The Foggy Dew

(aka Starting Anew and Afresh, But Still Keeping a Wary Eye Out for the Aliens.)

July 26, 2011 - 23:40

Mood: A little tired, but already plotti- ... erm, looking forward to her next adventure.
Music: Does Your Mother Know ~ ABBA
Thought for the Day: If a clean desk is the sign of a sick mind, then what does an organised desk signify?

Just getting some things together for my last shift at the Trade Show. I'm determined to get some major results during my shift. It's difficult being a true Gemini at times ... nothing creates a personal obstacle more than being a Shy Outgoing Person. Or am I an Outgoing Shy Person? You see? I can't even properly classify myself.

I'm not doing as well as I expected, but I don't know what exactly I'm doing wrong. I'll just have to try harder. So far, I have the lowest stats of the team ... I think. Still, I'm better off now than I was before, which was the point of the process. So, tomorrow, I need to gather $400 in orders ... or at least one booking in July. A tight squeeze, I know. And, frankly, a little impossible since I've already been scheduled up to the first week of August. *sigh* Well, here's to hoping that all those catalogues that I handed out will lead to something in the way of improving my finances.

I seem to have lost my Commenting Club ... ah, well. I write this for me, but I do admit that it's nice to get feedback at times.

Speaking of which, I'm no sure if this is a compliment or not, but I was working out the other day and sharing the room with an old man who was very chatty. He also bounced about the weight machine with energy. I remember thinking that he was going to hurt himself. Like many elderly, he had an opinion and advice about everything and anything ... including sex. I have no idea how he steered the conversation that way, as I admit I was only half listening to him., but suddenly he was coaxing me to have an affair with him. He demanded to know if I was feeling hot and feeling an itch, and where was the itch I was feeling? He kept going on about how his wife had no real idea about what he was doing at the moment, and nobody would know. I was still affecting amusement as I bid him goodbye and left the room, but started to freak a little as I got out of sight down the hall. I'm still not sure if I should report him to the office. Thankfully, he never actually touched me. I promise that if he had, the police will never find his balls, and the coroner will be mystified as to the tool used to remove them. He claimed to be 78 ... true or not, he should know better.

Not entirely sure what to add to that.

Looks like I'm going to be a very busy girl at Job #1. The newest schedule to come out has me working four closing shifts out of five. I mean, wow. Hopefully, this will lead to good things. Like paid off credit cards. So I can use them again. LOL!

Speaking of which, I have to go an check my balances.

Good night, and ...
Sweet Dreams!

P.S. By the by ... about Balance ... I'm doing well with mine. It's only slightly off right now, but I feel strong. Grounded, but ready to fly when the situation calls for it. The fire within is lit and crackling merrily, and shines brightly in the darkness. Come. Feel the warmth.

The Ride of the Valkyries

July 25, 2005 - 00:37

Mood: Kinda pleasantly blurred - in a good mood, thanks to a good day, but there is a stink in the air outside that's giving me the munchies.
Music: Right Here Waiting ~ Richard Marx (the first "current" song I ever learned the words to!)
Thought for the Day: If you can't love me as I am, then how can you say that you love me?

I didn't think that I was in the mood the write today, despite having things to say, but I just left a big blob of words on a friend's 'blog and realised that I may have been mistaken.

The urge to get my own place is strong within me. I miss the privacy. I miss being able to take a shower and NOT discovering that somebody has turned on the dishwasher while I was in there. I miss taking the opportunity to lay naked in a sunbeam ... you get the idea. I don't want to have to be on my guard all the time - and no matter how nice the person is, or how much you love them, you are going to be on your guard to some degree. No matter how small. I miss not having to watch my mood swings as soon as I walk in the door. Where's the slumping relaxation? When do I get to shake off the mask and the invisibility cloak and just be myself? Being lonely is the sacrifice I make to maintain my sanity.

Besides, my being here is not helping Mom much. For one thing, she never sees me. What am I supposed to do? Quit my jobs? Am I suppose to watch over her every move? She seems wonderfully content to allow somebody else to make the brunt of the decisions. I've been trying to wean her off that, but it's a horrible experience. Right now she's given up on everything. Finding somebody new, getting a job, going to school, losing weight ... DOING anything ... Perhaps it is cruel to let her live alone with that, but I can't afford to let her drag me back down to that level with her. I have my own destiny to weave ... I can't be carving hers too.

She was doing better when I was around more, but I just got a promotion at one job, and it looks like I'm going to be a bit busier with the other. The only thing we are doing for each other right now is sharing a few bills. Getting my own place might mean losing the car ... but maybe by then I will be able to afford my own. We'll see.

I've also been looking at getting my eyes laser corrected ... if they can be. That could affect things in regards to being on my own too. We'll just have to see how my savings do, I guess. I'll need a car for one job, if not the other, no matter what my location will be.

There's also the matter of wanting somebody else in my life, as well. I don't know about you, but it's difficult to be properly romantic with your mother sleeping in the next room. I'm not 16 anymore, dammit.

Speaking of romance. I was invited, out of the blue, to go see the final Harry Potter movie. Best. Date. Ever. (The movie was good too!) If he felt as wonderful as I did, then there was some serious MAGIC happening that evening ... and it wasn't in the movie!

*sigh* My soul ... my soul was so full ...

Sweet Dreams ...

Feeling the Crunch 'n' Munch

July 9, 2011 - 14:17


Mood: Irritated, but determined.
Music: May It Be - Enya
Thought for the Day: Co-operation from the Universe is a great thing, but shouldn't be depended on. Get your facts, Get things done, and keep your wits about you through it all!


Getting irritated with the facilities in this building. I'm seriously thinking of writing a letter. I don't know that I want to renew the lease when it comes up. I'm thinking a nice townhouse somewhere would be nice. Might go crazy living with Mom, but more space would make it all bearable.


Anyway, I wanted to have an open house for my Partylite next weekend. I had every intention of using the tenant Lounge. It's always open and it's free. At no time was I told that I could only use it during open office hours. While having the office closed DOES put a damper on getting people in from the outside of the building, I can work around that. Worse comes to worse, I just have the open house in the apartment. Less traffic, but easier access. This place is becoming so disappointing. So much potential and they are stifling it. I'm not the only tenant complaining either.


Anyway, the weather is certainly ruining my plans for my Mom's birthday. Will have to go with Plan B. I don't know that she will like it better, but we'll see. Maybe I'll just offer her a rain cheque.


I am covered in hives. Not sure from what. This is not improving my mood. So, summary ... I've got Jill visiting this week, I'm covered in hives, the building is irrational in it's policies ... and I've got a shift coming up. Do you want to check your hit points before or after I slap you? This is all probably playing merry havoc with my weight too. Grr ...


Not going to give up though. I will persevere! I will have this Open House! I will jump start my business and not let it fall to the side again! Roar!


Sweet Dreams!

Mr Sunshine ... Send Me a Dream

June 6, 2011 - 14:59

Mood: Blissful ... bordering on ecstatic
Music: Hey, Hey, We're the Monkees!
Thought of the Day: You can do anything ... when you are ready for it. (Or when it's ready for you.)

I wrote a poem today, as my hair dried in the sunshine. A POEM! ME! I think I'm on to something here ... I rarely write poetry. It's a bit rough and I have to go to work soon, so I may share it with you later. Or not ... maybe I'll use it for something else. :)

My only question is ... what will I do when winter comes again? LOL!

Until then, I think I will be happy like this. As long as I don't burn. :)

Sweet Dreams!

PS. SHORTEST UPDATE EVAR!! LOL!

True Blue

July 5, 2011 - 22:42

Mood: Pleasantly content (with periods of irritation ... stupid week 3)
Music: Angel - Sarah McLachlan
Thought for the Day: No matter where you go, what you are doing, or who you are with ... there you are. Whether, or not, that makes you happy is up to you.

The feeling of true peace can be found anywhere, and at any time of day. It's different for everybody. to me it's moments of contentment like that when I know that I am truly happy. It's moments like that which lead to things like this ...

The sky was so blue. That was the first thing that she noticed when she opened her eyes. She’d always wondered what ‘true blue’ was. She had thought it was one of those figures of speech that everybody over-used, because they’d forgotten what it really meant. But this was it, she decided. True blue ... framed beautifully along the edges of her vision by varying shades of green ... the occasional wisp of little clouds artfully placed within.

She blinked and became aware of other things. Cold, wet, sticky, discomfort, smells of wet fur and iron. She tried to move and the pain flared. She was laying in the mud along the side of the river, still half in the water from about her hips down.

Where was she?

She closed her eyes, and concentrated within. Her energy was so low ... How long had she been laying here? She thought her right leg may be broken. The cold water hid any other minor damages, which was just as well, she supposed. Her left arm, badly cracked, if not also broken, had long since dried the mud covering it. Her left shoulder was also damaged. Pierced. Arrow? Dagger? She couldn’t recall.

Something tickled her awareness and she cautiously extended her thoughts toward it. Her companion was laying not far from her. That explained the smell of wet fur. Hurt exhausted and deeply sleeping ... and something else. Something just a little further ... was that? ...

“Goddess, please be what I think that is,” she thought. Gathering what little energy she had left, she sent out a pulse, a plea, in the direction of her hope.

She opened her eyes, faintly feeling recognition ... and the blue sky turned black.

I haven't written anything original, other than this journal, in about two years ... maybe longer. this is how I know things are going right for me. This is how I know that I'm going to be whole and right again. 

I am amazed by the opportunities provided by this chapter piece. It could be the middle of a story, the prologue ... it could be a D&D type story ... or the beginning of my own HP or Twilight fame ... perhaps something along the lines of Witch and Wizard. That the amazing thing about this piece ... I have know idea who the character is, or who (or what) her companion is. The possibilities are endless. 

It's like I was sent something ... 

I'm home, Aunty Em ... I'm home!

Sweet Dreams!

PS. Got some really good pics tonight. I think. :) Used both cameras ... we'll see how I did.

Cleaning House

July 3, 2011 - 14:01

Mood: Saddened, but marching forward
Music: To Make You Feel My Love - Garth Brooks
Thought of the Day: They say the first step to getting help is to admit that you need it. I really should wait for people to say that they need it ... or expect it, at least.

Resolutions update ... How am I doing?

My 2011 Resolutions ...

1. To get a handle on my T-shirt addiction, and improve my wardrobe. I'm going to try and get away from the full time jeans/t-shirt look.
2. I'm going to be financially stable, if not comfortable. (Independently wealthy would be nice, but ... baby steps ... baby steps ...)
3. Lose weight/tone up/be a little healthier
4. Find Love. That Somebody who wants Me and wants me to want Him back.
5. Be Happy.

Hmm ... #1 ... haven't done much to improve it, but I've found the styles that I'm looking for. On the bright side, I haven't purchased a new T-shirt for myself in ages.
#2 ... I consider this to be basically achieved. I have savings in a couple accounts and my term deposit is coming along nicely. Looking forward to Yule this year. It's not as comfortable as I'd like, but I'm well on my way as long as my situation doesn't change for worse.
#3 ... Also well on my way. As reported earlier, I've lost inches. I'm happy with myself and look forward to seeing how much farther I can go.
#4 ... Still holding my breath ... Maybe?
#5 ... It comes and goes, but even in the low times, I recognise that I'm happier now than I have been over the past couple of years.

Overall Summary ... I'd like to see it progress further, but I consider this year's list to be a success. I haven't given up on any of them, but have seen some wonderful achievements within it. I'm very proud myself and look forward to taking these steps even further.

So why am I unhappy in the face of such positive motions? Part of it is the wicked mood swings ... Stupid pendulum. Part of it is that I'm wondering if Facebook is a good place for me. I've been told off/scolded once again for being me, in a way. I've been removing a lot of people on my Friend list lately too ... people that aren't a benefit to my life, people that I don't think I'm benefitting either. You know, the ones that add you and then you never really hear from them again. I've said that I don't want to be a statistic, a notch on somebody's post, and just there to make their list look bigger. I've let a few people slide on that, but it's time to 'clean house". In a way, I feel guilty, but I remind myself that it's just Facebook. Seriously. It's not the end all, be all, of social lives. Or, rather, it shouldn't be. Cutting back on my list keeps my ability to keep up with friends and family and stay somewhat active in their lives so much easier. Perhaps, in time, I will eventually get rid of it. I'm tired of people taking my comments out of context because they don't know me, they don't know how to read, or whatever their excuse is. It does very little for my PartyLite business. There are a few people that I use FB for to keep in contact, but, really, FB is taking over my life. I could use my time better. I could be writing.

So I'll be cutting back on the time that I spend there, I think. No more checking in at work, unless I need to send a message. Connection is slow as heck anyway. :) I'll use the laptop to watch movies, or to write a bit. I think there is a word processor on it ... LOL! Healthier ... Goes back to Resolution #3, even if that wasn't the interpretation I had intended, but it works. It's a good thing.

Here, on my journals entries, I don't have to worry so much about being myself, and saying what I think. But then, you've all been warned. At least, you have been if you have been with me for a while. As far as I know, I only have a couple readers ... I don't mind though. I'm here for me, really. These words are my thoughts, told from my point of view. My therapy. I've had people in the past get offended at my words and I have to remind them of the rules. If you don't know them, let me know and I will repeat them or direct you to the proper entry.

SNACK ATTACK!!

That's better. Still feeling a bit restless though. Maybe I'll go and work out a bit downstairs later, even though it's my day off from it. We'll see. I probably should, as my diet gets wonky when the groceries get low. I've been overdoing the grains and meats. I have to be a bit more watchful because I'm not visiting the nutritionist weekly anymore. This will be a two week stretch ... so I have to be a good girl, or it'll go back to weekly. Or I'll prove that I can't be trusted and go back to weekly. Still, I'm not sure how long this program is supposed to last, so I'll try to be a good girl and wean myself away from supervision. :) LOL!

I've been reading Jennifer Love Hewitt's book, The Day I Shot Cupid, and I'm enjoying it. She writes a lot like me, I think, and that gives me hope for my own ambitions.

Speaking of ambitions, I have things that I need to get done today. So ... off with me. :)

Sweet Dreams!

(Rolling credits ... Music: Good Ol' Boys - Waylon Jennings)