Jingle Bell Rocks! In so many ways.

 December 24, 2022 - 20:01

Mood: Apathetic. (A sad mood for Christmas Eve!)
Music: Crackle of a wood fireplace (Yes, again.)
Thought of the day: “Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other” - Abraham Lincoln

Well. Here we are on Christmas Eve. It's 20:05 and I have nothing wrapped. No decorations out, no cards made up or delivered. And I'm short 1 gift. Nevertheless, I am here, and I'm trying to psych myself up for "the home stretch". Not sure what happened. I was in such good spirits at the beginning of the month. Singing carols, making plans, getting things done. I've had responses to applications, had interviews and looking forward to good results coming my way. Maybe it was the lack of energy in the mall. I taxi'd my girlfriend to Kingsway mall for shopping last Sunday. No Santa, no tables/kiosks with Xmas specials, and the people traffic was damn low. Parking was EASY! What the heck? Xmas music in the mall, but not in the stores. Didn't notice much in the way of decorations either. It was like walking around Northgate (aka Northwood to some of us) Except Northgate is in sad need of repair. (If I had the money, I would buy it. It bugs me!)

Anyway! Back to psyching myself up. My missing gift recipient asked for something home-made, so I may be able to whip something up tonight. Time will tell. LOL!

Things are going okay in life. My stocks took a bit of a hit, but I'm sure they will recover. Dug a bigger hole than I like in my savings, but that's recoverable too. I feel that 2023 will start off well for me. New job, great pay. Working on vacation plans for the summer. Contemplating a new vehicle. Starting to lose weight, so thinking of new clothes in the Spring. I'm back on my vitamins, and I'm even doing yoga (from a book, but that's okay too. My crystal collection took a huge leap, thanks to the best advent calendar ever! (I love it! I want another!) Wondering if I should BBQ for New Year's. Nah. Pain to dig it out of the snow. (Mom buried it deep) Besides, there's a benefit to cooking indoors. Extra heat and yummy smells. IF I get the deck built, maybe I'll try next year. It could happen.

I'm happy. I wonder if that's actually the problem. I think I'm waiting for the shoes to start falling, and rugs being pulled. You know, I think this calls for a road trip. Bad timing, just now, but something to work out. Day trip or overnight? Time to get out and take some pictures. That's a cheerful thing for me. Take Kaylee with me. Maybe head towards my mountains. Dream of not coming back. Only a danger if I take Maggie with me.) 

I've decided to sort through my manga/comics and see what I might sell. People who help me move will thank me. I know.

Okay, so I think I have the blood flowing again. Time to get some wrapping done, and stockings stuffed. Not our biggest Xmas, but that's okay. Size isn't everything. It's the feeling behind it that counts.

From my house to yours. Merry Yule, Happy Xmas, and all the best in 2023. And don't forget to have ...

Sweet Dreams!

All ahead, full, Mr Sulu.

 December 11, 2022 - 14:12

Mood: I gots the blues, but I'm working on it.
Music: Crackle of a wood fireplace
Thought of the day: “A dream doesn’t become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination and hard work.” - Colin Cowell

I am utterly depressed today. No clue why. I shouldn't be. I thought I was just tired the last week, but today, well. I shouldn't be depressed. It's December, I have a possible job offer on the table, I'm getting my sh*t in life together. So why am I trying to curl up in a ball so tight that my cat is concerned? A little bit is my mother - her own anxiety reactions are usually a big trigger for me. She can be the bad side of the fountain of youth. I've been adulting quite well for some time now, yet she reduces me to a young child every time I do something out of her sight.

"What are you doing?"

"Are you cooking something?"

"Is that your dinner or your lunch?"

"Are you downstairs or upstairs? Just checking."

"Is your car plugged in? You pulled too far forward and I can't see the light."

That's only a small sample. Am I an only child? No. Just the only child within reach. (insert heavy sigh)

But I don't want to complain about Mom. I don't want to focus on the negative. I want to focus on continuing the forward momentum that I had going. I had to drag myself to my desk to write something, and I'm not ashamed of that. I'm damn proud that I made myself do it. This is the road to success. It's not a highway yet, so I'm hoofing it. Tripping is a potential hazard, but not the end of the journey as long as I get back up. The scenery is whatever I need it to be. I just have to picture what I need.

I have two stories going. One I had started in High School. Another in college. Have a third on the fringes, but I haven't worked things out yet. Just a few conversations/scenes. If I'm able to go on vacations again, I plan on doing a travel blog again. I got a lot of good comments in the past about my descriptions and my articles of events. Half the magic was writing it out while I was the passenger. Not sure how I will work that magic again. I'll find a way. Or I'll pull over alot. LOL! Maybe I should look into voice recording. A different magic? Hmm. Maybe Colin's quote is slightly off target. Or maybe it's just me.

This is what I needed. Plans to do what I love, not complaints about what's holding me back.

I think I'm going to start adding book recommendations to the stats at the top.

Today's book is The Root Cellar by Janet Lunn. Historic insight and the guts to accept your situation. Wherever you are for whatever reason you're there.

If you read it, and like it, leave me a note.

Meanwhile I have to grab a book out of my library. And consider which craft to make for gifts. (Only 2 to go!)

Sweet Dreams!

Cool Runnings

 December 1, 2022 - 12:12

Mood: Calm. Not quite serene though.
Music: Crackle of a wood fireplace
Thought of the day: “Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.” - Helen Keller.

I'm quite impressed that this page hasn't been removed. I'm glad that it hasn't. It's going to be pivotal in my regrowth. I hope. Okay, that sounds dramatic, but it could also be considered optimistic as well. I just finished reading a book trilogy that really spoke to me and it boosted my determination to do things that make me happy, so that I can grow as a person. I had taken some steps during the summer, but it only covered a certain aspect of my "Happy". Now I'm going to begin shaping another. People can talk about "baby steps" but really, only a fool tries to do everything at once. That leads to failure, more often than not.

I'm on track. And even if the movement is slow, it's going forward. A little progress is still progress. Don't let anybody tell you different. I have the tools and I have the talent. Time to work on the focus.

A huge part of my path to improvement, my road to happiness, is my calendar. No more thinking of things I'd like to do and never seem to have time for. Nope. I made a schedule. "This" needs to be done. Let's schedule it "here" and maybe "here". If that's not enough time to complete it, I'll schedule more. Right now I have about 4 or 5 projects on my calendar. Varying sizes, so there's room to add others without overwhelming myself. I firmly believe in NOT glorifying "Busy". How does life happen if you don't make time for it?

So, Christmas season is upon us! I have a healthy start to my shopping. Just need to get or make gifts for a couple more people. And the stocking stuffers. Mom has big ambitions for dinner, so I get to think about brunch. Not quite shoestring budget, but having my contract end last month was not exactly beneficial to the bank roll. Never-the-less, I have plans. And they are going to be epic happy. So there.

I don't believe in the no-win scenario.

Meanwhile, my life revolves around my three fur-kids. TJ is getting older, but slight changes have him acting much younger. I think he's making up for lost time. Still a grump though. Poor thing is the only male in the household, for what it's worth. KJ is a middle child and has her grandmother wrapped around her paw. MM is my shadow. She needs to know where I am at all times. Not glued to my hip, but she does have a happy place on my shoulder. Which used to be cuter when she was tiny. Love all my kids to bits. And they know it.

Discovering that I was half adopted made so much in my life make sense. That DNA kit was one of the best impulse buys I ever made. I'm thinking of mailing one to my father. Won't manage it for Christmas, but Father's Day is a do-able plan. He's still in denial. Never mind. DNA doesn't lie. My family tree is bigger than ever and I have no idea how to pronounce most of the new branch. Ukrainian/Polish (thanks to bouncing border lines) A new language to think about, and a war to watch.

And so goes the journey ...

Sweet Dreams