Saturday, November 9, 2013
Remembering Our Veterans ... A lot of them were family. Deep respects will be paid on Monday. Thank you, all. ~ Lea
Mood: Energetic - just can't sit still. I have things to do and I just wanna do them!
Music: Breaking the Silence ~ Loreena McKennit
Thought of the Day: Those that are able to help you will be there when you need them. those who will not help you will also be there ... and you must then learn to help yourself, and do what needs to be done.
The knife was sharp and I bled for days after. The pain in my chest was simply crushing ... but then the blissful Healing settled over me, and I found Calm. Eventually, I was slowly filled with joy and energy. And then, I realised ... you really are your mother's son.
Wow! What a week! I'm telling you now that I never want to do that again. Even though, in the long run, it all leads to the best things in life ... It's not something that I think I should put down here, despite my need to speak it. I have a few very close friends who I trust that know the story. Even now, I try to be fair, but it's getting harder. Sounds like I am making excuses, more than offering balance. Perhaps, I no longer believe what I am saying. The Faith has been broken. Perhaps ... the blindfold has slipped?
The love is still there, but it no longer reaches out and struggles to reach, never mind hold on. The connection remains though. Not sure if that will ever really go away. Not sure that I want it to. I want it put in the proper place, not broken.
My friends who know have been incredible. Supportive, warm and just ... there. Positive. Encouraging. I feel like I've finally fond what I've been missing for most of my life. And they are REAL. Only one thing is truly missing and I am going to concentrate on it ... and hope.
That's the one thing that has returned. Hope. I had mistaken Wishes for hope, and therefore missed out on Happiness. So I guess I was missing two things. And now I have them. And they brought friends. Confidence. Strengthened Self-Image. Strength.
I'm singing again. I'm dancing like nobody is watching ... sometimes even in public. I'm looking forward to the holidays and the celebrating ... I'm getting out and spending time with friends.
So, yeah, Greywhistle. I'm doing okay. Thanks for checking. (Yup. Sarcasm. You know it.)
Tavis came home from his military exercise and the first words were "Hi. I missed you." That was the final needed balm that set things right for me. Nothing was holding me down. The difference was noted by those that care. Most of them, anyway. :) Apparently, we both "have it bad" but neither of us are able to leap the small distance to the next step.
Actually, a couple of my friends seem to agree on a theory - they think that my life would be SO much simpler if I was simply addicted to sex. Unfortunately, I appear to be addicted to making love instead. That's much harder to find. Right now though, I think I might be able to settle. LOL!
Get to spend time with Lavender tomorrow ... and relax with some wool, good food, and friendly chatter.
Sweet Dreams ...
PS. Hallo, Shorty! Don't say that I never mention you. LOL!
