Snow White and Cinderella Don't Live Here

April 20, 2006 – 10:54

Ugh.

No, really.

Now is not a good time for me to be out of work. Between Jade’s birthday present to himself – which he’s really pleased with and hasn’t stopped drooling over, the cost of repairing the one it replaced – because we kept it, and all the other usual bills that I’m not helping with right now … well … now is not a good time to be out of work.

I could go get a job on the track. There has to SOMEBODY that needs help and I could suck it up for a month. But I’m having trouble convincing myself to go back to the hours involved. I LIKE seeing Jade and spending time with him for more than three nights a week. I LIKE knowing that I don’t have to try and get things done in one day because I only have one day off a week – especially since I’ll be working seven days a week soon enough. I LIKE knowing that I’m keeping up with more than my share of the housework instead of Jade having to do it all because I have neither the time or the energy. I know that he likes that part too.

I also know that we can afford to squeeze by financially until the Thoroughbreds come in and I start my other job. I just know that we don’t really want to.

I don’t want to go back to another temp job. I don’t want to get attached to horses that I might not get to work with again – even if I do go back to that particular barn. I wish I could find somebody who was willing to hang on to a good thing (me) and offer me the same respect of loyalty that I give them. Thought I had it. I was wrong. Haven’t come close to it since.

This brings to mind another question. If we can’t survive the short time I’ve been (and may continue to be) off work – how are we going to survive my not working when I quit work to start a family? Well, I’m doing my best to reduce costs here at home. I’m eating less, the heat stays down, we’re eating more home cooked meals, I’m going to be maintaining a garden (which means I’ll probably have to learn to do some canning) and I keep things clean. All he has to do is budget his own spending.

Still, I need my own cash flow. But outside of the track, where will I find a job that will only hire me for a month? I still have SOME money from my far away last payday, but it’s not going to last that long. I know Jade will give me whatever I need, but I’ve gotten used to having my own and don’t wanna ask for any more than I have to. And anybody that owes me money is not in a position to pay me back. Wasn’t gonna depend on that anyhow.

Hmmm… the quandary of it all.

Ah, something’ll come up. I’m stressing, that’s all. I don’t think it’s as bad as I think it to be. I just like to worry things to death.

Supposed to be very nice out today. We’ll see. I plan on planting a few things today for sure. Just need to work out what goes where.

Hey! It’s already 15C outside! I’m gonna get out there now! (The highest UV points of the day that Usually avoid, but I have a lot of hade in my yard still … should be okay.) As long as the wind stays down, I should be good for heat.

April 21, 2006 – 15:06 – Happy Birthday, Jade!!

Nice day out. Very little light, but also very little wind. I can deal with that. Being warm can be a very powerful thing too.

Well, it’s been a busy day so far … I watered the garden and flower beds, refilled the bird bath, scritched the neighbour’s dog, washed all the upstairs glass (whew!), dusted the living room and dining room (I missed a few high spots, but I can get them later.), washed the dishes, and am currently waiting for a cake to bake. I’m taking a break and sitting at the computer for a bit. So there. When the break is done, I’ll make Jell-o, put the last of my books away, wash the floors, vacuum, wash the dishes I dirtied with the cake mix and start thinking about supper. At some point, I hope to find a quiet moment to sit in the craft room. I STILL haven’t found my craft booklets. It’s driving me batty. Maybe they are in with the books or something. Maybe it’s in that box that Spot has been sleeping on. I know that they are here somewhere!!

I’m going to be designing a coaster for Lynne. (I think I may have mentioned this.) Peeps coasters. Including a few special ones – like camo-Peep, and buckle-Peep … maybe have-gun-don’t-piss-me-off-Peep. I’m better at designing signs, etc, but I think I can manage this.

Jade has managed to slip out of work early and gone golfing with his Dad. He invited me to come along … actually booked a tee time for me. Too bad he never told me ‘til this afternoon. I told him to go have a game with his Dad and he said he’d make time to play a game with me later.

Pity that he’s talking about golf.

Two weeks until FCBD!!! YAY!!! I’m looking forward to this. The Shepherd asked if I’d be dressing up … but I don’t know. I don’t think so this year … I’ll just wear the FCBD T-shirt and some nice fitting pants .. will that be good enough? Might even wear pig tails. Never know.

Wonder how he’s going to manage the BBQ? They are on a second floor …

18:26

Whew! Got a lot of work done! And all in good time too. Jade should be done his golf soon and will be coming home. Well, he’d better be impressed … Or I’ll be cleaning up the blood with his … well, depends on how much blood there is …

I don’t think I’m going to find a quiet moment in the craft room … at least, not until later tonight, but I’m gonna get those books put away. I’m SO tired of boxes!!

Well, I’d better get my butt in gear and get my last chore done. Then I can relax a bit … maybe ice the cake. Who knows? I might even get the chance to dress up nicely …

Nah. Clean house, dirty girlfriend … Love me or leave me.
Sweet Dreams!