, here in my life. Lots going on, but a lot of nothing at the same time. LOL! So Gemini of me.
I've come towards the end of my RCMP application (I hope). It's been five months so far, and I wonder what else they can want from me. Should be done by next week. They won't tell me what the next step is in the meantime. Or even if there is one. *sigh* Still, I've made it this far, and I'm sure I'll make it all the way.
I wonder if I'll make it to Yellowknife ... they won't give me any info in regards to going there until I reach the point of choosing a post. Jade prefers that I get posted in Edmonton or Red Deer, but he realises that Yellowknife would be a good opportunity for me as well. He just wishes it wasn't so cold! LOL! The snow isn't so bad if you aren't being forced to work in it 8 - 12 hours a day.
PartyLite is still a bit stalled, partially because I've had laryngitis for a while and it's not healing properly, thanks to work. Still no singing for me here ... I want to sing. I'm going to be giving myself some opportunities though ... I'll be at the Exhibition for a few days, and I've asked for Westlock for a couple dates (it's cash & carry though, which I'm not allowed to do, so I wonder how that will go over.) Also signed up for a Hall show in Aug. I'm looking forward to these chances.
I've slightly re-arranged my office. Just a smidgeon. I wanted to do more, but it didn't work out like I originally planned. I need a new desk. Either way, it's given me a chance to tidy things up a bit and get some shredding done too. Feels better. AND I accidentally set it up so that I now have my name on my "door". Whole new appreciation for Les Nessman, right there.
I can't wait to have my own place. I'm sure Mom can't too. Neither of us will say it out loud though. Which is nice. Still, it's there. Now if only she'd stop telling me to sell my things ... Yesterday, she tried to sell my wedding dress. I won't describe the rest of THAT scene.
So, lost my voice completely for a couple days. That was fun. Mom was getting frustrated by Day 2 though. Kept demanding that I whisper, at least. 1) I couldn't do that either, and 2) Worst thing you can do with laryngitis is whisper. Finally got some noises out on Day 3, but not enough to go to work. Which pissed off the boss ... apparently, the e-mail I sent wasn't enough. I should have CALLED. What?
Trying to start a new hobby. I've collected as few nice pieces to start making jewellery. I've designed a few pieces in my stories (okay, they are originals by me) so I have the aptitude. I was curious one day and looking through Tophatter.com and was so inspired by the handmade pieces that I felt I wanted to try some for myself. I'll be picking up some sea glass and pretty stones while I'm on vacation in July. That will be cool. This will also replace the Plastic Canvas that I used to do. You just can't find it in stores anymore. And if you can, it's the tiniest of sections.
So. Vacation! YES! My first in many years. I'll be sharing with Mom, but she needs one too. First week of July. Lynne is going to babysit Spot, Simon, and Ashley for us. (Thanks, love) Tried to get a cousin to do it, because Mom wanted somebody here the whole time, but apparently he's not allowed to talk to us. My aunt needs to grow up. High school was a long time ago for all of us.
Ooh! THUNDER! *looks out window hopefully*
Time to get ready for work ... and spend time with my very needy kitty.
Sweet Dreams!
Mood: Currently Undefine-able - waiting for cough to go away so I can get proper sleep at night
Music: The Call to Dance ~ Leahy
Thought for the Day: They say you can't choose your family. I disagree. And I'm thankful for my choices.
I know, I know ... I'm way late for my birthday update. My apologies to all three of you. Thanks for the kicks, Lavender.
Birthday this year was better than last year, but almost worse too. For one thing, I worked it. Got a card and a gift certificate from the boss (it's signed by most of the staff, but it's from the boss.) Most of them didn't realise it was my birthday until I brought in Cupcakes. Everybody thought it was horrible/funny that I had to buy my own birthday cake, but nobody offered to pitch in a couple dollars either. Good cupcakes though. I got a picture on my phone ... but have no idea how to get it off my phone. LOL!
Speaking of which, I'll be getting a new one soon. Getting an iPhone for free. Well, why the heck not?
Other presents included a movie "date" from Tavis. AVENGERS!!! He's also giving me a DVD player with speakers. (YAY!) Mom bought me a huge frying pan from Princess house. Pretty AND practical. No dinner this year. She forgot to plan for one. Bought a cake though. A number of good wishes on FB, but nowhere near what I had last year. I blame the way FB is set up now.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
The usual report, here in my life. Lots going on, but a lot of nothing at the same time. LOL! So Gemini of me.
I've come towards the end of my RCMP application (I hope). It's been five months so far, and I wonder what else they can want from me. Should be done by next week. They won't tell me what the next step is in the meantime. Or even if there is one. *sigh* Still, I've made it this far, and I'm sure I'll make it all the way.
I wonder if I'll make it to Yellowknife ... they won't give me any info in regards to going there until I reach the point of choosing a post. Jade prefers that I get posted in Edmonton or Red Deer, but he realises that Yellowknife would be a good opportunity for me as well. He just wishes it wasn't so cold! LOL! The snow isn't so bad if you aren't being forced to work in it 8 - 12 hours a day.
PartyLite is still a bit stalled, partially because I've had laryngitis for a while and it's not healing properly, thanks to work. Still no singing for me here ... I want to sing. I'm going to be giving myself some opportunities though ... I'll be at the Exhibition for a few days, and I've asked for Westlock for a couple dates (it's cash & carry though, which I'm not allowed to do, so I wonder how that will go over.) Also signed up for a Hall show in Aug. I'm looking forward to these chances.
I've slightly re-arranged my office. Just a smidgeon. I wanted to do more, but it didn't work out like I originally planned. I need a new desk. Either way, it's given me a chance to tidy things up a bit and get some shredding done too. Feels better. AND I accidentally set it up so that I now have my name on my "door". Whole new appreciation for Les Nessman, right there.
I can't wait to have my own place. I'm sure Mom can't too. Neither of us will say it out loud though. Which is nice. Still, it's there. Now if only she'd stop telling me to sell my things ... Yesterday, she tried to sell my wedding dress. I won't describe the rest of THAT scene.
So, lost my voice completely for a couple days. That was fun. Mom was getting frustrated by Day 2 though. Kept demanding that I whisper, at least. 1) I couldn't do that either, and 2) Worst thing you can do with laryngitis is whisper. Finally got some noises out on Day 3, but not enough to go to work. Which pissed off the boss ... apparently, the e-mail I sent wasn't enough. I should have CALLED. What?
Trying to start a new hobby. I've collected as few nice pieces to start making jewellery. I've designed a few pieces in my stories (okay, they are originals by me) so I have the aptitude. I was curious one day and looking through Tophatter.com and was so inspired by the handmade pieces that I felt I wanted to try some for myself. I'll be picking up some sea glass and pretty stones while I'm on vacation in July. That will be cool. This will also replace the Plastic Canvas that I used to do. You just can't find it in stores anymore. And if you can, it's the tiniest of sections.
So. Vacation! YES! My first in many years. I'll be sharing with Mom, but she needs one too. First week of July. Lynne is going to babysit Spot, Simon, and Ashley for us. (Thanks, love) Tried to get a cousin to do it, because Mom wanted somebody here the whole time, but apparently he's not allowed to talk to us. My aunt needs to grow up. High school was a long time ago for all of us.
Ooh! THUNDER! *looks out window hopefully*
Time to get ready for work ... and spend time with my very needy kitty.
Sweet Dreams!
Friday, May 11, 2012
Take Me Higher
May 11, 2012 - 13:24
Mood: Calm
Music: Deliver Me ~ Sarah Brightman
Thought for the Day: Anybody who has said 'You never know unless you try' has never wondered if jumping off the cliff would be harmful to their health. Common sense, it's there, folks. Use it.
Just a quick note as I have to leave for my Audiology Exam soon. I am totally ecstatic in regards to how far I've made it in my application for that position with the RCMP. I'm really looking forward to it. I've even started making tentative budget plans with specific goals in mind ... For example, first paycheque - same budget, extra goes into the bank, third paycheque - same budget, extra goes into a treadmill, fifth - maybe a vehicle. Get the picture? This job is going to mean so much in the way of Freedom for me.
I'm having some second thoughts about Yellowknife. I'll have to get some more info, but it looks like I'll have to pay my own way up there with no refund. I can't afford that. Well, I could probably get a line of credit or something, and it wouldn't take long to pay it off, but still. *sigh* Yellowknife would be a great move for me in many ways, but Jade is unhappy. Granted, he's probably over-reacting a bit since he's stressed to the max and reaching a breaking point at work, but ... well, we'll have a chance to discuss soon. I hope. I don't see what the difference is between him working out of town or me. He won't ask me to stay though. I've told him that Yellowknife is not yet written in stone. He just can't find the time to deal with it right now. Poor thing. Wish I could hold him and make the world go away for a bit.
Mom finally had her Graduation Ceremony. She almost didn't go, but she's very glad that she did. Victorian Auntie and Uncle came too. They took us out for lunch after as well. Good times.
Time to get ready to go ... :)
Sweet Dreams!
Mood: Calm
Music: Deliver Me ~ Sarah Brightman
Thought for the Day: Anybody who has said 'You never know unless you try' has never wondered if jumping off the cliff would be harmful to their health. Common sense, it's there, folks. Use it.
Just a quick note as I have to leave for my Audiology Exam soon. I am totally ecstatic in regards to how far I've made it in my application for that position with the RCMP. I'm really looking forward to it. I've even started making tentative budget plans with specific goals in mind ... For example, first paycheque - same budget, extra goes into the bank, third paycheque - same budget, extra goes into a treadmill, fifth - maybe a vehicle. Get the picture? This job is going to mean so much in the way of Freedom for me.
I'm having some second thoughts about Yellowknife. I'll have to get some more info, but it looks like I'll have to pay my own way up there with no refund. I can't afford that. Well, I could probably get a line of credit or something, and it wouldn't take long to pay it off, but still. *sigh* Yellowknife would be a great move for me in many ways, but Jade is unhappy. Granted, he's probably over-reacting a bit since he's stressed to the max and reaching a breaking point at work, but ... well, we'll have a chance to discuss soon. I hope. I don't see what the difference is between him working out of town or me. He won't ask me to stay though. I've told him that Yellowknife is not yet written in stone. He just can't find the time to deal with it right now. Poor thing. Wish I could hold him and make the world go away for a bit.
Mom finally had her Graduation Ceremony. She almost didn't go, but she's very glad that she did. Victorian Auntie and Uncle came too. They took us out for lunch after as well. Good times.
Time to get ready to go ... :)
Sweet Dreams!
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Things Are Looking Up!
April 21, 2012 - 13:12
Mood: A little restless; attempting to NOT be nervous
Music: I Wanna Talk About Me - Toby Keith
Thought for the Day: Never offer to give somebody something they deserve. It's not humanly possible to follow through.
Happy Birthday, Jade!
I keep waiting for something to go wrong. Oh, what a month it's been (almost) since I last wrote.
That promise I kept to myself? Still no comment, but I'm not waiting for one any more. Found out I wasn't the only one though. Not that I needed to justify the move to myself, but it's nice to know I'm not alone.
All those possibilities? They're still coming ... and I'm still getting ready. My expectations are so high in regards to them ACTUALLY HAPPENING ... that I keep waiting for something to try and stop me. I have to keep reminding myself that I've already come across obstacles and surpassed them. I'm just not used to this much success on a project. Not giving up, just getting more anxious. Hope this doesn't drag on much longer. :) Finally got the Security application done. Just taking time to go over it and make sure it's totally complete and understandable. there's one section I want to reprint and do over. Also, getting the last of my character witnesses ... didn't think it would be that difficult, but surprisingly, it was. My current schedule doesn't make it easy to socialize outside of work ... thank goodness for old friends who still love me despite my schedule.
My official interview is Monday morning. <-- Hence the nerves. GAH! ... I'm going to rock it though. I've already decided.
Yellowknife. Wow ... It's going to be very different, but I'm not afraid of that. I'm going to make the best of it. I keep telling people that Yellowknife looks like Pender, but with smaller trees. Well, I love Pender and I'm sure I will find something to love about Yellowknife too. There's more to it than the temperature. ;)
So that's all set in my mind as Going To Happen ...
Here's what happened that I didn't expect. On Mar 31, Jade re-proposed. O.o! Here's another shocker ... so far I've received nothing but sincerely happy responses about it. Yup, even Mom. (Well, there was one negative comment from Michael, but that doesn't count because he didn't actually say it to me and hadn't intended me to see it. His opinion means little right now anyway.)
Yes, I'm wearing the same ring. Because I love it and that's the only finger it fits anyway. :) No date set yet, but I'm not worried.
Plans aplenty flitting through my poor brain, but my heart is overflowing with all the good things going on, so my brain won't complain about it.
Now if only this success would reflect in my PartyLite ... I'm working on it though. I'm not giving up. I'm improving a few areas that I've left stagnate too long and I feel good about it. Just waiting for others (buying customers) to notice. :)
Spot is coming to the end of his pills. Last one tomorrow. Not sure if I'm expected to take him back to the vet or not. I'm really surprised that they haven't initiated a follow up. they stop him from throwing up, but he's still "starving". Seriously in your face about food, no matter what I'm eating. And I have no idea what to do about the kidney?/liver? disease they said was just starting. He drinks water like there might now be anymore too. I'm seriously considering taking him to another vet. Somebody closer, at least. I've been looking at the local holistic vet. I'm liking what I see (probably because I can't see the prices.)
Had a great time at Lynne's party recently. She threw a surprise party for her boyfriend's birthday, and I'm not sure how I got on the guest list, but was happy to be there all the same. Met some great people, and reunited with a few others. Including Lynne's boyfriend. :) Nice energy about him.
In other news, Shorty has announced that he's moving with his parents to Port Hardy. Bugger. Lucky bugger, but ... Bugger. Ah, well, my new job will allow for me to visit more often, and now I'll have more reasons to get to Pender and Vancouver Islands.
I'll let everybody know when I get the job officially, and when I'm leaving. I plan on taking a bit of time off before I go so that I have time to see everybody and have a grand going away party.
That's the plan anyway ...
Sweet Dreams!
Mood: A little restless; attempting to NOT be nervous
Music: I Wanna Talk About Me - Toby Keith
Thought for the Day: Never offer to give somebody something they deserve. It's not humanly possible to follow through.
Happy Birthday, Jade!
I keep waiting for something to go wrong. Oh, what a month it's been (almost) since I last wrote.
That promise I kept to myself? Still no comment, but I'm not waiting for one any more. Found out I wasn't the only one though. Not that I needed to justify the move to myself, but it's nice to know I'm not alone.
All those possibilities? They're still coming ... and I'm still getting ready. My expectations are so high in regards to them ACTUALLY HAPPENING ... that I keep waiting for something to try and stop me. I have to keep reminding myself that I've already come across obstacles and surpassed them. I'm just not used to this much success on a project. Not giving up, just getting more anxious. Hope this doesn't drag on much longer. :) Finally got the Security application done. Just taking time to go over it and make sure it's totally complete and understandable. there's one section I want to reprint and do over. Also, getting the last of my character witnesses ... didn't think it would be that difficult, but surprisingly, it was. My current schedule doesn't make it easy to socialize outside of work ... thank goodness for old friends who still love me despite my schedule.
My official interview is Monday morning. <-- Hence the nerves. GAH! ... I'm going to rock it though. I've already decided.
Yellowknife. Wow ... It's going to be very different, but I'm not afraid of that. I'm going to make the best of it. I keep telling people that Yellowknife looks like Pender, but with smaller trees. Well, I love Pender and I'm sure I will find something to love about Yellowknife too. There's more to it than the temperature. ;)
So that's all set in my mind as Going To Happen ...
Here's what happened that I didn't expect. On Mar 31, Jade re-proposed. O.o! Here's another shocker ... so far I've received nothing but sincerely happy responses about it. Yup, even Mom. (Well, there was one negative comment from Michael, but that doesn't count because he didn't actually say it to me and hadn't intended me to see it. His opinion means little right now anyway.)
Yes, I'm wearing the same ring. Because I love it and that's the only finger it fits anyway. :) No date set yet, but I'm not worried.
Plans aplenty flitting through my poor brain, but my heart is overflowing with all the good things going on, so my brain won't complain about it.
Now if only this success would reflect in my PartyLite ... I'm working on it though. I'm not giving up. I'm improving a few areas that I've left stagnate too long and I feel good about it. Just waiting for others (buying customers) to notice. :)
Spot is coming to the end of his pills. Last one tomorrow. Not sure if I'm expected to take him back to the vet or not. I'm really surprised that they haven't initiated a follow up. they stop him from throwing up, but he's still "starving". Seriously in your face about food, no matter what I'm eating. And I have no idea what to do about the kidney?/liver? disease they said was just starting. He drinks water like there might now be anymore too. I'm seriously considering taking him to another vet. Somebody closer, at least. I've been looking at the local holistic vet. I'm liking what I see (probably because I can't see the prices.)
Had a great time at Lynne's party recently. She threw a surprise party for her boyfriend's birthday, and I'm not sure how I got on the guest list, but was happy to be there all the same. Met some great people, and reunited with a few others. Including Lynne's boyfriend. :) Nice energy about him.
In other news, Shorty has announced that he's moving with his parents to Port Hardy. Bugger. Lucky bugger, but ... Bugger. Ah, well, my new job will allow for me to visit more often, and now I'll have more reasons to get to Pender and Vancouver Islands.
I'll let everybody know when I get the job officially, and when I'm leaving. I plan on taking a bit of time off before I go so that I have time to see everybody and have a grand going away party.
That's the plan anyway ...
Sweet Dreams!
Sunday, March 25, 2012
You Can Take the Gypsy Out of Pender ...
(aka the Aliens Have Offered to Relocate Me ... Maybe)
March 25, 2012
So ... lots of changes coming up. Lots of possibilities. I'm not waiting for them to happen though, I'm getting ready for them. Saving cash, making lists (what I need to buy, what I need to settle, who I need to inform, etc), going through my things and dumping trash I no longer need. Need to get a shredder ... since mine never came back from my brother's. (Among other things) I will definitely be going with a lot less than when I attempted my other moves to another province. At least this time will be by choice. I'll be going to something positive. New career, new life ... I wonder what else is waiting for me.
I'm working hard to improve my PartyLite before I go. The extra cash won't go amiss and I'll have the time to take it more seriously. I would definitely love to be a Leader before I get there, so I'll be focusing on that. I have two Trade shows coming up, and I'm looking for Parties. I'm even phoning ... a little. Volunteers are welcome!
Kept a promise to myself. Nobody has noticed, but that's okay. I didn't do it to get noticed, I did it to get happier.
I seem to be s l o w l y getting more day shifts. There will be two this week. Coincidence or conspiracy?
No test results yet. Going into week 7, so I'll be checking the mail box three times a day now. :) Just in case.
Been getting worried about how well Mom takes care of herself, but I also think that she needs to be on her own so that she can learn, and re-discover, things in her life that she used t do well and that she could enjoy again. Sometimes you have to be on your own to find these things and to make your own changes and to heal. That, and I'm tired of being her mother and trying to live with her depression. Living on her own will help her get things done ... because if she shuts down, then she'll just have more work to clean up after. Trust me, its a motivator.
Well, time to go to work ... make a few more dollars. Tomorrow I have a day shift and then I go to Hunger Games. By myself. And I'm perfectly fine with that.
Sweet Dreams!
March 25, 2012
So ... lots of changes coming up. Lots of possibilities. I'm not waiting for them to happen though, I'm getting ready for them. Saving cash, making lists (what I need to buy, what I need to settle, who I need to inform, etc), going through my things and dumping trash I no longer need. Need to get a shredder ... since mine never came back from my brother's. (Among other things) I will definitely be going with a lot less than when I attempted my other moves to another province. At least this time will be by choice. I'll be going to something positive. New career, new life ... I wonder what else is waiting for me.
I'm working hard to improve my PartyLite before I go. The extra cash won't go amiss and I'll have the time to take it more seriously. I would definitely love to be a Leader before I get there, so I'll be focusing on that. I have two Trade shows coming up, and I'm looking for Parties. I'm even phoning ... a little. Volunteers are welcome!
Kept a promise to myself. Nobody has noticed, but that's okay. I didn't do it to get noticed, I did it to get happier.
I seem to be s l o w l y getting more day shifts. There will be two this week. Coincidence or conspiracy?
No test results yet. Going into week 7, so I'll be checking the mail box three times a day now. :) Just in case.
Been getting worried about how well Mom takes care of herself, but I also think that she needs to be on her own so that she can learn, and re-discover, things in her life that she used t do well and that she could enjoy again. Sometimes you have to be on your own to find these things and to make your own changes and to heal. That, and I'm tired of being her mother and trying to live with her depression. Living on her own will help her get things done ... because if she shuts down, then she'll just have more work to clean up after. Trust me, its a motivator.
Well, time to go to work ... make a few more dollars. Tomorrow I have a day shift and then I go to Hunger Games. By myself. And I'm perfectly fine with that.
Sweet Dreams!
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Call For My Pumpkin, Please ... I'm Outa Here
February 28, 2012 - 00:00
Mood: Tense, irritable, and hurt
Music: The Bonny Swans ~ Loreena McKennit
Thought of the Day: Keep your eye on the target. It may feel like you are doing much and accomplishing little, but keep your eye on the target and you will succeed in hitting it.
Today, I allowed for the idea that somebody I considered a friend had turned to the "dark side". It was a stupid circumstance that could have been so easily fixed ... all he had to do was introduce me to the girl. She could have seen that I was nothing to worry about. I wasn't that kind of friend. Instead, he either didn't explain anything, or did a pitiful job of it, and she freaked on him with extreme jealousy. I know she did, because he said so. He asked me to change ... to pretend to be somebody I'm not. He said the same to another girl on his FB who agreed with me and gave the same reply. We're not changing for somebody we haven't met and flips immature fits just because her "man" has lady friends. Friends who have known him for over 20 years, and, therefore, have the right to sound like they know a guy. He even messaged me privately and asked me to stop acting like that. He was apparently worried about upsetting his girl, and her family, because they might see the comments and get the wrong idea.
Excuse me? Oh, no ... if you feel that threatened by such ignorant people, then you are in the wrong place. Of course, it also sounds like you are projecting that ignorance on them due to your own fear. Who am I to say. I've never met these people. But then you get ignorant yourself ... and tell me that you will do anything to keep your girl from getting upset. I insist that I will not change who I am for such a stupid reason, but I reduce the number of comments I make. For a friend, I do what I can ... but when you allow your girl to slag me in her comments ... and support her in those comments ... well ... Fuck you, Jo. You are not my friend. That's a line that I will not allow you to cross twice. Good bye.
For those of you who aren't sure, I blocked them both. Vile, contemptible, loathsome meat bag ... once upon a time, he thanked me for saving his life. Sounds like I didn't do him any favours.
Meanwhile, back at headquarters ...
Today, I arranged for the final pieces on the chess board to be placed to ensure my victory. I had been racing around like crazy gathering what I needed to prove my High School Equivalency, so that I could pursue my career with the RCMP. Now, it's just a waiting game ... to see if it was enough. There are three possible placements, although only two are hiring at this time. I'm actually excited about the idea of working on a new frontier ... I so want this job!!
This weekend I sponsored somebody into my Team in PartyLite as well. It's the incentive that I need to push through my own barriers and step into Leadership and be successful there too. I'm felling really good about it all.
Other than that, it's busier than ever at the call centre. We added another city to our "family", but we lost some key players. Not many supervisors left - especially ones who can close. I'm seriously worried about the quality of those being left behind, and thinking that I really don't want to be there to deal with them. I'm tired of the attitude I keep getting dished.
Spot says it's time for bed.
Sweet Dreams ...
Mood: Tense, irritable, and hurt
Music: The Bonny Swans ~ Loreena McKennit
Thought of the Day: Keep your eye on the target. It may feel like you are doing much and accomplishing little, but keep your eye on the target and you will succeed in hitting it.
Today, I allowed for the idea that somebody I considered a friend had turned to the "dark side". It was a stupid circumstance that could have been so easily fixed ... all he had to do was introduce me to the girl. She could have seen that I was nothing to worry about. I wasn't that kind of friend. Instead, he either didn't explain anything, or did a pitiful job of it, and she freaked on him with extreme jealousy. I know she did, because he said so. He asked me to change ... to pretend to be somebody I'm not. He said the same to another girl on his FB who agreed with me and gave the same reply. We're not changing for somebody we haven't met and flips immature fits just because her "man" has lady friends. Friends who have known him for over 20 years, and, therefore, have the right to sound like they know a guy. He even messaged me privately and asked me to stop acting like that. He was apparently worried about upsetting his girl, and her family, because they might see the comments and get the wrong idea.
Excuse me? Oh, no ... if you feel that threatened by such ignorant people, then you are in the wrong place. Of course, it also sounds like you are projecting that ignorance on them due to your own fear. Who am I to say. I've never met these people. But then you get ignorant yourself ... and tell me that you will do anything to keep your girl from getting upset. I insist that I will not change who I am for such a stupid reason, but I reduce the number of comments I make. For a friend, I do what I can ... but when you allow your girl to slag me in her comments ... and support her in those comments ... well ... Fuck you, Jo. You are not my friend. That's a line that I will not allow you to cross twice. Good bye.
For those of you who aren't sure, I blocked them both. Vile, contemptible, loathsome meat bag ... once upon a time, he thanked me for saving his life. Sounds like I didn't do him any favours.
Meanwhile, back at headquarters ...
Today, I arranged for the final pieces on the chess board to be placed to ensure my victory. I had been racing around like crazy gathering what I needed to prove my High School Equivalency, so that I could pursue my career with the RCMP. Now, it's just a waiting game ... to see if it was enough. There are three possible placements, although only two are hiring at this time. I'm actually excited about the idea of working on a new frontier ... I so want this job!!
This weekend I sponsored somebody into my Team in PartyLite as well. It's the incentive that I need to push through my own barriers and step into Leadership and be successful there too. I'm felling really good about it all.
Other than that, it's busier than ever at the call centre. We added another city to our "family", but we lost some key players. Not many supervisors left - especially ones who can close. I'm seriously worried about the quality of those being left behind, and thinking that I really don't want to be there to deal with them. I'm tired of the attitude I keep getting dished.
Spot says it's time for bed.
Sweet Dreams ...
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Actions vs Words
February 14, 2012 - 13:46
Mood: Tense, maybe a bit pensive. Maybe.
Music: I Need a Hero ~ Bonnie Tyler
Thought For the Day: They say that the Road to Hell is paved with good intentions. If I believed in Hell, then I would have to say that those good intentions start with "May you get everything that you deserve." A thoughtless blessing is ever a curse in disguise.
Happy Valentine's Day! May you know only joy.
For those of you who haven't heard, I've been on a journey that will hopefully lead to a very good career for me. I'm in the process of applying for a civilian position with the RCMP. It's been very interesting so far. The Career presentation was eye opening and somewhat sobering, but I held no doubt. I could do this job. I faltered a bit when I went for the Typing certificate ... but I went back two days later and triumphed. I officially type 43 wpm with a 1% error rate. Mom says that's something to be proud of. Now I'm trying to get a letter from where I finished high school stating that I have High School Equivalency. I have until March 1 to supply the RCMP with it, but I'm really hoping that it doesn't take that long. :)
Some questions that have been popping up in my head as I get closer to acceptance. First of all, when does it start?? Will I be able to keep my job at BP's (will I want to?) at a PT level, or at least be able to offer enough notice as to be acceptable? WHERE is the training? I know that there are three call centres. Edmonton, Red Deer, and in the NWT. Red Deer isn't hiring right now, but may in the Fall. Not wanting to limit myself, I offered to work at any of the three. NWT would be an interesting post, but it is also a three to five year commitment. If I get a position outside of Edmonton, where will I stay? Am I responsible for finding my own place? Would Spot be happy? And Ashley? (Personally, I think they'll both be happy as long as I'm there, but they are 12 hour shifts ...)
I am very excited about this new start. It's the kind that I can handle. Starting wage during training is ... worth it.
My exercise routine continues smoothly. I'm almost back to where I was before. For a while there I thought I had gone horribly wrong, but then I discovered that I need to make sure that I don;t take my B6's until after I work out. Apparently, this vitamin speeds up your heart rate. Made staying at a certain level more difficult. Tomorrow, I think I'm going to push myself a bit. Just for fun. Because that's what my work outs are turning into ... fun. The weight loss, or inch loss, is not a concern, really. Just a great side effect. Mostly, I just love the way it makes me feel. I used to love Phys Ed. I love to get my heart pumping and the muscles moving. I love how I feel afterwards. Still, I'm watching my diet. Mostly out of habit. Why waste a good work out?
Speaking of which, Jackie didn't appreciate my concerns from my last entry. And everything else is my fault too. :)
Get stuffed, girl. I didn't dump on your project. I applaud it. I just don't approve of the method. Starving yourself is never the answer. I've researched it too ... it horrifies anybody I talk to about it. Especially your diet's way of beating a plateau. Madness. As for your Journal, all I complained about was false advertising. You don't SAY anything in it. I stopped reading at Day 5. I found it both alarming and boring. BUT it's your choice. You have the right to make that choice. Have at 'er.
As for my schedule, you're exaggerating. I rarely work weekdays. That's your gig. If you want to know my schedule, then ASK. I had tried to invite you to do things with me previously. You were always busy. The last time I tried to ask you out to dinner, you claimed that you already had plans, but when the day arrived, you were complaining on FB about being bored and having nothing to do. I asked you what happened to the event you had planned. You said that you didn't actually have anything planned that day, you just didn't know what you wanted to do. Thanks for slapping my face. So I stopped asking. That's fine. Nobody else has a problem asking when I have time off. So I mentioned that we don't spend time together any more. So what? That's part of life. As for my phrasing, I stick by it. Trust me, it's been noticed by others.
Well, it's time to provide heart shaped pizzas. If you need one, order EARLY. Last year we ran out too soon.
May sunshine chase away your shadows, but never burn your nose. ;)
Sweet Dreams!
PS. Lavender ... you still aren't replying to my e-mails. We should look into that tomorrow. ;)
Mood: Tense, maybe a bit pensive. Maybe.
Music: I Need a Hero ~ Bonnie Tyler
Thought For the Day: They say that the Road to Hell is paved with good intentions. If I believed in Hell, then I would have to say that those good intentions start with "May you get everything that you deserve." A thoughtless blessing is ever a curse in disguise.
Happy Valentine's Day! May you know only joy.
For those of you who haven't heard, I've been on a journey that will hopefully lead to a very good career for me. I'm in the process of applying for a civilian position with the RCMP. It's been very interesting so far. The Career presentation was eye opening and somewhat sobering, but I held no doubt. I could do this job. I faltered a bit when I went for the Typing certificate ... but I went back two days later and triumphed. I officially type 43 wpm with a 1% error rate. Mom says that's something to be proud of. Now I'm trying to get a letter from where I finished high school stating that I have High School Equivalency. I have until March 1 to supply the RCMP with it, but I'm really hoping that it doesn't take that long. :)
Some questions that have been popping up in my head as I get closer to acceptance. First of all, when does it start?? Will I be able to keep my job at BP's (will I want to?) at a PT level, or at least be able to offer enough notice as to be acceptable? WHERE is the training? I know that there are three call centres. Edmonton, Red Deer, and in the NWT. Red Deer isn't hiring right now, but may in the Fall. Not wanting to limit myself, I offered to work at any of the three. NWT would be an interesting post, but it is also a three to five year commitment. If I get a position outside of Edmonton, where will I stay? Am I responsible for finding my own place? Would Spot be happy? And Ashley? (Personally, I think they'll both be happy as long as I'm there, but they are 12 hour shifts ...)
I am very excited about this new start. It's the kind that I can handle. Starting wage during training is ... worth it.
My exercise routine continues smoothly. I'm almost back to where I was before. For a while there I thought I had gone horribly wrong, but then I discovered that I need to make sure that I don;t take my B6's until after I work out. Apparently, this vitamin speeds up your heart rate. Made staying at a certain level more difficult. Tomorrow, I think I'm going to push myself a bit. Just for fun. Because that's what my work outs are turning into ... fun. The weight loss, or inch loss, is not a concern, really. Just a great side effect. Mostly, I just love the way it makes me feel. I used to love Phys Ed. I love to get my heart pumping and the muscles moving. I love how I feel afterwards. Still, I'm watching my diet. Mostly out of habit. Why waste a good work out?
Speaking of which, Jackie didn't appreciate my concerns from my last entry. And everything else is my fault too. :)
"You work evenings weekdays and weekends I don't know your schedule I told you that, other then that, you never say "Hey I have this night off lets go to a show'. I work weekdays Monday to Friday and have weekends off, all planning has to be done around your schedule. You are just as bad for not communicating. And thanks for dumping on my project. Hope you are wrong, since I've seen the results" |
Get stuffed, girl. I didn't dump on your project. I applaud it. I just don't approve of the method. Starving yourself is never the answer. I've researched it too ... it horrifies anybody I talk to about it. Especially your diet's way of beating a plateau. Madness. As for your Journal, all I complained about was false advertising. You don't SAY anything in it. I stopped reading at Day 5. I found it both alarming and boring. BUT it's your choice. You have the right to make that choice. Have at 'er.
As for my schedule, you're exaggerating. I rarely work weekdays. That's your gig. If you want to know my schedule, then ASK. I had tried to invite you to do things with me previously. You were always busy. The last time I tried to ask you out to dinner, you claimed that you already had plans, but when the day arrived, you were complaining on FB about being bored and having nothing to do. I asked you what happened to the event you had planned. You said that you didn't actually have anything planned that day, you just didn't know what you wanted to do. Thanks for slapping my face. So I stopped asking. That's fine. Nobody else has a problem asking when I have time off. So I mentioned that we don't spend time together any more. So what? That's part of life. As for my phrasing, I stick by it. Trust me, it's been noticed by others.
Well, it's time to provide heart shaped pizzas. If you need one, order EARLY. Last year we ran out too soon.
May sunshine chase away your shadows, but never burn your nose. ;)
Sweet Dreams!
PS. Lavender ... you still aren't replying to my e-mails. We should look into that tomorrow. ;)
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
The Dragons Are Here ... And They Have Ketchup.
January 25, 2012 - 12:20
Mood: Invigorated
Music: Raise a Little Hell ~ Trooper
Thought of the Day: "Nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight. Gotta kick at the darkness until it bleeds daylight." ~ Barenaked Ladies; Lovers in a Dangerous Time
It's a little late, but ...
GONG HEI FAT CHOI!! 恭 喜 發 財
Best wishes for everybody in Year of the Dragon!
The highlight of my day (that day) was when I went to pick up Mom at her new job. I had to find her office, and along the way I passed an elderly Chinese lady who was being fed some jello (I think). Her face was blank. As Mom and I went to pass her again on the way out, Mom noticed a nurse (supervisor?) and asked me to say the phrase again. (I'd greeted her with it.) The nurse was delighted and asked if I could speak Chinese (I DIDN'T tell her that there's no such thing ... I'm so proud.) I told her that I only really knew the phrase for Happy New Year. Apparently, it didn't go un-noticed by the elderly lady. She kinda ... flickered. Mom asked me to say it to her. I did ... :) Instant animation came to her face. Her eyes lit up, and when she smiled she was very pretty. When I waved good bye, she waved back, smiling. Apparently, she doesn't speak English, and rarely (if ever) gets visitors. Nobody seemed to know that it was Chinese New Year ... I wonder if I was the only person who offered her good wishes.
I think I'll teach Mom to say Ni Hao (hello). :)
13:29
Okay, had breakfast, settled down Ashley (who blames Spot every time she gets scolded.), and cleaned the kitty litter. What's left? I need to take the cans/bottles in, buy cat food and then load the car with donation items. I need to sweep/wash floors, vacuum, clean the bird cage, change the sheets on the bed and make posters for the Trade Show. somewhere in there I need to organise the storage unit a bit better. Tonight, I have a career presentation ... Day off? I laugh at the idea. It's a myth, I tell you. A myth! Tomorrow, I hope to have my PartyLite organised. Apparently, Mom is offended that the closet doors aren't closed. (No, I don't understand that either, and frankly, she can't explain it either.) I also want to figure out what I'll need for the Trade Show.
THE TRADE SHOW! Ah, I haven't written about that yet, have I? It was kind of spur of the moment. A couple years ago, a friend and I were discussing networking and having an Open House with a few people with home-based businesses. It never happened, but his is an idea that has stayed with me as a good one. My sales need a bit of a boost and I am working on my fear of outbound calls. I know that I need to expand my inner circle before I dry up my current supporters. I also need the extra funds, and the space that my current stock takes up! :) So ... I made decision, and sent word out to people that I knew had businesses dependent on home parties. I had a good response, so I set out to find a place to hold this show. You wouldn't believe how hard it is to get a Hall to call you back. One finally did, and she was so excited to have my business that she offered to give me the entire Hall for Free. O.o! This offer was beyond fantastic. She said she's adjust the calendar so that I could have the date that I wanted and would suggest more businesses to join me.
I was so excited that I began to seriously recruit and posted on FB. Then she wrote and tipped a bomb. Instead of her re-arranging the calendar, why don't I just pick a day when the Hall is vacant. ... What? ... She was the one who was so excited that she offered to do this. I never asked her. Oookay, whatever. Still getting the Hall for free ... The only day free is the Saturday of the April long weekend. This is either going to be less than ideal, or a stroke of lucky genius. Yes, it's Easter Weekend ... but it's too early for mass camping trips or planting yet, and many people will remain home to go to church. Kids are off school ... Well, we'll see. I believe that a new catalogue will be out then as well, so I'm going to do my best and stay positive and see what the Universe provides me in response.
What weird weather we are having ... It was grey this morning when I went down to the gym. We had a flash blizzard, and then things lightened up. Now I've got bright sunshine streaming into the office. WTD?
After a few weeks of making hints of change, Jackie has finally revealed the master plan in her 'blog. A 'blog that she says holds naked truth, but I haven't seen any yet. She barely writes anything in it. Certainly nothing naked. She said that a best friend made a hurtful comment, but never says what it was, or anything else. How it made her feel, or how it got the ball rolling, and led to this decision, or to this diet. Call it what it is. A Diet Journal, or a Log. "Naked truth", forsooth! Anyway, she's on one of those crazy diet plans. Will she lose weight? On 500 calories a day? Sure. Will she keep it off? I doubt it. She doesn't say anything about exercise, and you can't maintain this kind of diet long term and stay healthy. She called it a detox. Okay, fine. I know people who use them, but I also know that they constantly have to do them. Personally, the idea makes me shudder, because in the wrong hands, these crash diets are dangerous. There was nothing wrong with her that a proper routine of exercise and nutrition won't help. She doesn't need a diet, she needs a lifestyle change. But that's just my opinion. This is her choice. Her life. Which she has made sure has very little to do with mine.
Which brings me to my own diet. After falling off the wagon due to illness and depression (not helped by Mom giving up and promptly buying me junk food), I am back on track. I haven't taken any measurements, because I feel that being able to look in the mirror and liking what I see is more important. I should measure though. Should probably have a goal too. Later. Right now I'm enjoying my workouts (which have almost reached the point where I dropped off.) and I feel really good. Am I counting calories? Heck, no. I'm watching my portions, keeping an eye on sodium levels, and avoiding processed foods as best I can. I've increased my fruits and vegies. (which is benefiting Ashley as well, because in the morning we share an apple or something. It's our "us" time.)
By the by, I'm still nagging Mom about her nutrition too. She's looking better for it, even if she doesn't think so.
Well, I'd better get back to my list of chores. They won't do themselves. Makes me happy too. <3
Sweet Dreams!
PS. Laaaveeeendeeeerrr ... Hee hee! WHY AREN"T YOU ANSWERING YOUR E-MAILS? :P
Mood: Invigorated
Music: Raise a Little Hell ~ Trooper
Thought of the Day: "Nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight. Gotta kick at the darkness until it bleeds daylight." ~ Barenaked Ladies; Lovers in a Dangerous Time
It's a little late, but ...
GONG HEI FAT CHOI!! 恭 喜 發 財
Best wishes for everybody in Year of the Dragon!
The highlight of my day (that day) was when I went to pick up Mom at her new job. I had to find her office, and along the way I passed an elderly Chinese lady who was being fed some jello (I think). Her face was blank. As Mom and I went to pass her again on the way out, Mom noticed a nurse (supervisor?) and asked me to say the phrase again. (I'd greeted her with it.) The nurse was delighted and asked if I could speak Chinese (I DIDN'T tell her that there's no such thing ... I'm so proud.) I told her that I only really knew the phrase for Happy New Year. Apparently, it didn't go un-noticed by the elderly lady. She kinda ... flickered. Mom asked me to say it to her. I did ... :) Instant animation came to her face. Her eyes lit up, and when she smiled she was very pretty. When I waved good bye, she waved back, smiling. Apparently, she doesn't speak English, and rarely (if ever) gets visitors. Nobody seemed to know that it was Chinese New Year ... I wonder if I was the only person who offered her good wishes.
I think I'll teach Mom to say Ni Hao (hello). :)
13:29
Okay, had breakfast, settled down Ashley (who blames Spot every time she gets scolded.), and cleaned the kitty litter. What's left? I need to take the cans/bottles in, buy cat food and then load the car with donation items. I need to sweep/wash floors, vacuum, clean the bird cage, change the sheets on the bed and make posters for the Trade Show. somewhere in there I need to organise the storage unit a bit better. Tonight, I have a career presentation ... Day off? I laugh at the idea. It's a myth, I tell you. A myth! Tomorrow, I hope to have my PartyLite organised. Apparently, Mom is offended that the closet doors aren't closed. (No, I don't understand that either, and frankly, she can't explain it either.) I also want to figure out what I'll need for the Trade Show.
THE TRADE SHOW! Ah, I haven't written about that yet, have I? It was kind of spur of the moment. A couple years ago, a friend and I were discussing networking and having an Open House with a few people with home-based businesses. It never happened, but his is an idea that has stayed with me as a good one. My sales need a bit of a boost and I am working on my fear of outbound calls. I know that I need to expand my inner circle before I dry up my current supporters. I also need the extra funds, and the space that my current stock takes up! :) So ... I made decision, and sent word out to people that I knew had businesses dependent on home parties. I had a good response, so I set out to find a place to hold this show. You wouldn't believe how hard it is to get a Hall to call you back. One finally did, and she was so excited to have my business that she offered to give me the entire Hall for Free. O.o! This offer was beyond fantastic. She said she's adjust the calendar so that I could have the date that I wanted and would suggest more businesses to join me.
I was so excited that I began to seriously recruit and posted on FB. Then she wrote and tipped a bomb. Instead of her re-arranging the calendar, why don't I just pick a day when the Hall is vacant. ... What? ... She was the one who was so excited that she offered to do this. I never asked her. Oookay, whatever. Still getting the Hall for free ... The only day free is the Saturday of the April long weekend. This is either going to be less than ideal, or a stroke of lucky genius. Yes, it's Easter Weekend ... but it's too early for mass camping trips or planting yet, and many people will remain home to go to church. Kids are off school ... Well, we'll see. I believe that a new catalogue will be out then as well, so I'm going to do my best and stay positive and see what the Universe provides me in response.
What weird weather we are having ... It was grey this morning when I went down to the gym. We had a flash blizzard, and then things lightened up. Now I've got bright sunshine streaming into the office. WTD?
After a few weeks of making hints of change, Jackie has finally revealed the master plan in her 'blog. A 'blog that she says holds naked truth, but I haven't seen any yet. She barely writes anything in it. Certainly nothing naked. She said that a best friend made a hurtful comment, but never says what it was, or anything else. How it made her feel, or how it got the ball rolling, and led to this decision, or to this diet. Call it what it is. A Diet Journal, or a Log. "Naked truth", forsooth! Anyway, she's on one of those crazy diet plans. Will she lose weight? On 500 calories a day? Sure. Will she keep it off? I doubt it. She doesn't say anything about exercise, and you can't maintain this kind of diet long term and stay healthy. She called it a detox. Okay, fine. I know people who use them, but I also know that they constantly have to do them. Personally, the idea makes me shudder, because in the wrong hands, these crash diets are dangerous. There was nothing wrong with her that a proper routine of exercise and nutrition won't help. She doesn't need a diet, she needs a lifestyle change. But that's just my opinion. This is her choice. Her life. Which she has made sure has very little to do with mine.
Which brings me to my own diet. After falling off the wagon due to illness and depression (not helped by Mom giving up and promptly buying me junk food), I am back on track. I haven't taken any measurements, because I feel that being able to look in the mirror and liking what I see is more important. I should measure though. Should probably have a goal too. Later. Right now I'm enjoying my workouts (which have almost reached the point where I dropped off.) and I feel really good. Am I counting calories? Heck, no. I'm watching my portions, keeping an eye on sodium levels, and avoiding processed foods as best I can. I've increased my fruits and vegies. (which is benefiting Ashley as well, because in the morning we share an apple or something. It's our "us" time.)
By the by, I'm still nagging Mom about her nutrition too. She's looking better for it, even if she doesn't think so.
Well, I'd better get back to my list of chores. They won't do themselves. Makes me happy too. <3
Sweet Dreams!
PS. Laaaveeeendeeeerrr ... Hee hee! WHY AREN"T YOU ANSWERING YOUR E-MAILS? :P
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Stepping Forward
January 18, 2012 - 01:54
Mood: Pleasant, relaxed
Music: Spock vs Q audio track
Thought of the Day: "Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time. ~ Thomas Edison
I sit here all ready to type away ... and I can't think of anything to say. LOL!
My poor car was even more frozen tonight. I really should have taken it in to be winterized. Everything freezes ... the brakes, the power steering ... even the wheels feel like I'm driving on blocks of ice. I hope I remember to call in the morning for an appointment ... it's probably due for an oil change anyway. I wonder if I can afford to get wipers that actually wipe ...
Tonight, we light a candle for Beej's companion. Her beloved beagle has been sent into the next life with sad, but loving hearts. While I cannot say the usual things to my friend in this time, I know it was the only option and I'm proud of my sister for being able to make the unselfish decision to let her friend go. She'll be back ...
I finally did it ... I sent a text message to a wrong person. Luckily, it wasn't anything racy, but it went to a co-worker. And I have the uncomfortable feeling that she hasn't deleted the thing. Gah!
I still haven't heard back from the Hall in regards to my mini-trade show, so I'll be calling around to others to see if I can get a similar, or better, price. Talk about bad business practises.
I am determined to make some calls for PartyLite tomorrow. I'm not sure what I'm going to say, but I'm sure I've been e-mailed a script at some point to give me ideas. I will conquer my fear of outbound calls.
Sweet Dreams!
Mood: Pleasant, relaxed
Music: Spock vs Q audio track
Thought of the Day: "Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time. ~ Thomas Edison
I sit here all ready to type away ... and I can't think of anything to say. LOL!
My poor car was even more frozen tonight. I really should have taken it in to be winterized. Everything freezes ... the brakes, the power steering ... even the wheels feel like I'm driving on blocks of ice. I hope I remember to call in the morning for an appointment ... it's probably due for an oil change anyway. I wonder if I can afford to get wipers that actually wipe ...
Tonight, we light a candle for Beej's companion. Her beloved beagle has been sent into the next life with sad, but loving hearts. While I cannot say the usual things to my friend in this time, I know it was the only option and I'm proud of my sister for being able to make the unselfish decision to let her friend go. She'll be back ...
I finally did it ... I sent a text message to a wrong person. Luckily, it wasn't anything racy, but it went to a co-worker. And I have the uncomfortable feeling that she hasn't deleted the thing. Gah!
I still haven't heard back from the Hall in regards to my mini-trade show, so I'll be calling around to others to see if I can get a similar, or better, price. Talk about bad business practises.
I am determined to make some calls for PartyLite tomorrow. I'm not sure what I'm going to say, but I'm sure I've been e-mailed a script at some point to give me ideas. I will conquer my fear of outbound calls.
Sweet Dreams!
Monday, January 16, 2012
It's a New Day
January 16, 2012 - 12:47
Mood: Calm; Mentally Energised!
Music: Firedance ~ Bill Whelan (aka the Spanish section of Riverdance. Yeah, I know, but it's peppy!)
Thought of the Day: When things aren't going your way, you have two basic options ... you can pout, rant, and remain blocked ... or you can change the rules and find a new path. Good things don't happen to people who sit and wait for it.
I woke up this morning in complete bliss, despite waking late enough that I missed my workout. Mom's first day at her new job began today. While I feel bad that she is bussing to work, she refuses to take the car away from me. She's certain I'm going to get mugged coming home. Personally, I think that if I'm going to get mugged, it will be for my snow pants, more than my purse, but that's her fear, and I don't mind. I asked her to contact an old friend, who has a sixth sense for finding deals, to find me a car of my own, but I don't think she did. Ah, well, I'm still saving. It's a good feeling.
Meanwhile, I'm fully enjoying my personal time again. Bliss, bliss, bliss ... I can't describe the freedom I feel. Most people would notice the emptiness with a usual person missing ... Me? I just notice the quiet. To me, every person brings about a piece of noise with them. It surrounds them, and moves with them. The level of noise varies, but it's always there. Add that to having peoples emotions shoved up my nose, and I wonder, some days, if becoming a hermit is still possible in this Age. Maybe this makes me odd, but that's the best way that I can describe it. I have no idea how I sound/feel to other people, but I hope it's a quiet, happy sound when they need it most.
Okay, so I stepped back to look at my life. Yes, again. And I see that I've let things slip. Yes, again. BUT ... I haven't been depressed. this time it was partially laziness, and an inability to fight against the tide. It's very difficult, for example, to diet and be healthy when the person you live with has little to no concern in the matter. I've decided to focus on a single area for now, so that Mom gets the idea. (Not that she's allowed to shop alone, but it happens.) Anyway, the focus is sodium reduction. If it's above 500 mg per serving, put it back on the shelf. If it's something you REALLY want? (And those items at M&M Meat shop are tempting ...) then think about what you plan on serving it with and if it can balance out. I try to keep my sodium intake PER MEAL under 1000 mg. This sounds like a lot, but most articles are focused on per serving ... not per meal, so I've had to figure things out for myself. If I notice that I've been keeping at a certain lower level with consistency, then I'll lower the goal. Right now, my meals are about 800 - 1000. Granted, this is a lunch and dinner rule. Breakfast/second breakfast are MUCH lower. (I have a smoothie when I wake up - only 150 cal and 90 sodium, and them have a small breakfast after, like cereal, while my metabolism is still quickened.) And, of course, I drink lots of water while I work out and while I'm at work. That's a rule I almost never break. Water only at work.
When Mom shops, she tries to buy me treats that I just don't eat any more. Which she ends up eating them. Not to mention the poor choices she makes when she tries to help. Like the popcorn she bought because it was cheap ... Ugh. Triple calories and salt! *shudder*
Treadmill has been going very well, but I seem to be struggling a bit with the power crunchies. Maybe I should lower the weight. I'm barely managing 35 on weight 6. That's not too horrible considering that I used to do 40 with little effort, but it still bothers me. We'll see. I'll keep at it for a bit more. If it doesn't get easier, then I will drop to 5 for a short time and work back up.
Okay, I'm sure this is boring.
I had intended to start my phoning today, to make sure my customers had heard about the new sale that started today, but I've managed to put it off too late again. So I will get some cleaning done before work and promise myself to get it done tomorrow. The house is cleanest (to me) when Mom is gone because I always feel motivated when I'm home alone.
Winter has finally arrived as of Saturday ... fashionably late, I suppose. Of course, there have been grumblings and ranting from others because most people see Winter as inconvenient, or extra work. I don't view Winter this way, and am generally disgusted that others appear to be blind to the necessity of the cold season.
Ashley still loves her cage, although she demands to come out a bit more often. Spot has been doing better in some ways, and still not getting better in others. I'm trying to watch him carefully, but with my dental appointments finally taking place, I can't afford the vet bills. Even with the insurance. Still, if things get bad instead of just worrisome, I'll have to take him in. I'm a bit put out with his current vet office though. We'll see.
Trying to get a Mini-trade show together, but I haven't received an answer form the the chosen Hall. I sent them an e-mail 5 days ago. This morning I called. If I don't get an answer by tomorrow morning, I will be calling another Hall. This is silly. Don't they want the business?
Well, time to get the floors done ... Have a good day!
Sweet Dreams!
Mood: Calm; Mentally Energised!
Music: Firedance ~ Bill Whelan (aka the Spanish section of Riverdance. Yeah, I know, but it's peppy!)
Thought of the Day: When things aren't going your way, you have two basic options ... you can pout, rant, and remain blocked ... or you can change the rules and find a new path. Good things don't happen to people who sit and wait for it.
I woke up this morning in complete bliss, despite waking late enough that I missed my workout. Mom's first day at her new job began today. While I feel bad that she is bussing to work, she refuses to take the car away from me. She's certain I'm going to get mugged coming home. Personally, I think that if I'm going to get mugged, it will be for my snow pants, more than my purse, but that's her fear, and I don't mind. I asked her to contact an old friend, who has a sixth sense for finding deals, to find me a car of my own, but I don't think she did. Ah, well, I'm still saving. It's a good feeling.
Meanwhile, I'm fully enjoying my personal time again. Bliss, bliss, bliss ... I can't describe the freedom I feel. Most people would notice the emptiness with a usual person missing ... Me? I just notice the quiet. To me, every person brings about a piece of noise with them. It surrounds them, and moves with them. The level of noise varies, but it's always there. Add that to having peoples emotions shoved up my nose, and I wonder, some days, if becoming a hermit is still possible in this Age. Maybe this makes me odd, but that's the best way that I can describe it. I have no idea how I sound/feel to other people, but I hope it's a quiet, happy sound when they need it most.
Okay, so I stepped back to look at my life. Yes, again. And I see that I've let things slip. Yes, again. BUT ... I haven't been depressed. this time it was partially laziness, and an inability to fight against the tide. It's very difficult, for example, to diet and be healthy when the person you live with has little to no concern in the matter. I've decided to focus on a single area for now, so that Mom gets the idea. (Not that she's allowed to shop alone, but it happens.) Anyway, the focus is sodium reduction. If it's above 500 mg per serving, put it back on the shelf. If it's something you REALLY want? (And those items at M&M Meat shop are tempting ...) then think about what you plan on serving it with and if it can balance out. I try to keep my sodium intake PER MEAL under 1000 mg. This sounds like a lot, but most articles are focused on per serving ... not per meal, so I've had to figure things out for myself. If I notice that I've been keeping at a certain lower level with consistency, then I'll lower the goal. Right now, my meals are about 800 - 1000. Granted, this is a lunch and dinner rule. Breakfast/second breakfast are MUCH lower. (I have a smoothie when I wake up - only 150 cal and 90 sodium, and them have a small breakfast after, like cereal, while my metabolism is still quickened.) And, of course, I drink lots of water while I work out and while I'm at work. That's a rule I almost never break. Water only at work.
When Mom shops, she tries to buy me treats that I just don't eat any more. Which she ends up eating them. Not to mention the poor choices she makes when she tries to help. Like the popcorn she bought because it was cheap ... Ugh. Triple calories and salt! *shudder*
Treadmill has been going very well, but I seem to be struggling a bit with the power crunchies. Maybe I should lower the weight. I'm barely managing 35 on weight 6. That's not too horrible considering that I used to do 40 with little effort, but it still bothers me. We'll see. I'll keep at it for a bit more. If it doesn't get easier, then I will drop to 5 for a short time and work back up.
Okay, I'm sure this is boring.
I had intended to start my phoning today, to make sure my customers had heard about the new sale that started today, but I've managed to put it off too late again. So I will get some cleaning done before work and promise myself to get it done tomorrow. The house is cleanest (to me) when Mom is gone because I always feel motivated when I'm home alone.
Winter has finally arrived as of Saturday ... fashionably late, I suppose. Of course, there have been grumblings and ranting from others because most people see Winter as inconvenient, or extra work. I don't view Winter this way, and am generally disgusted that others appear to be blind to the necessity of the cold season.
Ashley still loves her cage, although she demands to come out a bit more often. Spot has been doing better in some ways, and still not getting better in others. I'm trying to watch him carefully, but with my dental appointments finally taking place, I can't afford the vet bills. Even with the insurance. Still, if things get bad instead of just worrisome, I'll have to take him in. I'm a bit put out with his current vet office though. We'll see.
Trying to get a Mini-trade show together, but I haven't received an answer form the the chosen Hall. I sent them an e-mail 5 days ago. This morning I called. If I don't get an answer by tomorrow morning, I will be calling another Hall. This is silly. Don't they want the business?
Well, time to get the floors done ... Have a good day!
Sweet Dreams!
Thursday, January 05, 2012
Bringing Sexy Back ... with Hot Pink.
January 4, 2012 - 23:43
Mood: Amused
Music: When the Children Cry ~ White Lion
Thought for the Day: Life is an unfolding process of becoming. ~ Tim Connor
Day three of the new regime, and I happily accomplished my second day back to my work out schedule. (I missed the second day due to an errand, but kinda made it up helping Mom to move heavy shelves.) I am happy to report that my heart rate is co-operating very well. Day 1 had it in the Cardio range for the majority of the program, instead of in Weight Loss. Day 2 (today) had it in the Cardio area only briefly, and not until the second "hill". I'm very proud of myself. Now, if only I could find ear buds that STAYED in my ears. I have skull candy, but I swear my ear wax gets slick as my temp rises. Even if I don't bounce, or sing, they wiggle out. Maybe I should try the smaller fittings?
Didn't accomplish as much as I had hoped today. Mom wasn't feeling well, so she took a nap and I went out to a movie with Shorty. I will NEVER go to that theatre downtown again. While it does have good prices (only $8 to get in ... about $2 cheaper than my small popcorn and med pop) the seats are uncomfortable and I had a sore back for the last half of the movie. But the worse part was when I went to pay for parking. Not only did they charge me $17.50 for the approx 3 hrs I was there, but they would only accept payment with Visa or Mastercard. No debit.What kind of crap is that? From now on I will go to Silvercity ... at least they are honest about gouging your pockets! I was also unhappy they weren't a Cineplex any more ... I couldn't use my gift card. :(
Still a good movie. Yes, I went to see Sherlock 2 again. Shorty said he hadn't seen it. I think I disappointed him when I wouldn't go for a bite after, but I honestly wasn't expecting to spend money for my movie and I was out of cash. Sorry, Shorty. And thank you, so much, for covering the parking when my card told them off. You rock. (Glad I drove you home.)
Signed up for a Boudoir Photoshoot. It'll be a bit pricey, but I think it'll be worth it. I'm going to get my sexy caught on "film". Might even give it as a Valentine's gift ... if I think of somebody to give it to. <3 It could happen.
Mom wanted to know why I'd wanted to do that. I said I wanted to feel sexy. It was the best answer I could give her. I thought about it a bit more, because it WAS an impulsive sign up, and I came up with this. 1) I want to see the sexy that others say they can see. I want to see it though somebody else's eyes, and maybe I will believe it with a stronger conviction. Otherwise, I can believe it all I want, but deep down I'm waiting for somebody to disagree. 2) Law of Attraction ... not only will it bring sexy things into my life, it might bring more attraction. LOL! (It might be worth the hives I'll get from the make up) Besides, it's good incentive to keep up with my work outs! LOL!
By the by, Mom's response was to make sure that the "negatives" didn't end up going to somebody else. I said if Playboy wants them they can have them ... and they can pay me for them.
Sweet Dreams!
Mood: Amused
Music: When the Children Cry ~ White Lion
Thought for the Day: Life is an unfolding process of becoming. ~ Tim Connor
Day three of the new regime, and I happily accomplished my second day back to my work out schedule. (I missed the second day due to an errand, but kinda made it up helping Mom to move heavy shelves.) I am happy to report that my heart rate is co-operating very well. Day 1 had it in the Cardio range for the majority of the program, instead of in Weight Loss. Day 2 (today) had it in the Cardio area only briefly, and not until the second "hill". I'm very proud of myself. Now, if only I could find ear buds that STAYED in my ears. I have skull candy, but I swear my ear wax gets slick as my temp rises. Even if I don't bounce, or sing, they wiggle out. Maybe I should try the smaller fittings?
Didn't accomplish as much as I had hoped today. Mom wasn't feeling well, so she took a nap and I went out to a movie with Shorty. I will NEVER go to that theatre downtown again. While it does have good prices (only $8 to get in ... about $2 cheaper than my small popcorn and med pop) the seats are uncomfortable and I had a sore back for the last half of the movie. But the worse part was when I went to pay for parking. Not only did they charge me $17.50 for the approx 3 hrs I was there, but they would only accept payment with Visa or Mastercard. No debit.What kind of crap is that? From now on I will go to Silvercity ... at least they are honest about gouging your pockets! I was also unhappy they weren't a Cineplex any more ... I couldn't use my gift card. :(
Still a good movie. Yes, I went to see Sherlock 2 again. Shorty said he hadn't seen it. I think I disappointed him when I wouldn't go for a bite after, but I honestly wasn't expecting to spend money for my movie and I was out of cash. Sorry, Shorty. And thank you, so much, for covering the parking when my card told them off. You rock. (Glad I drove you home.)
Signed up for a Boudoir Photoshoot. It'll be a bit pricey, but I think it'll be worth it. I'm going to get my sexy caught on "film". Might even give it as a Valentine's gift ... if I think of somebody to give it to. <3 It could happen.
Mom wanted to know why I'd wanted to do that. I said I wanted to feel sexy. It was the best answer I could give her. I thought about it a bit more, because it WAS an impulsive sign up, and I came up with this. 1) I want to see the sexy that others say they can see. I want to see it though somebody else's eyes, and maybe I will believe it with a stronger conviction. Otherwise, I can believe it all I want, but deep down I'm waiting for somebody to disagree. 2) Law of Attraction ... not only will it bring sexy things into my life, it might bring more attraction. LOL! (It might be worth the hives I'll get from the make up) Besides, it's good incentive to keep up with my work outs! LOL!
By the by, Mom's response was to make sure that the "negatives" didn't end up going to somebody else. I said if Playboy wants them they can have them ... and they can pay me for them.
Sweet Dreams!
Wednesday, January 04, 2012
Aliens Want to Know Why I Always Seem Angry ... Silly Aliens ...
(aka Crisis Averted. NEXT!!)
January 4, 2012 - 01:59
Mood: In a zone. Enter at own risk.
Music: Broken Wings ~ Mister Mister
Thought of the Day: "Snowflakes are one of nature's most fragile things, but just look what they do when they stick together." ~ Unknown
Okay ... so common sense has prevailed. So has guilt, but I can't claim that as being part of the plan. That was her own doing. Anyway, Mom has made the decision (Final Answer) to NOT move to BC at this time. She agrees that she needs to save up money ... and allow me time to do the same so that she doesn't leave me in the lurch. She is also offended that I'm waiting for her to change her mind again. (I won't stop waiting until the new lease is signed.) That's what you get for being impulsive all the time!
Next ... I discovered that among FB's need to re-arrange and upgrade things, they've also created a new Messages file for items from Non-Friends, etc. What a cache of messages I have discovered. One was from a person who asked for dirt on Jade, asked for "my side" of the story, and my opinion as to whether or not she should invest any more of her time with him. Apparently, it would make her feel better if she knew he had also treated me badly. Oh, and he may have cheated on me with her a long time ago.
WHAT?
How do these people find me? We don't have any friends in common on FB. Seriously, I spent a long time looking just to be sure, because it sounds like somebody has been talking about me behind my back. After gathering what info I could (and it was little) I finally wrote her back. I'm considering blocking her too, but first things first. I decided what angle I was going respond with and let it fly with minimal info. I hope she reads it and chokes.
Here: You be the judge ...
Hi (Lea). You don't know me from adam, but we've had mutual friends over the years. I really hope that I am not crossing the line or opening up a can of worms here. I've known (Jade) a long time. Sometimes he's great and other times he's well.. an ass. Anyway, without stepping over boundaries, or opening old wounds...I'm interested to hear your side of the story of your relationship with him...before I invest any more time. Feel free to ignore this too if you don't feel comfortable responding. It'd be comforting to know that he's treated other women in his life poorly...I'm not sure what to believe from him anymore but I think in the past he may have dated both of us at the same time without us knowing about it. I could be wrong about that. That's just an assumption.
Take care.
And my eventual response ...
I apologise for taking so long to respond. FB's refurbs tucked away a number of messages on me and I've only just discovered the cache.
If you are interested in hearing my side of the story, then I must find myself curious as to who has already told you theirs. I cannot find any mutual friends with you on FB. I feel that this places me at a double disadvantage.
As for investing more time, I am somewhat astounded by your request to hear more about my boyfriend so that you can decide about dating him. That's gutsy. I'm honestly not sure if I should admire you, or punch you in the face.
As for him dating two of us (or more) at once, you wouldn't believe the number of messages I've received in the last 20 years that tried to say the same thing. They all had one thing in common ... no proof. Most don't even try to offer any. According to him, you are just a friend that he once tried to date back in the 90's, but it didn't work. I'm willing to believe that.
My side of the story? He's not available. Thanks for writing.
If she's telling the truth, he's now in a world of trouble. I'm not sorry about that, by the by. I am seriously tired of getting notes like this. I am NOT the only ex that Jade has. I'm just the one that lasted longest. He has other exes on his FB list. I've seen them. None of them are getting these letters. Who the dickens contacts their boyfriend's ex and asks if he is worth keeping? This woman is supposedly an Executive with Addictions and Mental Health (according to FB) ... doesn't that mean she's a big girl now and can pull up her own panties?
Dear Sluts, Bitches, and Those Who Must Not Be Named; (I swear, this is the one time I would like to use the c-word.)
I don't care if you thought you were in love with Jade once, or think it now. I don't care if he banged you in the bathroom of a bar, or if you are one of his weepy one, or two, night stand conquests. I don't care if you think you own him. Do you really think I want to hear that he PROBABLY cheated on me with you? If you really think this is a problem that requires my attention (especially WELL AFTER we've separated) then be prepared to provide honest proof. Also be prepared to get checked for an STD, darlings. He's got one.
STOP CONTACTING ME! Did you read the part where I DON'T CARE?
Have a nice day!
Seriously. Do I need to start wearing hats made of tin foil? Get a life, people!
Meanwhile, back at headquarters ...
Mom and I started moving furniture in the living room today. It's an experiment. A pox on rectangular living rooms. Looking good so far though ... just have to move some big shelves and the TV (which I will carefully rewire so that the DVD player works!!) and Voila! The new floor plan! Not exactly Party friendly, but I'm sure it's workable in case of just such an emergency. ;)
Ah, yes, that reminds me of another fight. somebody wrote me in regards to my advertising on a page in FB. Apparently, I'm too pushy and not giving anybody else a chance. LOL! No, not really. And instead of writing me nasty letters, all they had to do was introduce themselves ('cause I hadn't noticed any consultants). I would be happy to share my advertising. That's how it works in PartyLite. Anyway, I won't get into it, needless to say, she declared that she was going to be speaking to her Unit Leader about me. Pfft. Okay. So, I contacted mine ... who promptly told me not to worry about it. I wasn't doing anything wrong.
It's been a busy couple of days for me. On a lighter side, I did manage to take myself out to a movie last night. Sherlock Holmes 2 is exquisite. I plan on going again tomorrow, with a friend this time, and seeing it again. Should I wear a mask in hopes of avoiding more letters?
Sweet Dreams!
January 4, 2012 - 01:59
Mood: In a zone. Enter at own risk.
Music: Broken Wings ~ Mister Mister
Thought of the Day: "Snowflakes are one of nature's most fragile things, but just look what they do when they stick together." ~ Unknown
Okay ... so common sense has prevailed. So has guilt, but I can't claim that as being part of the plan. That was her own doing. Anyway, Mom has made the decision (Final Answer) to NOT move to BC at this time. She agrees that she needs to save up money ... and allow me time to do the same so that she doesn't leave me in the lurch. She is also offended that I'm waiting for her to change her mind again. (I won't stop waiting until the new lease is signed.) That's what you get for being impulsive all the time!
Next ... I discovered that among FB's need to re-arrange and upgrade things, they've also created a new Messages file for items from Non-Friends, etc. What a cache of messages I have discovered. One was from a person who asked for dirt on Jade, asked for "my side" of the story, and my opinion as to whether or not she should invest any more of her time with him. Apparently, it would make her feel better if she knew he had also treated me badly. Oh, and he may have cheated on me with her a long time ago.
WHAT?
How do these people find me? We don't have any friends in common on FB. Seriously, I spent a long time looking just to be sure, because it sounds like somebody has been talking about me behind my back. After gathering what info I could (and it was little) I finally wrote her back. I'm considering blocking her too, but first things first. I decided what angle I was going respond with and let it fly with minimal info. I hope she reads it and chokes.
Here: You be the judge ...
Hi (Lea). You don't know me from adam, but we've had mutual friends over the years. I really hope that I am not crossing the line or opening up a can of worms here. I've known (Jade) a long time. Sometimes he's great and other times he's well.. an ass. Anyway, without stepping over boundaries, or opening old wounds...I'm interested to hear your side of the story of your relationship with him...before I invest any more time. Feel free to ignore this too if you don't feel comfortable responding. It'd be comforting to know that he's treated other women in his life poorly...I'm not sure what to believe from him anymore but I think in the past he may have dated both of us at the same time without us knowing about it. I could be wrong about that. That's just an assumption.
Take care.
And my eventual response ...
I apologise for taking so long to respond. FB's refurbs tucked away a number of messages on me and I've only just discovered the cache.
If you are interested in hearing my side of the story, then I must find myself curious as to who has already told you theirs. I cannot find any mutual friends with you on FB. I feel that this places me at a double disadvantage.
As for investing more time, I am somewhat astounded by your request to hear more about my boyfriend so that you can decide about dating him. That's gutsy. I'm honestly not sure if I should admire you, or punch you in the face.
As for him dating two of us (or more) at once, you wouldn't believe the number of messages I've received in the last 20 years that tried to say the same thing. They all had one thing in common ... no proof. Most don't even try to offer any. According to him, you are just a friend that he once tried to date back in the 90's, but it didn't work. I'm willing to believe that.
My side of the story? He's not available. Thanks for writing.
If she's telling the truth, he's now in a world of trouble. I'm not sorry about that, by the by. I am seriously tired of getting notes like this. I am NOT the only ex that Jade has. I'm just the one that lasted longest. He has other exes on his FB list. I've seen them. None of them are getting these letters. Who the dickens contacts their boyfriend's ex and asks if he is worth keeping? This woman is supposedly an Executive with Addictions and Mental Health (according to FB) ... doesn't that mean she's a big girl now and can pull up her own panties?
Dear Sluts, Bitches, and Those Who Must Not Be Named; (I swear, this is the one time I would like to use the c-word.)
I don't care if you thought you were in love with Jade once, or think it now. I don't care if he banged you in the bathroom of a bar, or if you are one of his weepy one, or two, night stand conquests. I don't care if you think you own him. Do you really think I want to hear that he PROBABLY cheated on me with you? If you really think this is a problem that requires my attention (especially WELL AFTER we've separated) then be prepared to provide honest proof. Also be prepared to get checked for an STD, darlings. He's got one.
STOP CONTACTING ME! Did you read the part where I DON'T CARE?
Have a nice day!
Seriously. Do I need to start wearing hats made of tin foil? Get a life, people!
Meanwhile, back at headquarters ...
Mom and I started moving furniture in the living room today. It's an experiment. A pox on rectangular living rooms. Looking good so far though ... just have to move some big shelves and the TV (which I will carefully rewire so that the DVD player works!!) and Voila! The new floor plan! Not exactly Party friendly, but I'm sure it's workable in case of just such an emergency. ;)
Ah, yes, that reminds me of another fight. somebody wrote me in regards to my advertising on a page in FB. Apparently, I'm too pushy and not giving anybody else a chance. LOL! No, not really. And instead of writing me nasty letters, all they had to do was introduce themselves ('cause I hadn't noticed any consultants). I would be happy to share my advertising. That's how it works in PartyLite. Anyway, I won't get into it, needless to say, she declared that she was going to be speaking to her Unit Leader about me. Pfft. Okay. So, I contacted mine ... who promptly told me not to worry about it. I wasn't doing anything wrong.
It's been a busy couple of days for me. On a lighter side, I did manage to take myself out to a movie last night. Sherlock Holmes 2 is exquisite. I plan on going again tomorrow, with a friend this time, and seeing it again. Should I wear a mask in hopes of avoiding more letters?
Sweet Dreams!
Monday, January 02, 2012
Here We Go Again
(aka Stop the Ride! I Wanna Puke!)
(aka Why's the Barq's Gone??)
January 2, 2012 - 01:05
Mood: Emotionally tired, a little restless
Music: I'll Be Back Upon My Feet ~ The Monkees
Thought For the Day: If it's in Man's nature to strive to please, then why am I always sleeping alone?
All my life's a circle;
Sunrise and sundown;
Moon rolls through the night time;
'Til the daybreak comes around.
All my life's a circle;
But I can't tell you why;
Season's spinning round again;
It seems like I've been here before;
I can't remember when;
But I have this funny feeling;
That we'll all be together again.
No straight lines make up my life;
And all my roads have bends;
There's no clear-cut beginnings;
And so far no dead-ends.
I found you a thousand times;
I guess you done the same;
But then we lose each other;
It's like a children's game;
As I find you here again;
A thought runs through my mind;
Our love is like a circle;
Let's go 'round one more time.
~ Harry Chapin
Harry Chapin was a genius. I swear he was. I wonder if his life was like mine, in that he found himself repeatedly in similar situations. sometimes I feel like a bug caught in the dregs of somebody's glass and they are swirling it around to watch me struggle.
Here I am again. Getting ready to start over ... again. So much for my careful budgeting and plans to start doing nice things for myself. Impulsive Joyce, my mother, has flipped decisions again. Why? Because despite practical, solid advice that she agreed with, she had a couple people to say "Sure! Go for it! We'll help you!" Grrr ... Thanks, you idiots. Thanks alot. You going to loan me the money for my deposit for my new apartment and buy me a car too? Glad you think she's emotionally ready ... did you think about her funds? Or the fact that we've been a bit dependent on each other while sharing costs? Thanks. No, really ... Thanks alot.
Gah!
*sigh* Okay, fine. I've got until the end of February to get some funds together. I'll just have to see what I can accomplish. and re-work my budget to see what I have to work with. No point in talking to Jade. I have no intention of asking anybody for money anyway. Hmmm ... put the word out now and maybe I'll manage to get a couple friends out to help me move. Hopefully, I won't have to go far. My goal will be to stay in the same tower. Not that I'll have a lot of furniture. No, don't wanna think of that right now. It's just making me angry again. Lessee ... Budget what I know, sell what I can, and get help to move. Greywhistle, Shorty, Jade, Beej, Junglegirl, Harem and Mercury ... Lynne? Jackie? Sarge? maybe Lavender, but I'm not sure how much she can lift or how well her allergies will handle things. Well, we'll what we can get. Jade's a long shot, but I'll ask anyway. No worries. I'll manage. I guess I need to start packing things again. Grrr ...
Put the word out to a friend who can search for an affordable vehicle ... no, that will have to wait until I know what kind of cash I have to work with. I can't work my PartyLite without a vehicle. I'm finally starting to get customers, but they are all out of town, so far. But even if I get in-town customers, I can't exactly take the bus.
Thanks for dropping me on my ass again, Mom. You're getting better with practise. No more helping you out when you are down. I don't have anything left. Michael's turn. And if you tell me what I can sell one more time ... POW! To the moon!
Okay ... happier notes.
I'm getting a lot of compliments on my video of the local fireworks. Spot still loves me. My Imagination sent me some lovely messages for Christmas and New Year's (not the biggest positive right now, but it's a positive!) Going to focus on getting as many parties as I can while I have car. This means frying myself with work. Ah, well ... I hear there's no rest for the wicked.
Music: One Day at a Time - Theme song (Seems like it should be mine!)
If you need it, the song is here ... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M82CUd6isyY
... Oh sure, now she's up and wandering because her conscience is bothering her because she's dropping me on my ass. If she flips again, I'm going to scream. Can't trust her. *sigh* I guess I'll just have to stand back and wait. I've offered my advice. Just have to wait and see where impulse takes her.
Just wish she'd get it over with ... I can't make plans until she decides what HERS are.
Sweet Dreams ...
(aka Why's the Barq's Gone??)
January 2, 2012 - 01:05
Mood: Emotionally tired, a little restless
Music: I'll Be Back Upon My Feet ~ The Monkees
Thought For the Day: If it's in Man's nature to strive to please, then why am I always sleeping alone?
All my life's a circle;
Sunrise and sundown;
Moon rolls through the night time;
'Til the daybreak comes around.
All my life's a circle;
But I can't tell you why;
Season's spinning round again;
It seems like I've been here before;
I can't remember when;
But I have this funny feeling;
That we'll all be together again.
No straight lines make up my life;
And all my roads have bends;
There's no clear-cut beginnings;
And so far no dead-ends.
I found you a thousand times;
I guess you done the same;
But then we lose each other;
It's like a children's game;
As I find you here again;
A thought runs through my mind;
Our love is like a circle;
Let's go 'round one more time.
~ Harry Chapin
Harry Chapin was a genius. I swear he was. I wonder if his life was like mine, in that he found himself repeatedly in similar situations. sometimes I feel like a bug caught in the dregs of somebody's glass and they are swirling it around to watch me struggle.
Here I am again. Getting ready to start over ... again. So much for my careful budgeting and plans to start doing nice things for myself. Impulsive Joyce, my mother, has flipped decisions again. Why? Because despite practical, solid advice that she agreed with, she had a couple people to say "Sure! Go for it! We'll help you!" Grrr ... Thanks, you idiots. Thanks alot. You going to loan me the money for my deposit for my new apartment and buy me a car too? Glad you think she's emotionally ready ... did you think about her funds? Or the fact that we've been a bit dependent on each other while sharing costs? Thanks. No, really ... Thanks alot.
Gah!
*sigh* Okay, fine. I've got until the end of February to get some funds together. I'll just have to see what I can accomplish. and re-work my budget to see what I have to work with. No point in talking to Jade. I have no intention of asking anybody for money anyway. Hmmm ... put the word out now and maybe I'll manage to get a couple friends out to help me move. Hopefully, I won't have to go far. My goal will be to stay in the same tower. Not that I'll have a lot of furniture. No, don't wanna think of that right now. It's just making me angry again. Lessee ... Budget what I know, sell what I can, and get help to move. Greywhistle, Shorty, Jade, Beej, Junglegirl, Harem and Mercury ... Lynne? Jackie? Sarge? maybe Lavender, but I'm not sure how much she can lift or how well her allergies will handle things. Well, we'll what we can get. Jade's a long shot, but I'll ask anyway. No worries. I'll manage. I guess I need to start packing things again. Grrr ...
Put the word out to a friend who can search for an affordable vehicle ... no, that will have to wait until I know what kind of cash I have to work with. I can't work my PartyLite without a vehicle. I'm finally starting to get customers, but they are all out of town, so far. But even if I get in-town customers, I can't exactly take the bus.
Thanks for dropping me on my ass again, Mom. You're getting better with practise. No more helping you out when you are down. I don't have anything left. Michael's turn. And if you tell me what I can sell one more time ... POW! To the moon!
Okay ... happier notes.
I'm getting a lot of compliments on my video of the local fireworks. Spot still loves me. My Imagination sent me some lovely messages for Christmas and New Year's (not the biggest positive right now, but it's a positive!) Going to focus on getting as many parties as I can while I have car. This means frying myself with work. Ah, well ... I hear there's no rest for the wicked.
Music: One Day at a Time - Theme song (Seems like it should be mine!)
If you need it, the song is here ... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M82CUd6isyY
... Oh sure, now she's up and wandering because her conscience is bothering her because she's dropping me on my ass. If she flips again, I'm going to scream. Can't trust her. *sigh* I guess I'll just have to stand back and wait. I've offered my advice. Just have to wait and see where impulse takes her.
Just wish she'd get it over with ... I can't make plans until she decides what HERS are.
Sweet Dreams ...
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