Faded Roses

Monday, June 29, 2009 - 00:10

Tough day today. Woke up from the strangest dream, feeling groggy and still tired.

I thought things were going to be okay because I'd made the decision that things were over between Jade and I. He's doing his best to sneak out of my life anyway, using excuse after excuse. Enough. Many of you who are my FB Friends noticed when I made the decision. (Some of you noticed right quick!!)

But today, I took off the ring. I've been wearing that ring for two years. I've always felt naked without it.

So, really bad morning ... fought with the depression, but it felt like I was struggling in a straight jacket in a dark room. Sat down and watched a couple movies ... and around noon, I managed to get enough interest in life to make something to eat at last. Made enough to cover two meal breaks at work too.

Got invited out to supper with my Aunt and came home with another full meal in a container. Felt better after too. Only a little smoked out. :)

I wish that Jade was my only trouble ... Took EI over two months to pay me ... and my plans to use it to pay the bills? Not gonna happen. My landlady freaked about the stains my parents left behind and she demanded that I pay my own deposit. So I wrote her a cheque ... even though I still hadn't paid rent yet at that point. Rent went through soon after and EI a week after that. So I've paid $1600 in the last couple of weeks ... and rent is due again right away. I'm going to be short for rent, and not able to pay ANY of the bills.

I'm starting to get the calls. I thought I'd left those behind.

I'll start making a few phone calls tomorrow morning ... hopefully I can get somewhere with them. Not sure what I'm going to do for extra cash though.

Something will come up though. I'll think of something. Everything will be alright.

I hope.

Sweet Dreams!