What Doesn't Kill Me ...

April 3, 2009 - 13:37

It has been a very slow day today. Yesterday, I managed to send out yet another resume - this time, by traditional post. It's one of those too good to be true kind of job postings ... so it must be meant for me! :) And it's in St. Albert ... I won't be saving money on gas. We'll see.

Last night was horrible. None of my guests showed up except for the girl that was starting ... and she STILL wasn't ready to start. She's created her own obstacle by declaring it's going to be hard, because she just moved here from the Maritimes. Phooey. That's chicken talk. And to top it all off, I had a migraine, the likes of which I haven't had in a long time. I almost didn't make it home. It was bad enough that I didn't unload the truck ... I came straight in the house, put the bird to bed, and fed the cat and went straight to bed.

In the middle of the night, I woke and noticed that my headache was gone. I rolled over and went back to sleep, looking forward to the new day ... and woke feeling groggy. I got up and began to get the day started ... and didn't last the hour before going back to bed. The migraine was returning. I awoke again and still felt trapped by the migraine, but less groggy. Finally I bowed to Fate and took some acetaminophen ... the pain is gone now, except for a dull ache. I made some breakfast and watched a movie while I got my wits together.

I fully intend to push myself with my training today, for The Ride. I still only have a single donation, but I believe that I will manage to get the needed donations to participate. It cannot be my lot in life to constantly fail to achieve my dreams.

This morning, I wondered - What is stronger? The Mind, or the Heart? Against each other, they cause me great pain. Together, they may yet defeat me. I wonder what it will take to win them both to my side ... to create a stronger Self. And wonder again, what wonders I could achieve for that Self, and for my Inner Worth.

They say that the sky is the limit, but I have never once dreamed of flying ... even though I believe that I have the wings to do so.

Sweet Dreams!