If you Stop and Think ... well, you might see it

April 2, 2006 – 19:11

Try to see it my way,
Do I have to keep on talking ‘til I can't go on?
While you see it your way,
Run the risk of knowing that our love may soon be gone.
We can work it out,
We can work it out.

Think of what you're saying.
You can get it wrong and still you think that it's all right.
Think of what I'm saying,
We can work it out and get it straight, or say good night.
We can work it out,
We can work it out.

Life is very short, and there's no time
For fussing and fighting, my friend.
I have always thought that it's a crime,
So I will ask you once again.

Try to see it my way,
Only time will tell if I am right or I am wrong.
While you see it your way
There's a chance that we might fall apart before too long.
We can work it out,
We can work it out.

Life is very short, and there's no time
For fussing and fighting, my friend.
I have always thought that it's a crime,
So I will ask you once again.

Try to see it my way,
Only time will tell if I am right or I am wrong.
While you see it your way
There's a chance that we may fall apart before too long.
We can work it out,
We can work it out.

- Beatles

I’ve always felt that it was possible to work out almost any kind misunderstanding between two people. All that was required was an honest effort made on the parts of both sides. Effort to wade through the sludge of misunderstandings. Sometimes a third party is required to help mediate – but I prefer to exhaust all other prospects before bringing others in … when I have a choice.

So it’s very frustrating when I’m doing my best to keep the third party to the side and neutral and the other party keeps pulling them back in. If you involve them, they develop opinions and seem to choose sides whether they want to our not. (Even if they are not, or trying not to, it can seem as if they are.) Besides, my issues are with party number two. That’s who I am talking to and that’s who I expect a response from. This is all very difficult to do by e-mail. It may be the hardest thing. I hoped, as I wrote, that the second party (and the third) would keep that in mind and make the effort to see what I was writing.

I have no idea what was found offensive, because I never got a response. The third party offered to point out what she thought was offensive, but since the letter was not intended for her, well, I felt that it was unnecessary and would only prolong, if not add to, the pain.

Because I am hurt by this. Deeply. I may have accidentally offended this person initially, but I made the effort to explain, despite receiving a severely harsh note that offered nothing but poison. I made the effort. I’d still make it. Not because of party number three either, but because that’s part of who I am.

I also know to stop beating a dead horse to make it move.

I spent four hours writing that letter. I took an awful lot out that I thought would be troublesome. If there was a couple of “maybes” in there, well, I left those on purpose. If this person is going to try to get to know me, then I wasn’t going to walk on eggshells and tip toe. It took me a very long time to leave the egg shells behind in my life and I won’t pick them up now. Not for her. Not for my friend. Not for anybody. Harsh? Rude? No. Standing firm.

I will not look back on this with regret. None. I tried my best and that’s all that anyone can ask or expect. I came in with an open mind and my hand held out. I left with a red mark on my cheek and a heaviness in my heart. And, I admit, a tear in my eye. (Okay, a few tears. )

I'm sorry that she feels that way, but I must accept what I cannot change.

The End. Door closed – but not yet locked.

Going to lose myself in some work downstairs now. Just me, a candle and my ghosts. Whether or not my cat will join me remains to be seen.

I leave with a small parting shot though. Something that I feel must be said – but to provoke thought and consideration, not ire. A quote from the Principles of Belief – written by the American Council of Witches:

“Calling oneself “Witch” does not make a Witch – but neither does heredity itself, or the collecting of titles, degrees, and initiations. A Witch seeks to control the forces within him/herself that make life possible in order to live wisely and well, without harm to others, and in harmony with Nature.”

… without harm to others …

And It Harms None, Do As You Will

Blessed Be and ...
Sweet Dreams!