Joie de Vivre

May 13, 2009 - 20:57

It has been brought to my attention that I have slacked off again. I'm getting bruises from all the pokes, so I thought I'd better get something down and save myself while I can! Besides, I actually feel like writing ... so here I am.

Here I am ...

Where am I?

I'm in a state of ... I don't even know what to call it. It was much stronger this afternoon when I went out for my daily ride, but I know it wasn't caused by the ride itself. It was cold out, and I almost wasn't dressed warmly enough. The sun was slightly warming, but too weak to have much effect. So I can't say it was just the weather either.

No, I think I have finally found it. It's been a long, long time since I had it. I'd be willing to say several years. That sounds about right. I've come close to it. I've even touched it briefly, only to have it fade away again. I dare say that I've even faked it a few times ... although that doesn't quite describe it properly.

Joie de Vivre. It's mine again. I wish you all luck in finding your own. May the Healing begin. (If you don't know what it is, you need to read more books! Try Google!)

It was almost too chilly for my ride today. It's mid-May, for the love of green apples! Out I went, never-the-less ... and did fairly well. I push myself a bit ... keeping the bike in 10th or 11th gear. I'm not ready for the paths in the valley yet, but I have a routine that gives me varying slopes and dips, so I'm happy.

I'd be ready for The Ride by the time it came, if I was able to go. I don't know that I'll manage to raise the finds though. I'm having trouble just keeping up with my PartyLite Follow-ups! I really want to do this event, but I wonder if it's a realistic goal right now. Even if I pulled in a last minute, under-the-wire miracle ... I wonder if I'm trying to create too many miracles at once. I have other dreams ...

I am trying to be a Unit Leader before Conference this year. This is important to me and I'm working hard to make it happen. I'll be completing my second sponsor this week. Even if I don't make Unit Leader before the Conference, this is reason enough to make sure I am on the plane to get there! For each sponsor, that is, for each person that I help to start their own business with PartyLite, I will get an envelope when I go on stage. In each envelope, is CASH, baby! It could be anywhere from $75 - $2000!! If I can promote up to a Unit Leader, I'll have yet another envelope ... with MORE cash in it. Up to $3000, I think. Can you imagine? I have better chances at getting a good win from this than I do with a lotto ticket!!

Wanna have the same chance? Contact me ... I'll buy the coffee/tea/milk!

Dreams ... I have a lot of them. Big dreams, small dreams, silly ones ... ones I could get soon, ones that I'll have to wait for or work towards. I still want a place to keep horses. I want to hear a child call for it's mother, and know it's calling for me. I want to improve my golf game. I want to learn other languages, and travel, and learn histories and myths and legends. I want to create a place where people come to visit to feel better, or to work things out for themselves. A retreat, I guess. I'd like another kitten. I want to be a part of something special. I want Jade to tell me that he loves me. I dream of being a size 8 again, but I'll settle for a 10. I want to publish at least one writing project. I want to get up on stage and be a public speaker for something I believe in. I want to be looked up to, instead of looked down on. I want my computer station upstairs where it belongs! I want to get married to somebody who thinks that I'm a very important person in their life and will love me forever!

The list goes on. Some reachable, some not ... some will come true, some will remain happy dreams for a very long time.

How are things going for me right now? That's what most of you want to know ...
Not bad, considering. I have lots of food in the house, and I won't be in trouble for money until the 20th. I plan on being employed by then. Whether or not I'll have a payday before that, I don't know ... but I have a better chance of getting somebody to lend me money if they know I can pay them back! (Feel free to volunteer!)

I have another interview tomorrow, but Tuesday's went very well. I guess I'll wait to see how this one feels. No word at all from the County of Strathcona - which is a pity. I had high hopes for it.

The house is slowly coming together as I place things where I want them. I still need to make a trip to Pender and I can't put it off for long. My parents are sending me money to cover the trip ... so it'll just be a matter of finding time. Something that gets harder if I get a new job. What nut gets away with taking a holiday right after starting a new job? It's usually frowned on, I believe. Of course, it would be impossible if I don't get works soon too ...

I've been thinking. I've been an important person in the lives of several people. But I've always been more of a stepping stone, or a resting place ... somebody who helps a person get back on track ... not somebody who gets the fairytale Prince and lives happily ever after. A Blue Fairy, maybe. Nah ... not quite. To say that I'm better than that would be to turn those people into Users, and that is not my aim at all. But don't I get the chance to find a happy ending?

I want the fairytale.

I'm going to find it. Damned if I'm going to let it pass me by!

Sweet Dreams!