(aka - I Wonder Where the Aliens Went?)
June 23, 2011 - 14:53
Music: All You Need is Love (Elephant Love Song Medley) - Ewan McGregor and Nicole Kidman
Mood: Cheering ... spontaneous giggling fits can be uplifting
Thought for the Day: No matter how you feel in the morning when you first get up, there's always an improvement after you've had a good poop.
I'm going to have to split this entry up and work on it a bit more when I get back from work. I've been revelling in the feeling of having the place to myself today and I've put the writing off for a bit longer than I had intended. I'll write as much as I can, but I also have to get my lunch ready. :) Mom got called in to work at her old job temporarily - covering for a lady on holidays. She readily agreed because she is on a limited income and regrets how much she's been tapping into her savings. We've been eating out a bit too much. Partially because it's convenient at times, partially because it's become a bit of a habit for her over the last couple of years, and partially because I think she doesn't want to come home just yet. She takes a lot of coaxing and bullying to get her out of the apartment ... no matter what the reason is ... and she definitely won't do it on her own. That way lies madness. Trust me, I know. I remember.
I've had my week three weigh-in at the Clinic. Good news, although not as brilliant as I was hoping. See, first week, I lost a stunning 5.3 pounds. Second week, I gained most of that back. This week, I know I lost some. I was told that from my starting weight, I'm still down two pounds. Well, that's something. I'm also back on the pill. Maybe not a good choice to do these at the same time, but there you go. Despite the pill though, I missed my period. My weight consultant is showing a bit of concern about it. Next week, we'll have a combo visit with her and the Doc together. I'm hoping to get something like a water pill to help me deal with the bloating. It's a bit out of hand.
Other than that, I feel good about my diet and the exercise, which now includes power crunchies. I look in the mirror and I think I see some improvement. Small, minute, but there. Of course, I'm the best there is at fooling myself, but it's positive thinking and I'll take it. Might even run with it ... :) Let me just grab a water bottle.
June 24, 2011 - 14:41
Here I am again for another quick note ... Well, it's better than not writing, right?
Music: Black Velvet - Alannah Myles (I can't NOT dance to it)
Mood: Good
Thought for the Day: Always be yourself. Otherwise you'll spend the rest of your life wondering who you are and who your partner is actually in love with.
So ... I wanted to touch on yesterday's thought for a little bit. I was amazed that thought came out of my head, for one ... and how well it fits into life in general. It's true. Life is so much better when you get the crap out of it, no matter what that crap is. Once it's gone, you feel so much lighter ... mentally, physically. Of course, life abhors a vacuum, so try to keep an eye out for what you are replacing that crap with. If you are lucky, it will fill itself with positive stuff ... it does happen sometimes ...
Speaking of cleaning things up ... I got the idea that my space/room was subconsciously reflecting the chaos that I thought my life was becoming. So I've been working on slowly cleaning it up. A bit here, a bit there. and I have been slowly climbing out of the noize in my head. (Yes, it's spelled that way on purpose, so there!) My personal time while Mom is working has been helping quite a bit too. there's something very relaxing about not constantly being on guard, even in your own home. I can walk around in my underwear, if I choose. I don't have somebody telling me that I'm fat, my butt is big, or that my hair is dirty/messy/etc. I don't get pulled out of my thoughts with somebody telling me that I really should get that mole on my chin removed.
Yes, this is my mother ... to be fair, she has to put up with my mood swings, but I certainly don't return the "compliments". We're going to have a chat soon. I tried to tell her before, but she doesn't understand. Maybe I was too vague.
Lots of exciting things going on with PartyLite right now. I'm dizzy with it all, and worried about overwhelming my customers/potential customers. I haven't had a sale since ... February? March? I don't recall. There was still snow on the ground. Everybody thinks that I am doing well though ... its kind of sad that I am not getting ANY sales. I don't know what exactly I am doing wrong, but I have great hope in being in the upcoming trade show. I will achieve success there. I know I will. and I'll have to cut back on the night hours ... which won't make me cry at all. don't get me wrong. I love my job, and I really like most of the people that I work with. But I think that the shift work, especially NIGHT shift work, is bad for my health. Other than increasing my sales with PartyLite, I am looking at going back to school ... doing what, I'm not sure. So many interests ... so many skills ... none of them standing out from the other. The challenge will be to find something that I won't get bored with. And, of course, I still have fantasies of motherhood ... I must make my child proud and set a good example. Eventually.
Sweet Dreams!
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