The sky is the limit unless I want to visit the moon.

 16:26

Mood: Pleasant

Music: Jump, Jive, and Wail - Brian Setzer Orchestra

Thought of the Day: Comfort zones were meant to be expanded. To do that, you have to step out of them and scout out your chances.
Book Referral of the Day:  Year One by Nora Roberts (Published in 2017, so a little freaky, all things considered)

Having another good weekend. I completed my contract with BTA, and I have a week off before my next contract starts with ETS. I have to be there for 06:30, but, on the bright side, I’m missing the traffic jams.  Feel relaxed. Bit of a pay cut going from Clerk III to II, but still a good pay level.

Battery is dead again and I’m looking for a respectfully affordable place to get it replaced. The location of the battery in a ford focus is not for the faint of heart. It’s a fairly stupid location, given how difficult it is to keep it from freezing. (Do better, Ford!) Still, I can boost it or charge it up before I go anywhere, so, annoying, but do-able.

“Met” a new 1st cousin on-line, and it appears to be a happy meeting so far. Time will tell, I guess. For now, I’m going to be happy about it. I’m going to take her words at face value until I see actual proof of negativity. 

I’m almost done paying back my uncle for the loan he gave me last Fall. Contemplating asking him if he’d be willing to trust me with another one. He doesn’t affect my credit rating, and doesn’t charge interest. My aunt has been sick lately though, so I’ll wait and think it out a bit more.

It just feels good to have options, you know?

It also feels good to step outside in a light jacket and worry about falling flat on your ass. Or worse, falling on a not-flat step edge. The partridges are pairing up, the rabbits are changing colour … and I’m craving chocolate. Spring is lovely.

Mom is leaving at the end of the week for a two week working vacation. She’s going to babysit the cats at Michael’s and I’ve got so many plans for my time while she’s gone. It'll be an adjustment for the kids and me, but, on the whole, refreshing for me. I plan on enjoying it immensely.

Sweet Dreams!

The Joy of a Healing Heart

 12:23

Mood: Pleasant

Music: Hooked on a Feeling - Blue Swede

Thought of the Day: Have you been half asleep, and have you heard voices? I’ve heard them calling my name. ~ Kermit the Frog
Book Referral of the Day:  A Place for Margaret by Bernice Thurman Hunter

What a wonderful weekend I’m having. I am legitimately in a good mood. Lola’s been resuscitated and is driving smoothly. I’ve got breathing room in my finances. In a few weeks, Mom is going to Michael’s place to babysit their cats while he and his wife take a spring trip to California. (While it’s flooding.) I’m steadily losing weight, and I’m on my fourth LOTR Conqueror Challenge medal. And I’ve been having some  odd dreams lately. The kind that don’t seem to be just recycled consciousness, you know? They started when I ran out of pills for a week and had just started taking them again. (That was scary and I never want to run out again, by the by.) These dreams were eye opening when I thought about it and put them into perspective for myself. 

I wish I’d written them down sooner, but I’ll sum it up as best I can. 

Jade was trying to seduce me, but the night was cut short because he couldn’t get an erection. He was frustrated with it as he tried, and tried. I wandered away and found myself facing Dona. She was sneering at me and telling me she found indecent pictures of me on the net. But she couldn’t find them again to triumphantly show me her proof that I was the worst of the worst. I replied about how flattered I was that she was looking, etc. I was feeling amused and made her feel silly, especially as she had no comeback for it. Jade’s wife wandered into the room, oblivious to her surroundings and I felt a bit of pity for her. I then found myself in the back seat of a vehicle (SUV?). Dona, Wayne, and Wife all in the front bench seat facing forward. Nobody acknowledged me. Which I was perfectly fine with. I thought they were driving me home, but we ended up at a huge Farmer’s market in a small town. I got out of the vehicle and that’s the last I saw of them. I wandered a bit, eventually decided that the only way I was getting home was to start walking. I got out to the main road, and picked a direction. A glance across the field beside me showed a tornado approaching. I called out a warning to the people who were around me and ran back to the Market to warn people to take cover. Ended up collecting a small crying child that had been separated from their parents and protecting it. I glanced out the window to see how close the funnel was and realised the tornado had deviated a bit and the spot it was at that moment was Jade’s house. I wasn’t upset. I was in awe at how he was being wiped out of my life. I didn’t wonder if he survived. I just knew I’d never see him again. And, again, I wasn’t upset.

I’ve had a few other dreams, but those people have never once been in them. I feel like a good, strong door has finally closed between us and they can never hurt me again. I sat down the other morning and thought about these dreams that I’ve been having that haven’t actually felt like dreams. I thought about how positive I’ve been feeling about my situation, myself, and my future. I realised that I was happy. Which led me to a more important realisation. I’m finally healing. My mind has finally acknowledged the truth that my heart had quietly known for ever so long. 

It was a freeing moment. Seriously. 

The dream feels silly when I see it written like that, the whole emotional ambiance is missing. It wasn’t the actions, or the events that was important, so much as the meaning behind them all. The symbolism. And the fact that the results remain. They can’t hurt me anymore. Their opinion matters about as much to me as any other stranger’s. 

I have song, story, and magic in my life again. I won’t let it go again.

Sweet Dreams!