Feeling a Strangeness ...

December 21, 2010 - 02:56

Event: Winter Solstice/Lunar Eclipse
Music: She's My Kind of Rain - Tim McGraw
Mood: Low enough to cry, but not depressed into immobility

Been an odd day today. Not sure if i would blame hormones or not. Probably just lonely. Lonely for my own space with my own things. Lonely for strong arms, and whispered loving words. Lingering kisses ... and hearing that special some one breathe deeply in sleep beside me.

I've got things pretty good here and I know it - which makes me even more depressed because then I feel guilty. I've been living out of my suitcase for over a year now. When I wasn't living in somebody else's home, I was scratching a sparse life with things that I couldn't even keep. I'm ready to go home.

I just have to find it.

Things are going well at work. Lots of hours pouring in which will make finding my home that much simpler, but it will still take a while. I have a couple more debts to pay off ... I have to consider new debts/bills and food in addition to rent, etc. I have to consider that PartyLite isn't going to make my life easier any time soon ... but I know that I will not give up on it because I love it.

I don't give up on anything that I love. Ever.

Let that be a lesson to me.

There's a strangeness in the air tonight ... another reason to wish for my own space. It's been a while since I felt this and I wish I was alone to explore it a bit. There's an energy ... a slumbering power with a light humming breath. I wish to immerse myself within it. It Calls to Me.

Sweet Dreams ...