Here We Go Again

(aka Stop the Ride! I Wanna Puke!)
(aka Why's the Barq's Gone??)


January 2, 2012 - 01:05

Mood: Emotionally tired, a little restless
Music: I'll Be Back Upon My Feet ~ The Monkees
Thought For the Day: If it's in Man's nature to strive to please, then why am I always sleeping alone?

All my life's a circle;
Sunrise and sundown;
Moon rolls through the night time;
'Til the daybreak comes around.


All my life's a circle;
But I can't tell you why;
Season's spinning round again;


It seems like I've been here before;
I can't remember when;
But I have this funny feeling;
That we'll all be together again.
No straight lines make up my life;
And all my roads have bends;
There's no clear-cut beginnings;
And so far no dead-ends.


I found you a thousand times;
I guess you done the same;
But then we lose each other;
It's like a children's game;


As I find you here again;
A thought runs through my mind;
Our love is like a circle;
Let's go 'round one more time.
~ Harry Chapin

Harry Chapin was a genius. I swear he was. I wonder if his life was like mine, in that he found himself repeatedly in similar situations. sometimes I feel like a bug caught in the dregs of somebody's glass and they are swirling it around to watch me struggle.

Here I am again. Getting ready to start over ... again. So much for my careful budgeting and plans to start doing nice things for myself. Impulsive Joyce, my mother, has flipped decisions again. Why? Because despite practical, solid advice that she agreed with, she had a couple people to say "Sure! Go for it! We'll help you!" Grrr ... Thanks, you idiots. Thanks alot. You going to loan me the money for my deposit for my new apartment and buy me a car too? Glad you think she's emotionally ready ... did you think about her funds? Or the fact that we've been a bit dependent on each other while sharing costs? Thanks. No, really ... Thanks alot.

Gah!

*sigh* Okay, fine. I've got until the end of February to get some funds together. I'll just have to see what I can accomplish. and re-work my budget to see what I have to work with. No point in talking to Jade. I have no intention of asking anybody for money anyway. Hmmm ... put the word out now and maybe I'll manage to get a couple friends out to help me move. Hopefully, I won't have to go far. My goal will be to stay in the same tower. Not that I'll have a lot of furniture. No, don't wanna think of that right now. It's just making me angry again. Lessee ... Budget what I know, sell what I can, and get help to move. Greywhistle, Shorty, Jade, Beej, Junglegirl, Harem and Mercury ... Lynne? Jackie? Sarge? maybe Lavender, but I'm not sure how much she can lift or how well her allergies will handle things. Well, we'll what we can get. Jade's a long shot, but I'll ask anyway. No worries. I'll manage. I guess I need to start packing things again. Grrr ...

Put the word out to a friend who can search for an affordable vehicle ... no, that will have to wait until I know what kind of cash I have to work with. I can't work my PartyLite without a vehicle. I'm finally starting to get customers, but they are all out of town, so far. But even if I get in-town customers, I can't exactly take the bus.

Thanks for dropping me on my ass again, Mom. You're getting better with practise. No more helping you out when you are down. I don't have anything left. Michael's turn. And if you tell me what I can sell one more time ... POW! To the moon!

Okay ... happier notes.

I'm getting a lot of compliments on my video of the local fireworks. Spot still loves me. My Imagination sent me some lovely messages for Christmas and New Year's (not the biggest positive right now, but it's a positive!) Going to focus on getting as many parties as I can while I have car. This means frying myself with work. Ah, well ... I hear there's no rest for the wicked.

Music: One Day at a Time - Theme song (Seems like it should be mine!)
If you need it, the song is here ... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M82CUd6isyY

... Oh sure, now she's up and wandering because her conscience is bothering her because she's dropping me on my ass. If she flips again, I'm going to scream. Can't trust her. *sigh* I guess I'll just have to stand back and wait. I've offered my advice. Just have to wait and see where impulse takes her.

Just wish she'd get it over with ... I can't make plans until she decides what HERS are.

Sweet Dreams ...