All ahead, full, Mr Sulu.

 December 11, 2022 - 14:12

Mood: I gots the blues, but I'm working on it.
Music: Crackle of a wood fireplace
Thought of the day: “A dream doesn’t become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination and hard work.” - Colin Cowell

I am utterly depressed today. No clue why. I shouldn't be. I thought I was just tired the last week, but today, well. I shouldn't be depressed. It's December, I have a possible job offer on the table, I'm getting my sh*t in life together. So why am I trying to curl up in a ball so tight that my cat is concerned? A little bit is my mother - her own anxiety reactions are usually a big trigger for me. She can be the bad side of the fountain of youth. I've been adulting quite well for some time now, yet she reduces me to a young child every time I do something out of her sight.

"What are you doing?"

"Are you cooking something?"

"Is that your dinner or your lunch?"

"Are you downstairs or upstairs? Just checking."

"Is your car plugged in? You pulled too far forward and I can't see the light."

That's only a small sample. Am I an only child? No. Just the only child within reach. (insert heavy sigh)

But I don't want to complain about Mom. I don't want to focus on the negative. I want to focus on continuing the forward momentum that I had going. I had to drag myself to my desk to write something, and I'm not ashamed of that. I'm damn proud that I made myself do it. This is the road to success. It's not a highway yet, so I'm hoofing it. Tripping is a potential hazard, but not the end of the journey as long as I get back up. The scenery is whatever I need it to be. I just have to picture what I need.

I have two stories going. One I had started in High School. Another in college. Have a third on the fringes, but I haven't worked things out yet. Just a few conversations/scenes. If I'm able to go on vacations again, I plan on doing a travel blog again. I got a lot of good comments in the past about my descriptions and my articles of events. Half the magic was writing it out while I was the passenger. Not sure how I will work that magic again. I'll find a way. Or I'll pull over alot. LOL! Maybe I should look into voice recording. A different magic? Hmm. Maybe Colin's quote is slightly off target. Or maybe it's just me.

This is what I needed. Plans to do what I love, not complaints about what's holding me back.

I think I'm going to start adding book recommendations to the stats at the top.

Today's book is The Root Cellar by Janet Lunn. Historic insight and the guts to accept your situation. Wherever you are for whatever reason you're there.

If you read it, and like it, leave me a note.

Meanwhile I have to grab a book out of my library. And consider which craft to make for gifts. (Only 2 to go!)

Sweet Dreams!