January 14, 2006 - 09:54
Hokey Stinkmore! I spent almost a whole afternoon trying to navigate my way through the Blogger Help "group" ... What a mess! Lots of frustration in that area. Don't go there. Scarey place.
There was so much that I wanted to write about and now that I'm able to get back in here, I can't remember any of it. Typical.
I've finally got my fidget back. I know that sounds odd, but I meant it exactly as I wrote it. I'm back to not being able to sit completely still. If I'm watching TV, I have to be doing something with my hands. I've recently started crocheting, and the crafting projects won't be far behind ... mostly they've just been waiting for me to find all of the materials and patterns. the patterns have been missing for a very long time. I'm starting to thnk that they got thrown out ... I hope not.
I plan on having most of my decorations for the wedding handmade. Some items will be crocheted by my Aunt Jane, and some will be done by me. Big ideas are looming in my head. I just need to find my patterns!!!!
For some reason, Dona doesn't seem to understand why I'm looking at wedding books and why my mother is excited. It's starting to get annoying. I believe I was looking at a magazine one day and she noticed.
Her: What are you doing?
Me: Looking at dresses and getting some ideas.
Her: Why?
O.o! I've chose not to make any replies to these comments. I've just given her odd looks. She may be blonde & Polish, but everybody knows that when there's a proposal with a ring, there's generally a wedding coming up somewhere. And if I hear, 'We're a family' one more time as an excuse or explanation, I'm going to scream. I'm a very private person. Always have been. I'm not used to having somebody constantly in my pockets, looking over my shoulder and asking what I'm doing. I'm not used to explaining my (almost) every move. I don't like it. It's taking her a -
January 15, 2006 - 05:19
The previous rant was interrupted by Life and won't be continued as I have forgetten what I was going to say.
So, here I sit. I've made Jade's lunch for work and I've seen him off with the customary send offs of the morning. Instead of going back to bed like I usually do, like I really need to do this morning, I'm here at my computer trying to force down the first of six glasses of water. My ultrasound is this morning, and I'd rather try to drink the water slowly than try to drink as much as possible just before. It's a pity that I can't eat though. Empty stomach, full bladder. Bah!
I've had more doctor's appointments in the last three years than I have in my entire life. I'm so sick of doctors. And when the results are in, I'll be forced to truck it back into the city to hear the news. Doesn't matter what the results are, I have to go hear them in person. What a pain. So sick of doctors.
I've worried Jade again though. Not because of the appointments, although I'm sure he's concerned about those too, but because I had a little breakdown last night. I'm rather disappointed in myself for it, although perhaps it was unavoidable. A mental setback, but I hope to create a stronger foundation for myself from it. Just as soon as I figure out what the heck caused it. Nothing worries a guy more, I think, than when his girl slowly sinks into sudden tears. Actually, I'm still fighting them back. No clue why. Maybe I'm just tired. I need to get out more. Jade thinks (hopes?) that this strange swing is being caused by new hormones. I'm not on the Pill anymore, you see, I'm trying out a newer product. What confuses me about this theory is that this new control item is supposed to have lower hormone levels than the pill. (It's also a lot more convenient!) the doctor suggested them because of the number of migraines I get. So is this part of the cause my my meltdown? I'm not so sure. I've noticed fewer swings, and less intensity. I guess time will tell.
So this morning, I'll be checking out the local sport centre and looking at schedules. There's supposed to be some aerobics going on here, which really perks my interest. A few other things too, but we'll see. I don't want to overdo it from the start.
Besides, I'm too hungry to think about it.
I just can't find the energy to write anymore. I'm sitting here just staring at my screen.
Maybe I'll go read or something.
Sweet Dreams!
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