December 21, 2010 - 02:56
Event: Winter Solstice/Lunar Eclipse
Music: She's My Kind of Rain - Tim McGraw
Mood: Low enough to cry, but not depressed into immobility
Been an odd day today. Not sure if i would blame hormones or not. Probably just lonely. Lonely for my own space with my own things. Lonely for strong arms, and whispered loving words. Lingering kisses ... and hearing that special some one breathe deeply in sleep beside me.
I've got things pretty good here and I know it - which makes me even more depressed because then I feel guilty. I've been living out of my suitcase for over a year now. When I wasn't living in somebody else's home, I was scratching a sparse life with things that I couldn't even keep. I'm ready to go home.
I just have to find it.
Things are going well at work. Lots of hours pouring in which will make finding my home that much simpler, but it will still take a while. I have a couple more debts to pay off ... I have to consider new debts/bills and food in addition to rent, etc. I have to consider that PartyLite isn't going to make my life easier any time soon ... but I know that I will not give up on it because I love it.
I don't give up on anything that I love. Ever.
Let that be a lesson to me.
There's a strangeness in the air tonight ... another reason to wish for my own space. It's been a while since I felt this and I wish I was alone to explore it a bit. There's an energy ... a slumbering power with a light humming breath. I wish to immerse myself within it. It Calls to Me.
Sweet Dreams ...
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Thursday, December 16, 2010
I Can Only Shake My Head
December 16, 2010 - 14:40
It's quite the mish-mash of 'easy' and 'struggle' since I came back home again. Frankly, the 'struggle' is increasing. Damn retrograde. I can't totally blame the retrograde though ... things were getting silly even before it came about ... and got fixed while in it. That's unusual and I wonder if any good will come out of it.
My biggest struggle has been with my own business. I've never had so much trouble with PartyLite before. Bad enough that I got screwed over by my bank on the island and am now on a Money-order Status with PartyLite (which I bypass by using my own credit card) but it's taken me about a month to get my party settled ... from November!! Lavender had done such a wonderful job getting that party together, and has been so good about it all, including dealing with her friends who are wondering where there orders are. Thankfully, some have shown up ... but there are some that are going to be close. I find this especially embarrassing because I kept telling everybody that I've never had a problem with PartyLite before. Well, SOMEBODY dropped the ball in this case. I hope that things get out on time. I've been putting the word out to the Universe.
More bad news. I talked with PartyLite this afternoon and I was finally told why my website is still down. And that it won't be up again until February 16th, 2011. I'm missing out on cybersale #4 right now. I'm sure that I'll be missing out on at least three, or more, by the time I get it back. Busiest time of year, and the best chance to get orders ... and my site is down. All because my bank screwed around with my account.
I should sue HSBC for these losses ... probably cost me more than I would win though. So, instead, I'm spreading the word. Avoid HSBC. They have not only screwed me, while charging top dollar to do it, they caused problems for my mother as well. I'm sticking with the credit unions ... thanks.
There's more than this ... but these have been my top concerns for th past while.
Good news. Yes, there is some in here somewhere.
I managed to get my Term Deposit started so that I'll be all set for next year. My 'Master Plan' is in motion once more. Every two weeks, $50 will come out of my account ... by this time next year, it will mature, I'll have $600 in my savings, and the remaining $600 + interest will be re-invested to start all over again. It's a slow way to get rich, but it seems a bit more reliable than the lottery.
I'm still living with Mercury and Harem ... and Spot is still getting on well with the kitties here, although one tries to bully him now and then. (I think he's jealous.) We're hoping to have our own place soon. Maybe January. Probably February. There are things that I need to replace in order to have my new world perfected. For one, I need a bed. For another, yet another kitty litter tray. Litter ... food ... and a couch. For the most part, I have everything else that I need.
I miss my things. Oh, how I miss my things. Each one is special to me ...
Well, time to get ready for work ...
Sweet Dreams!
It's quite the mish-mash of 'easy' and 'struggle' since I came back home again. Frankly, the 'struggle' is increasing. Damn retrograde. I can't totally blame the retrograde though ... things were getting silly even before it came about ... and got fixed while in it. That's unusual and I wonder if any good will come out of it.
My biggest struggle has been with my own business. I've never had so much trouble with PartyLite before. Bad enough that I got screwed over by my bank on the island and am now on a Money-order Status with PartyLite (which I bypass by using my own credit card) but it's taken me about a month to get my party settled ... from November!! Lavender had done such a wonderful job getting that party together, and has been so good about it all, including dealing with her friends who are wondering where there orders are. Thankfully, some have shown up ... but there are some that are going to be close. I find this especially embarrassing because I kept telling everybody that I've never had a problem with PartyLite before. Well, SOMEBODY dropped the ball in this case. I hope that things get out on time. I've been putting the word out to the Universe.
More bad news. I talked with PartyLite this afternoon and I was finally told why my website is still down. And that it won't be up again until February 16th, 2011. I'm missing out on cybersale #4 right now. I'm sure that I'll be missing out on at least three, or more, by the time I get it back. Busiest time of year, and the best chance to get orders ... and my site is down. All because my bank screwed around with my account.
I should sue HSBC for these losses ... probably cost me more than I would win though. So, instead, I'm spreading the word. Avoid HSBC. They have not only screwed me, while charging top dollar to do it, they caused problems for my mother as well. I'm sticking with the credit unions ... thanks.
There's more than this ... but these have been my top concerns for th past while.
Good news. Yes, there is some in here somewhere.
I managed to get my Term Deposit started so that I'll be all set for next year. My 'Master Plan' is in motion once more. Every two weeks, $50 will come out of my account ... by this time next year, it will mature, I'll have $600 in my savings, and the remaining $600 + interest will be re-invested to start all over again. It's a slow way to get rich, but it seems a bit more reliable than the lottery.
I'm still living with Mercury and Harem ... and Spot is still getting on well with the kitties here, although one tries to bully him now and then. (I think he's jealous.) We're hoping to have our own place soon. Maybe January. Probably February. There are things that I need to replace in order to have my new world perfected. For one, I need a bed. For another, yet another kitty litter tray. Litter ... food ... and a couch. For the most part, I have everything else that I need.
I miss my things. Oh, how I miss my things. Each one is special to me ...
Well, time to get ready for work ...
Sweet Dreams!
Sunday, December 05, 2010
Just a Little Quickie ...
December 5, 2010 - 15:00
Feeling a bit of tension at "home". I'm really keen to get my own place, but I don't want to dive out of here so quickly that I jump without being ready to land. I'm just going to take things one day at a time and try to be calm and patient.
But, oh, I miss my things ... and my privacy. Granted, my roomies do their best, but I don't have that personal space unless they go somewhere without me ... or lock themselves in their room for a few hours. :) I'm a private person, and I have a certain way of doing things ... and I'm trying very hard not to impress my way on them. It's not my place.
November was a roller coaster month ... I came back to Alberta and was welcomed with joyous open arms. Spot and I have settled in and found our place amongst the others who are sharing their space with us. Took a couple weeks, but my old job finally came around and re-hired me ... on my happy first day at work, November 18, my Dad, Albert, passed. He had a very exhausting couple of years, and the last was worse than the rest. I hope he's found his peace, at last.
The memorial ... a Celebration of his Life ... was a wonderful time. Lots of laughing, lots of tears, and lots of memories. A lot of people who didn't get a chance to say good-bye.
In other news, my mother is making plans to get everything settled for herself ... and if I haven't gone insane by then, we'll find a place together. I think though, that she should stay with her sister for a long while and rest. We'll see.
On the bright side, I had an EXCELLENT PartyLite Party at Lavendar's ... she really is one of my best friends. She went all out and gave me my best party ever ... together, we reached over $1200 in sales. You SO have a train ticket coming to you, Lav. My thanks to my friends who pitched in what they could. I hope you'll book your own parties and get some free stuff for yourselves. ;)
Other good news ... my "day" job had a contest for the month of November. I didn't think too much of it because I came in on the 18th ... but you had to push 6 packs of Pepsi as you took orders ... and it would be judged by the # you sold per hour you worked. This could have been an advantage, but there were some who worked less hours than me, even. I got SECOND PLACE!! This equals a prize of $100 and a case of Pepsi product! WHOO! HOO! Thank you, Universe! Keep it coming!
I have to go to work now. Will try to write later!
Sweet Dreams!
Feeling a bit of tension at "home". I'm really keen to get my own place, but I don't want to dive out of here so quickly that I jump without being ready to land. I'm just going to take things one day at a time and try to be calm and patient.
But, oh, I miss my things ... and my privacy. Granted, my roomies do their best, but I don't have that personal space unless they go somewhere without me ... or lock themselves in their room for a few hours. :) I'm a private person, and I have a certain way of doing things ... and I'm trying very hard not to impress my way on them. It's not my place.
November was a roller coaster month ... I came back to Alberta and was welcomed with joyous open arms. Spot and I have settled in and found our place amongst the others who are sharing their space with us. Took a couple weeks, but my old job finally came around and re-hired me ... on my happy first day at work, November 18, my Dad, Albert, passed. He had a very exhausting couple of years, and the last was worse than the rest. I hope he's found his peace, at last.
The memorial ... a Celebration of his Life ... was a wonderful time. Lots of laughing, lots of tears, and lots of memories. A lot of people who didn't get a chance to say good-bye.
In other news, my mother is making plans to get everything settled for herself ... and if I haven't gone insane by then, we'll find a place together. I think though, that she should stay with her sister for a long while and rest. We'll see.
On the bright side, I had an EXCELLENT PartyLite Party at Lavendar's ... she really is one of my best friends. She went all out and gave me my best party ever ... together, we reached over $1200 in sales. You SO have a train ticket coming to you, Lav. My thanks to my friends who pitched in what they could. I hope you'll book your own parties and get some free stuff for yourselves. ;)
Other good news ... my "day" job had a contest for the month of November. I didn't think too much of it because I came in on the 18th ... but you had to push 6 packs of Pepsi as you took orders ... and it would be judged by the # you sold per hour you worked. This could have been an advantage, but there were some who worked less hours than me, even. I got SECOND PLACE!! This equals a prize of $100 and a case of Pepsi product! WHOO! HOO! Thank you, Universe! Keep it coming!
I have to go to work now. Will try to write later!
Sweet Dreams!
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Home Sweet Home ... Almost
November 14, 2010 - 14:29
I've finished cleaning the apartment as much as I can. There are a few things that I won't do, because, well, it's not my place. This is how things work for them, so that's how I'll leave it. I'm enjoying myself with what I've decided that I can do, so I don't need to do more. Yet. LOL! I keep catching myself doing more though ... started off doing the kitty litter once in a while. Fair's fair, right? My cat uses it too. Then I started to do the dishes in the dishwasher. Discovered that the dishwasher sucks ... and have been doing it all by hand instead. Also been organizing the recycles, and picking up garbage. Today I swept the floor and vacuumed the carpet.
And I'm happy doing this. Why?!? I'm not sure. Maybe I'm just happy. I certainly have better energy since I came back to the city. The extra cleaning activities must be because I was finally re-hired at my old job here. I start on Thursday. :) Yeah, that's it. It's not because I'm a little restless and trying to not sit tat the computer all day. Yeah.
Don't get any bright ideas, my friends ... I'm not doing this for free. If you want me to come over and clean your place, I'll be invoicing you. $20/hr.
YAY! I'll have a paycheque coming in ... and it'll be part-time so I'll still be collecting EI (when it finally gets around to paying me. If it's going to pay me.)
Going to have my website up and running soon with PartyLite too. I can't believe that I let that account charge go for that long. That's not like me at all. And now, here I am, stuck trying to sell enough to earn a new kit, with no catalogs (I SWEAR I packed them ...) and no website for online orders. Geez! I'll never do it again.
Anyway, just had to pass on the good news about the job ... It's got me singing at at least! My own place is suddenly with reach!!
Harem and Mercury are going to miss their cleaning lady ... :)
Sweet Dreams!
PS. Greywhistle ... I'm shocked. No invites to play. *sigh*
I've finished cleaning the apartment as much as I can. There are a few things that I won't do, because, well, it's not my place. This is how things work for them, so that's how I'll leave it. I'm enjoying myself with what I've decided that I can do, so I don't need to do more. Yet. LOL! I keep catching myself doing more though ... started off doing the kitty litter once in a while. Fair's fair, right? My cat uses it too. Then I started to do the dishes in the dishwasher. Discovered that the dishwasher sucks ... and have been doing it all by hand instead. Also been organizing the recycles, and picking up garbage. Today I swept the floor and vacuumed the carpet.
And I'm happy doing this. Why?!? I'm not sure. Maybe I'm just happy. I certainly have better energy since I came back to the city. The extra cleaning activities must be because I was finally re-hired at my old job here. I start on Thursday. :) Yeah, that's it. It's not because I'm a little restless and trying to not sit tat the computer all day. Yeah.
Don't get any bright ideas, my friends ... I'm not doing this for free. If you want me to come over and clean your place, I'll be invoicing you. $20/hr.
YAY! I'll have a paycheque coming in ... and it'll be part-time so I'll still be collecting EI (when it finally gets around to paying me. If it's going to pay me.)
Going to have my website up and running soon with PartyLite too. I can't believe that I let that account charge go for that long. That's not like me at all. And now, here I am, stuck trying to sell enough to earn a new kit, with no catalogs (I SWEAR I packed them ...) and no website for online orders. Geez! I'll never do it again.
Anyway, just had to pass on the good news about the job ... It's got me singing at at least! My own place is suddenly with reach!!
Harem and Mercury are going to miss their cleaning lady ... :)
Sweet Dreams!
PS. Greywhistle ... I'm shocked. No invites to play. *sigh*
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Lest We Forget ...
November 11, 2010 - 09:12
Love, sweet dreams!
Lo, the beams of the light Fairy moon kissed the streams,
Love, Goodnight!
Ah so soon!
Peaceful dreams!
Josef Pasternack's popular version of Taps
I really like this version. It's sweet and wistful ... Of course, the words that come to my mind when I hear the fateful tune is usually the traditional version by Horace Lorenzo Trim.
Fading light dims the sight
And a star gems the sky, gleaming bright
From afar drawing nigh,
Falls the night.
Day is done, gone the sun
From the lakes, from the hills, from the skies
All is well, safely rest;
God is nigh.
Then goodnight, peaceful night;
Till the light of the dawn shineth bright.
God is near, do not fear,
Friend, goodnight.
I'll be doing my own thing today, although it makes me a bit sad to know that if I was still on Pender, I'd be preparing to kilt up for the Ceremony at the Legion. Next Tuesday, I'll be joining up with a new group to practice with. I hope I enjoy it as much ... I'll be learning Tenor properly and I'm sure that I'll be bored, but also a bit more confident and professional looking.
It'll get me out of the house occasionally too. ;)
Sweet Dreams!
Love, sweet dreams!
Lo, the beams of the light Fairy moon kissed the streams,
Love, Goodnight!
Ah so soon!
Peaceful dreams!
Josef Pasternack's popular version of Taps
I really like this version. It's sweet and wistful ... Of course, the words that come to my mind when I hear the fateful tune is usually the traditional version by Horace Lorenzo Trim.
Fading light dims the sight
And a star gems the sky, gleaming bright
From afar drawing nigh,
Falls the night.
Day is done, gone the sun
From the lakes, from the hills, from the skies
All is well, safely rest;
God is nigh.
Then goodnight, peaceful night;
Till the light of the dawn shineth bright.
God is near, do not fear,
Friend, goodnight.
I'll be doing my own thing today, although it makes me a bit sad to know that if I was still on Pender, I'd be preparing to kilt up for the Ceremony at the Legion. Next Tuesday, I'll be joining up with a new group to practice with. I hope I enjoy it as much ... I'll be learning Tenor properly and I'm sure that I'll be bored, but also a bit more confident and professional looking.
It'll get me out of the house occasionally too. ;)
Sweet Dreams!
Tuesday, November 09, 2010
Moving Forward ... Aaaaand Action!
November 9, 2010 - 19:22
Belly full, hair brushed, and teeth cleaned ... I am ready to write to you. :) Not sure what I'm going to say, but I'm ready.
Harem and Mercury have gone out to a meeting, so I have the place to myself for a couple hours. I think I'm going to work out a schedule for myself instead of wandering aimlessly during the day. Do exercises in the morning, and some cleaning in the afternoon (or in the evening when they've stepped out.) I'm trying to be helpful without being interfering or annoying. So, I'm avoiding re-organizing. :) Although, I really want to!
Wanting to is a good sign, actually ... proves that I'm feeling better. Getting happier. I'm once again expressing some interest in the world and it's inhabitants ... the one outside my little unbreakable bubble.
This could be because I'm home and on familiar territory ... and among friends. It may also be because I made a decision about the drama still going on at my old place on Pender. There are too many details to share, but let me "sum up". Landlords were apparently irritated with my notes. They felt that I should have phoned instead. Maybe, but I don't know that leaving a message on the machine, as opposed to leaving a note on the door, would have helped much since they admit that they were away for days at a time. And I fail to see why it should matter since I've been asking to talk with them for two months. They never made any effort to contact me or respond to the notes at all. So, yeah, maybe I should have phoned, but anybody who knows me knows that the outbound phone call isn't exactly in the comfort zone, so I avoid it when I can. Anyway, my friends bailed on me ... they claimed that I asked too much of them and decided to just not bother to help anymore. They told me this about three days after I left, thinking that everything was taken care of. Too late to do anything about it. (I asked them to do two things for me. Pick up my things that I couldn't lose, and take the trash to the bin. I even offered to pay for the garbage disposal.) Well, apparently my "save pile" was too big (I didn't think so, compared to what I took) and they took some of it and dumped the rest in the car port for my cousin to take. Apparently, he did, so I can recover some of it. My friend DID go to pick up my scooter, but the landlord had confiscated it as the only item of real value and wouldn't let them take it. They said they would be charging me a storage fee for the theft too. This can't be legal ... that's what the deposit is for.
I owe them $225 from September's rent. The Damage deposit is $450. Of the remaining $225, they intend to charge me storage and garbage disposal (from the garbage pick up - the most expensive and wasteful means of getting rid of items on the island, since most will recycle the items through re-sell or free outlets) So I'm thinking that they have no intention of giving me back my deposit. the scooter they stole is not of any real value to me, really, since it needs a spark plug, a new battery, and new rear tire tube. My friends already have the keys and the helmet, so what value they think it is, well ...
So, I've decided that what little I might get back from them is not worth the stress and the resulting health problems. There's not too much that I can do from here except nag at my cousin to pick up the remaining items. That trailer is in better shape than when I moved in. Much better shape ... considering that anything that needed to fixed still needs to be fixed. I do not claim that I'm a perfect angel, or a totally innocent victim; I know I certainly made a few mistakes ... but I was alone and very limited in what I could do. If they had bothered to respond to any of my notes, we might have worked something out.
So, I wash my hands of everything on Pender. I will not fight for a lost cause and drag myself down over the dramatic attitude. If they release the scooter, great. I will try to sell it, if not, well, they can keep it.
I still have to pay Mom back for it, but I'm willing to bite that and get on with my life. I'm not chained to the damn thing.
Moving on ...
No response yet from anybody I've sent a resume to. I still have hope though. Lavender is going to host a PartyLite party for me and I hope to make it spectacular. That will be a good start and I'm really hoping to take my PartyLite farther than I did before. I used to treat it as a side hobby ... now I feel like I have the drive to make a proper business with it. It's unfortunate that my PartyLite was stranded on Pender, but I admit that it wasn't exactly current. I've put the call out to my unit leader for help ... either a few items on loan, or the chance to earn a new kit. I am contemplating e-bay for my older items as well, but I'm not sure about that yet. It's kind of against the rules. The older things may just have to wait until I get my own place and have an open house.
Ah ... my own place. Just me and Spot ... and anybody who wishes to drop by to visit ...
Sweet Dreams
Belly full, hair brushed, and teeth cleaned ... I am ready to write to you. :) Not sure what I'm going to say, but I'm ready.
Harem and Mercury have gone out to a meeting, so I have the place to myself for a couple hours. I think I'm going to work out a schedule for myself instead of wandering aimlessly during the day. Do exercises in the morning, and some cleaning in the afternoon (or in the evening when they've stepped out.) I'm trying to be helpful without being interfering or annoying. So, I'm avoiding re-organizing. :) Although, I really want to!
Wanting to is a good sign, actually ... proves that I'm feeling better. Getting happier. I'm once again expressing some interest in the world and it's inhabitants ... the one outside my little unbreakable bubble.
This could be because I'm home and on familiar territory ... and among friends. It may also be because I made a decision about the drama still going on at my old place on Pender. There are too many details to share, but let me "sum up". Landlords were apparently irritated with my notes. They felt that I should have phoned instead. Maybe, but I don't know that leaving a message on the machine, as opposed to leaving a note on the door, would have helped much since they admit that they were away for days at a time. And I fail to see why it should matter since I've been asking to talk with them for two months. They never made any effort to contact me or respond to the notes at all. So, yeah, maybe I should have phoned, but anybody who knows me knows that the outbound phone call isn't exactly in the comfort zone, so I avoid it when I can. Anyway, my friends bailed on me ... they claimed that I asked too much of them and decided to just not bother to help anymore. They told me this about three days after I left, thinking that everything was taken care of. Too late to do anything about it. (I asked them to do two things for me. Pick up my things that I couldn't lose, and take the trash to the bin. I even offered to pay for the garbage disposal.) Well, apparently my "save pile" was too big (I didn't think so, compared to what I took) and they took some of it and dumped the rest in the car port for my cousin to take. Apparently, he did, so I can recover some of it. My friend DID go to pick up my scooter, but the landlord had confiscated it as the only item of real value and wouldn't let them take it. They said they would be charging me a storage fee for the theft too. This can't be legal ... that's what the deposit is for.
I owe them $225 from September's rent. The Damage deposit is $450. Of the remaining $225, they intend to charge me storage and garbage disposal (from the garbage pick up - the most expensive and wasteful means of getting rid of items on the island, since most will recycle the items through re-sell or free outlets) So I'm thinking that they have no intention of giving me back my deposit. the scooter they stole is not of any real value to me, really, since it needs a spark plug, a new battery, and new rear tire tube. My friends already have the keys and the helmet, so what value they think it is, well ...
So, I've decided that what little I might get back from them is not worth the stress and the resulting health problems. There's not too much that I can do from here except nag at my cousin to pick up the remaining items. That trailer is in better shape than when I moved in. Much better shape ... considering that anything that needed to fixed still needs to be fixed. I do not claim that I'm a perfect angel, or a totally innocent victim; I know I certainly made a few mistakes ... but I was alone and very limited in what I could do. If they had bothered to respond to any of my notes, we might have worked something out.
So, I wash my hands of everything on Pender. I will not fight for a lost cause and drag myself down over the dramatic attitude. If they release the scooter, great. I will try to sell it, if not, well, they can keep it.
I still have to pay Mom back for it, but I'm willing to bite that and get on with my life. I'm not chained to the damn thing.
Moving on ...
No response yet from anybody I've sent a resume to. I still have hope though. Lavender is going to host a PartyLite party for me and I hope to make it spectacular. That will be a good start and I'm really hoping to take my PartyLite farther than I did before. I used to treat it as a side hobby ... now I feel like I have the drive to make a proper business with it. It's unfortunate that my PartyLite was stranded on Pender, but I admit that it wasn't exactly current. I've put the call out to my unit leader for help ... either a few items on loan, or the chance to earn a new kit. I am contemplating e-bay for my older items as well, but I'm not sure about that yet. It's kind of against the rules. The older things may just have to wait until I get my own place and have an open house.
Ah ... my own place. Just me and Spot ... and anybody who wishes to drop by to visit ...
Sweet Dreams
Saturday, November 06, 2010
There's No Place Like Home ...
(aka Wish I Was There ...)
November 6, 2010 - 10:28
Change your clocks tonight!
It has been a tumultuous week for me - Emotionally, Financially, and Physically. Okay. it's been a rough FEW weeks ... but I think things are going to get better now. At the very least, they shouldn't get worse. While I know that thye CAN get worse (never fool yourself into thinking that things can't get worse!!), I think the Fates are finished taunting me for now. There are only so many challenges that one can face before they break, and while the Fates like to complicate things, they aren't generally in the habit of breaking people. They throw challenges at you to make you grow - it's up to you to make it happen ... or not.
Forgive any typoes that may sneak in. I'm typing with my keyboard on my lap.
So, I'm all settled in at my friend's place downtown, and trying to get some job hunting done. Had to fix my e-mail first though. Still not completely repaired, but I finally re-activated it. Now just have to get Outlook working ... not sure how to adjust that though. Oh, well. It'll happen.
The only worse than moving within a short period of time, is trying to do it by yourself. It was definitely a set back that a vehicle was not available for me to rent and come home. Packing would have been easier and Spot would have been happier. I had to leave so much behind ... Some of it were items that pained me to give away or leave behind, but I did it. Had a small pile that my friends were supposed to grab for me to ship out later ... but they bailed. I was horrified. Got a small note today that said the items may be rescued after all. Still need a job to pay for them to come out ... Hope I can afford it.
The train ride out was fantastic! Hard to sleep on, but fantastic all the same. I didn't take a lot of pictures, because the scenery was either in the dark, or in an area that I was already familiar with. Keep in mind that hte earlier you book a train, the lower the cost ... Unfortunate that my decision was so last minute. The people were great, and Spot was well cared for, although I think he was very unhappy to be in the baggage car. Still, the steward fo rmy car checked on him as I slept, throwing a blanket over the cage to help him retai heat and turning the heater on in the car too. As I didn't have a watch, he would periodically come and ask if I'd like to check on him (Spot). It was great! And the other travellers were so hilarious! You'd never know we were all strangers the way we treated each other. I'd ride a train again, if the chance came up ...
I'm very much looking forward to seeing all my friends again ... and working PartyLite and going to meetings. And finding a job that will let me get my own place. I'm sure Mercury and Harem would like their living room back. Harem is already "chafing" because he can't walk to the bathroom naked in the morning. Heh.
Sweet Dreams!
November 6, 2010 - 10:28
Change your clocks tonight!
It has been a tumultuous week for me - Emotionally, Financially, and Physically. Okay. it's been a rough FEW weeks ... but I think things are going to get better now. At the very least, they shouldn't get worse. While I know that thye CAN get worse (never fool yourself into thinking that things can't get worse!!), I think the Fates are finished taunting me for now. There are only so many challenges that one can face before they break, and while the Fates like to complicate things, they aren't generally in the habit of breaking people. They throw challenges at you to make you grow - it's up to you to make it happen ... or not.
Forgive any typoes that may sneak in. I'm typing with my keyboard on my lap.
So, I'm all settled in at my friend's place downtown, and trying to get some job hunting done. Had to fix my e-mail first though. Still not completely repaired, but I finally re-activated it. Now just have to get Outlook working ... not sure how to adjust that though. Oh, well. It'll happen.
The only worse than moving within a short period of time, is trying to do it by yourself. It was definitely a set back that a vehicle was not available for me to rent and come home. Packing would have been easier and Spot would have been happier. I had to leave so much behind ... Some of it were items that pained me to give away or leave behind, but I did it. Had a small pile that my friends were supposed to grab for me to ship out later ... but they bailed. I was horrified. Got a small note today that said the items may be rescued after all. Still need a job to pay for them to come out ... Hope I can afford it.
The train ride out was fantastic! Hard to sleep on, but fantastic all the same. I didn't take a lot of pictures, because the scenery was either in the dark, or in an area that I was already familiar with. Keep in mind that hte earlier you book a train, the lower the cost ... Unfortunate that my decision was so last minute. The people were great, and Spot was well cared for, although I think he was very unhappy to be in the baggage car. Still, the steward fo rmy car checked on him as I slept, throwing a blanket over the cage to help him retai heat and turning the heater on in the car too. As I didn't have a watch, he would periodically come and ask if I'd like to check on him (Spot). It was great! And the other travellers were so hilarious! You'd never know we were all strangers the way we treated each other. I'd ride a train again, if the chance came up ...
I'm very much looking forward to seeing all my friends again ... and working PartyLite and going to meetings. And finding a job that will let me get my own place. I'm sure Mercury and Harem would like their living room back. Harem is already "chafing" because he can't walk to the bathroom naked in the morning. Heh.
Sweet Dreams!
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Writing a Bad Romance
October 19, 2010 - 20:28
I've tried to start writing several times now today. I'm lacking some serious motivation though. Being depressed sucks. Going to push through it though. And when I am done here, I'm going to go watch a movie. And I'm going to make a list to organise what needs to be done this week to get me ready to move.
*sigh* Moving again. GAH! I'd move back to Edmonton just to escape the gypsy-ness. If I come back, I'm going to own a camper or RV or something!
Felt well enough today to get some tidying up done, dishes washed, and I actually made a meal for supper instead of throwing something quick together. I think I only had a bag of chips, off and on, yesterday. Bad me.
I am still badly horrified by my brother's actions, and I won't be able to put those feelings behind me until I get my things away from him. Once my things are safe, I will block him away from me completely.
In the meantime, I have been handing out my resume on the island, on Vancouver Island, and in Edmonton. Hopefully somebody gets back to me soon. I have just enough money to get me back to Edmonton ... but I don't have a place to stay. Even if I get a job. Still, I'm not going to let myself fret about that just yet. If I get a job in Edmonton, then I will put the word out to friends and family and see what comes up. Meanwhile, I wait for the dice to roll ...
In other news, I'm thumbing rides again. My scooter is down with a bad case of flat tire. I have to figure out how to get it off so that I can get it fixed. Thankfully, it won't cost too much ... I hope.
My mother couldn't spare me a day or two to visit on Thanksgiving. But she just arrived in Edmonton to visit ... for two weeks. And she's trying to tell me that they (she and Albert) won't be coming back to the island because of ferry costs. Apparently, they have to go to the hospital for a check up once a month. What? I wish my mother would stop trying to play mind games with me. She sucks at it. Especially when she's stressed.
I feel for her. I really do. But I'm supposed to be here for her - to help with things. Granted, this didn't work out the way we had hoped, but I'm feeling a bit abused and abandonned here. I have a few friends, and (when they remember) a bit of family, and I'm still a Highlander ... but there are no strong ties holding to Pender. I'd rather come home, get things settled and saved, and solid ... then decide where to go from there.
I am ready to come home. I just wish that I knew where it was.
Sweet Dreams!
I've tried to start writing several times now today. I'm lacking some serious motivation though. Being depressed sucks. Going to push through it though. And when I am done here, I'm going to go watch a movie. And I'm going to make a list to organise what needs to be done this week to get me ready to move.
*sigh* Moving again. GAH! I'd move back to Edmonton just to escape the gypsy-ness. If I come back, I'm going to own a camper or RV or something!
Felt well enough today to get some tidying up done, dishes washed, and I actually made a meal for supper instead of throwing something quick together. I think I only had a bag of chips, off and on, yesterday. Bad me.
I am still badly horrified by my brother's actions, and I won't be able to put those feelings behind me until I get my things away from him. Once my things are safe, I will block him away from me completely.
In the meantime, I have been handing out my resume on the island, on Vancouver Island, and in Edmonton. Hopefully somebody gets back to me soon. I have just enough money to get me back to Edmonton ... but I don't have a place to stay. Even if I get a job. Still, I'm not going to let myself fret about that just yet. If I get a job in Edmonton, then I will put the word out to friends and family and see what comes up. Meanwhile, I wait for the dice to roll ...
In other news, I'm thumbing rides again. My scooter is down with a bad case of flat tire. I have to figure out how to get it off so that I can get it fixed. Thankfully, it won't cost too much ... I hope.
My mother couldn't spare me a day or two to visit on Thanksgiving. But she just arrived in Edmonton to visit ... for two weeks. And she's trying to tell me that they (she and Albert) won't be coming back to the island because of ferry costs. Apparently, they have to go to the hospital for a check up once a month. What? I wish my mother would stop trying to play mind games with me. She sucks at it. Especially when she's stressed.
I feel for her. I really do. But I'm supposed to be here for her - to help with things. Granted, this didn't work out the way we had hoped, but I'm feeling a bit abused and abandonned here. I have a few friends, and (when they remember) a bit of family, and I'm still a Highlander ... but there are no strong ties holding to Pender. I'd rather come home, get things settled and saved, and solid ... then decide where to go from there.
I am ready to come home. I just wish that I knew where it was.
Sweet Dreams!
Wednesday, October 06, 2010
Speak of the Devil ...
(aka - Ask ... And The Aliens Will Think About It!)
October 6, 2010 - 21:30
Wonder Woman bracelets .. LOL! Thank you, Sandee!
Lavendar, I miss you, and our outings. Hope you get a chance to visit sometime soon!
I'm feeling a bit better, but the issue itself has not eased yet. I still have no clue about what has happened to my things. A good friend has offered to help me get a truck ... You're still my hero, Green Man! And I have high hopes for that solution. I have also brought the subject up with my boss in hopes of borrowing one of the trucks from work. That may be tougher than it sounds, but it's not impossible. Still, GM's offer is the better of the two. Just waiting to hear ...
Little bits and pieces of things going on ... and some news that I'm sure I've missed. Just getting my head back together and then will sit down for a long 'talk' with you ...
Sweet Dreams!
October 6, 2010 - 21:30
Wonder Woman bracelets .. LOL! Thank you, Sandee!
Lavendar, I miss you, and our outings. Hope you get a chance to visit sometime soon!
I'm feeling a bit better, but the issue itself has not eased yet. I still have no clue about what has happened to my things. A good friend has offered to help me get a truck ... You're still my hero, Green Man! And I have high hopes for that solution. I have also brought the subject up with my boss in hopes of borrowing one of the trucks from work. That may be tougher than it sounds, but it's not impossible. Still, GM's offer is the better of the two. Just waiting to hear ...
Little bits and pieces of things going on ... and some news that I'm sure I've missed. Just getting my head back together and then will sit down for a long 'talk' with you ...
Sweet Dreams!
Friday, October 01, 2010
Changelings, Demons and Nightmares
October 1, 2010 - 20:46
I had meant to write earlier, but I went through a bit of traumatic family drama recently and everything kinda fell though the floor. I haven't been sleeping well for days ...
I'm pretty sure that I wrote about how my mother had talked my brother into storing my stuff for me at his new place. Well, there's been trouble. Michael had decided that he was going to use my stuff ... and he wasn't going to give it back. He also declared that I had until March 26 to come and get it ... or he was going to toss it all in the dumpster.
What?
I tried to reason with him. Adult to adult. But ... there was no bargaining with him. His only reply was that I should come and get it NOW then, or it's all going in the dumpster. He was still going to keep what he wanted and sell what he could and keep the cash too.
I tried one more time to ask him to be reasonable ... Pender in winter is difficult on the bank account even if I had money to back me up. I don't. He replied quite promptly ...
He told me that he wanted me to die in a fire.
I went into shock. I knew that my brother didn't like me much, but I didn't know that he hated me. I cried for two days, sudden bursts that freaked out the pets. Mom was little help. When my brother has temper tantrums like this, she gets lost and backs down.
Negative reactions like this is why I didn't want to ask him to help in the first place. Mom went ahead and asked him anyway ... and this is what happened. I was better off trying to raise the money every month. I have things that can't be replaced ... and yes, he's saving me from paying $150/month, but he's costing me thousands to replace what he's stealing from me. I don't even know what he's stealing!!
I will never get an apology from either of them for the pain and suffering that I went through. Am still going through. My friend at work is getting freaked by my stress level. I hadn't thought that it was that noticeable, but he's proven before that he's very observant.
It still runs through my head in circles at times ... My brother wants me dead. My brother wants me dead. I have to force myself to think of other things. I have a bit of a plot to help me get my things, but I'm afraid that the main part of the solution won't co-operate. Will have to find the guts to ask him soon though ... Driving through the mountains in October is not fun! Trust me, I know!!
My brother, the terrorist. My brother wants me dead.
I need a hero.
Sweet Dreams ... where art thou?
I had meant to write earlier, but I went through a bit of traumatic family drama recently and everything kinda fell though the floor. I haven't been sleeping well for days ...
I'm pretty sure that I wrote about how my mother had talked my brother into storing my stuff for me at his new place. Well, there's been trouble. Michael had decided that he was going to use my stuff ... and he wasn't going to give it back. He also declared that I had until March 26 to come and get it ... or he was going to toss it all in the dumpster.
What?
I tried to reason with him. Adult to adult. But ... there was no bargaining with him. His only reply was that I should come and get it NOW then, or it's all going in the dumpster. He was still going to keep what he wanted and sell what he could and keep the cash too.
I tried one more time to ask him to be reasonable ... Pender in winter is difficult on the bank account even if I had money to back me up. I don't. He replied quite promptly ...
He told me that he wanted me to die in a fire.
I went into shock. I knew that my brother didn't like me much, but I didn't know that he hated me. I cried for two days, sudden bursts that freaked out the pets. Mom was little help. When my brother has temper tantrums like this, she gets lost and backs down.
Negative reactions like this is why I didn't want to ask him to help in the first place. Mom went ahead and asked him anyway ... and this is what happened. I was better off trying to raise the money every month. I have things that can't be replaced ... and yes, he's saving me from paying $150/month, but he's costing me thousands to replace what he's stealing from me. I don't even know what he's stealing!!
I will never get an apology from either of them for the pain and suffering that I went through. Am still going through. My friend at work is getting freaked by my stress level. I hadn't thought that it was that noticeable, but he's proven before that he's very observant.
It still runs through my head in circles at times ... My brother wants me dead. My brother wants me dead. I have to force myself to think of other things. I have a bit of a plot to help me get my things, but I'm afraid that the main part of the solution won't co-operate. Will have to find the guts to ask him soon though ... Driving through the mountains in October is not fun! Trust me, I know!!
My brother, the terrorist. My brother wants me dead.
I need a hero.
Sweet Dreams ... where art thou?
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Bring On the Rain
September 26, 2010 - 16:52
No word from anybody who has a resume, or application, handed in to them. Also, no word from the landlords in regards to post-October. And the situation has intensified in the meantime.
The reason for my intensified search for more work was not only being down to one job with sole possession of rent and bills. Last week, I was given advance notice of being laid off for the winter. I have no idea if anybody else is being laid off or not. This is the downside of Pender living, and I know it. I know it very well. This is the position I was in when I arrived last year. Didn't like it then either.
I will be laid off Oct 15th. My lease is up in October as well. The crux of the matter here is what to do. I have a room available to me here on the island. True friends, they offered long before I could consider asking. Between my final pay, and my damage deposit, I would have enough to make it home. The problem again is where to live. Damned if I do, damned if I don't. There's also the issue of my current responsibilities. I'm looking after Ripley and Simon until my parents come back to the island. (That's my Dad's goal.) Finding an affordable place in Edmonton with a dog and two cats in tow isn't easy at the best of times.
As depressed as I am, and as much as I want to go home, I think I will be here until Spring at the earliest, and Fall at the latest. Even if I had a place to stay in Edmonton this year, it's probably best to stay here for now. I'm hoping that I will be able to claim unemployment, and they don't like it much when I change provinces. I also want to be able to leave the other pets behind and just come home with Spot.
19:12
Okay, we have something worked out in regards to my possible new place. I won't be trying to cram into a room, with my cats and dog and things. This is good. More later on this.
Anyway, I don't want to run off with just enough money to get somewhere. I want to have enough to get me by for a bit until a permanent solution comes up. A chance to come home with my feet under me.
One thing that won't change is that I'm going to miss Pender just as much as I miss Edmonton. I've made a few good friends here. And I don't have to EXPLAIN myself all the time. When I say something, I don't get funny looks or an outright "Wha?" People either understand or they just accept it as being me. My strangeness is accepted. What more can a girl ask for in life?
Yes, I think I will be okay ... I will stay. If things go really well, well, we'll see from there. Perhaps I will rotate and come home for winter to work. White Christmases will be nice.
I could also win the lottery by then too.
It could happen.
Meanwhile, my budget is getting easier. I have one less card to pay off, the storage unit is no longer an issue, and I have paid almost all of my personal debts to people off. My head isn't far above the water, but I can breathe without the water getting up my nose.
Dare I say that I am almost floating just at the surface, staring up at the stars, and dreaming of flying again. All I need is a place to stand so that my wings can dry.
Sweet Dreams!
No word from anybody who has a resume, or application, handed in to them. Also, no word from the landlords in regards to post-October. And the situation has intensified in the meantime.
The reason for my intensified search for more work was not only being down to one job with sole possession of rent and bills. Last week, I was given advance notice of being laid off for the winter. I have no idea if anybody else is being laid off or not. This is the downside of Pender living, and I know it. I know it very well. This is the position I was in when I arrived last year. Didn't like it then either.
I will be laid off Oct 15th. My lease is up in October as well. The crux of the matter here is what to do. I have a room available to me here on the island. True friends, they offered long before I could consider asking. Between my final pay, and my damage deposit, I would have enough to make it home. The problem again is where to live. Damned if I do, damned if I don't. There's also the issue of my current responsibilities. I'm looking after Ripley and Simon until my parents come back to the island. (That's my Dad's goal.) Finding an affordable place in Edmonton with a dog and two cats in tow isn't easy at the best of times.
As depressed as I am, and as much as I want to go home, I think I will be here until Spring at the earliest, and Fall at the latest. Even if I had a place to stay in Edmonton this year, it's probably best to stay here for now. I'm hoping that I will be able to claim unemployment, and they don't like it much when I change provinces. I also want to be able to leave the other pets behind and just come home with Spot.
19:12
Okay, we have something worked out in regards to my possible new place. I won't be trying to cram into a room, with my cats and dog and things. This is good. More later on this.
Anyway, I don't want to run off with just enough money to get somewhere. I want to have enough to get me by for a bit until a permanent solution comes up. A chance to come home with my feet under me.
One thing that won't change is that I'm going to miss Pender just as much as I miss Edmonton. I've made a few good friends here. And I don't have to EXPLAIN myself all the time. When I say something, I don't get funny looks or an outright "Wha?" People either understand or they just accept it as being me. My strangeness is accepted. What more can a girl ask for in life?
Yes, I think I will be okay ... I will stay. If things go really well, well, we'll see from there. Perhaps I will rotate and come home for winter to work. White Christmases will be nice.
I could also win the lottery by then too.
It could happen.
Meanwhile, my budget is getting easier. I have one less card to pay off, the storage unit is no longer an issue, and I have paid almost all of my personal debts to people off. My head isn't far above the water, but I can breathe without the water getting up my nose.
Dare I say that I am almost floating just at the surface, staring up at the stars, and dreaming of flying again. All I need is a place to stand so that my wings can dry.
Sweet Dreams!
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Good Vibrations - No Batteries Required
September 15, 2010 - 22:42
My new favourite videos are Geek and Gamer Girls and Dancing at the Movies ...
http://www.break.com/break-originals/other-funny-stuff/geek-and-gamer-girls-anthem?ref=nf
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYL3j27sSH8&feature=player_embedded
Dancing is supposed to have 40 movies/TV shows, but I think it's more like 40 clips ... too many clips of the same movies to be 40 movies in there. Still, I could be wrong. I recognise most of them, and can guess at the others. I'm willing to have a contest to see who can name the most. Let me know if you are willing ... try to do it without help.
Got another Auto letter from U-Haul yesterday that almost stopped my heart. It said that my rights to the locker had been terminated and that they were advertising my things for auction. I wrote to my contact and begged her to tell me that these notes were automatic and that it wasn't actually happening. She confirmed that it was just automatic, but I still feared that somebody in the chain wouldn't realise that and go forward with it. Oh, the horror of the day!! I cannot begin to describe!
Thankfully, things are fixed up today. I'm paid up ... That's one bit of good news. The other good news is that my mother managed to convince my brother to place all my things into storage ... in his basement or garage. I'm not sure how she managed to convince him. He only just bought the house and moved in. Shoving my things into his place can't be what he planned to do first thing.
I wonder what he'll charge me?
I'm just happy to have that payment gone!
Tomorrow, I hope to drop off resumes ... to places that must be tired of reading them by now. Still, I have to have something while I wait for the construction place to hire me. If they hire me. They have to hire me. They will. I'm worth it.
Sweet Dreams!
My new favourite videos are Geek and Gamer Girls and Dancing at the Movies ...
http://www.break.com/break-originals/other-funny-stuff/geek-and-gamer-girls-anthem?ref=nf
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYL3j27sSH8&feature=player_embedded
Dancing is supposed to have 40 movies/TV shows, but I think it's more like 40 clips ... too many clips of the same movies to be 40 movies in there. Still, I could be wrong. I recognise most of them, and can guess at the others. I'm willing to have a contest to see who can name the most. Let me know if you are willing ... try to do it without help.
Got another Auto letter from U-Haul yesterday that almost stopped my heart. It said that my rights to the locker had been terminated and that they were advertising my things for auction. I wrote to my contact and begged her to tell me that these notes were automatic and that it wasn't actually happening. She confirmed that it was just automatic, but I still feared that somebody in the chain wouldn't realise that and go forward with it. Oh, the horror of the day!! I cannot begin to describe!
Thankfully, things are fixed up today. I'm paid up ... That's one bit of good news. The other good news is that my mother managed to convince my brother to place all my things into storage ... in his basement or garage. I'm not sure how she managed to convince him. He only just bought the house and moved in. Shoving my things into his place can't be what he planned to do first thing.
I wonder what he'll charge me?
I'm just happy to have that payment gone!
Tomorrow, I hope to drop off resumes ... to places that must be tired of reading them by now. Still, I have to have something while I wait for the construction place to hire me. If they hire me. They have to hire me. They will. I'm worth it.
Sweet Dreams!
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Lalalalalalalalala!! WIPEOUT!!! (Insert Drum Solo)
September 12, 2010 - 10:57
.... Darnit ...
I had a lot of things to tell you today, and now that I'm here my mind is blank. I wonder if I bumped it. No, impact was absorbed by my knee and shoulder ... hmmm ...
What? Didn't I tell you? Sorry. Had to repeat the story over and over on Friday and you tend to forget who doesn't know. Friday morning, I had an accident with the scooter.
Oh ... by the by ... I finally got the scooter! LOL!
It was my fourth day driving it. and I had already been having power troubles. It kept dying on me while I was riding. Well, Toby, my scooter expert neighbour, and I gave it a look over the night before and found that the spark plug was clogged and starting to corrode. He cleaned it for me and we will replace it when we get a new one. Meanwhile, just cleaning it seems to have given the possessed thing some extra torque ... it was like a wild thing the next morning.
Anyway, Friday was already not starting well ... it was raining unexpectedly, so I knew I would be having troubles with my glasses. And I was going into work an hour earlier than usual (to make up for being late on Wednesday when I broke down.) ... strangely, I was on the ball about getting ready, eating, and getting out of the house.
I was driving carefully, trying to keep my speed down to 40 instead of up at 50 like I had been up to then, so I had a bit of a line up behind me. I decided to pull over before I went up a big hill, which slows me down even more. This act of kindness was my mistake. No more miss nice rider here. I pulled over at the base of the hill, onto the shoulder. The shoulder, I must point out, is dirt. Mostly sand and small rocks. When the traffic went by, I started to go forward again, but because I was already facing uphill, I needed a bit more power ... I didn't go overboard with the gas, but the scooter suddenly bucked forward. I still had a foot on the ground, and caught the scooter which proceeded to fishtail towards the pavement. It hit the gap between the pavement and the dirt shoulder (a dip of about 2 or 3 inches) and I thought I had gotten it back under control ... um ... no. No, definitely not. I think the tire had been spinning in the gap and it hit the pavement faster than I thought. Scooter went flying, taking me with it. we fell sideways and skidded across the road. Thankfully, no traffic ...
Scratches in the white plastic, cracked the floorboard when the edge caught, and broke a cover to a signal light. Also cracked an already broken mirror ... luckily, I "walked away" with a slightly skinned knee, and some aches. No bruises, no broken bones, no scratches on the borrowed helmet. Yay, me!
I think that was the last day of the Mercury Retrograde. Talk about a notice-able exit!
Life has not smoothed out in other factions either. My second job has cancelled every shift this month ... It's bad enough that I was surprised to only have three shifts in the two weeks available, but to find myself with no pay cheque after all? Well, it will have one shift on it ... a whole whopping 3.5 hrs. Better than nothing, I guess ... Still, I was short for rent last month. I'm going to be short again this month.
I thought I was saved when I found somebody who was hiring FT ... and my boss at the lumberyard gave me a glowing referral (he always says the best things!!) But he's not hiring a labourer until next month ... maybe.
PartyLite has entered a rocky place as well. I owe them money too. Thanks to that stupid bank, which I no longer have an account with! Haven't been getting any sales either ... Trying to get some sales going on my website, but I have little hope. Meanwhile, I'm keeping my eyes open ... but work on the island in winter is scarce.
My Dad's heart transplant two weeks ago has us all on pins and needles as well. He's finally showing some positive recovery now, so keep the positive thoughts and the candles lit. (I know a great place where you can replace your candles ...)
And then there is my love life ... *sigh*
Navy Boy is emotionally not really ready for a relationship. I'm being a good friend and helping where I can, but I won't let it go beyond flirting until he's in a better space. And I don't mean distance. He's trying to find something to cling to, and I don't want to be his crutch. Even if it did mean I'd be given a willing, loving slave for life. Not looking for that. Well, not like that ...
Yet another best friend with a girlfriend is feeling a strong connection with me ... He's got strong feelings for his girlfriend though, so I'm not as worried. We're both walking the line carefully. *sigh* It's not easy being this sexy ... LOL!
And then there's Jade ... the greatest love of my life, who refused to wake up from the cotton balled world his mother kept him in. Sometimes it seemed like he might wake up, but it was only to roll over and go back to sleep. Well, he seems to be waking up now ... and resenting the fact that he can't stretch out his legs. He told me that he regretted thinking that the situation would work out, and that he definitely removed the wrong person from the house. He wants me back and he's making the moves to make it happen. I'm hesitating though. I want to be sure what I'm coming back to ...
On the bright side, if I came back to Jade, my friends would see so much more of me. Hmmmm ... oh, the dilemma. LOL!
I found a TV/Stereo cabinet for free ... just have to find a way to get it here. Also, rattan outdoor furniture. A bit late for this year, but next year should be great!!
My container garden is under water ... LOL! Next year I will try again with containers that DRAIN! <3
Sweet Dreams!
.... Darnit ...
I had a lot of things to tell you today, and now that I'm here my mind is blank. I wonder if I bumped it. No, impact was absorbed by my knee and shoulder ... hmmm ...
What? Didn't I tell you? Sorry. Had to repeat the story over and over on Friday and you tend to forget who doesn't know. Friday morning, I had an accident with the scooter.
Oh ... by the by ... I finally got the scooter! LOL!
It was my fourth day driving it. and I had already been having power troubles. It kept dying on me while I was riding. Well, Toby, my scooter expert neighbour, and I gave it a look over the night before and found that the spark plug was clogged and starting to corrode. He cleaned it for me and we will replace it when we get a new one. Meanwhile, just cleaning it seems to have given the possessed thing some extra torque ... it was like a wild thing the next morning.
Anyway, Friday was already not starting well ... it was raining unexpectedly, so I knew I would be having troubles with my glasses. And I was going into work an hour earlier than usual (to make up for being late on Wednesday when I broke down.) ... strangely, I was on the ball about getting ready, eating, and getting out of the house.
I was driving carefully, trying to keep my speed down to 40 instead of up at 50 like I had been up to then, so I had a bit of a line up behind me. I decided to pull over before I went up a big hill, which slows me down even more. This act of kindness was my mistake. No more miss nice rider here. I pulled over at the base of the hill, onto the shoulder. The shoulder, I must point out, is dirt. Mostly sand and small rocks. When the traffic went by, I started to go forward again, but because I was already facing uphill, I needed a bit more power ... I didn't go overboard with the gas, but the scooter suddenly bucked forward. I still had a foot on the ground, and caught the scooter which proceeded to fishtail towards the pavement. It hit the gap between the pavement and the dirt shoulder (a dip of about 2 or 3 inches) and I thought I had gotten it back under control ... um ... no. No, definitely not. I think the tire had been spinning in the gap and it hit the pavement faster than I thought. Scooter went flying, taking me with it. we fell sideways and skidded across the road. Thankfully, no traffic ...
Scratches in the white plastic, cracked the floorboard when the edge caught, and broke a cover to a signal light. Also cracked an already broken mirror ... luckily, I "walked away" with a slightly skinned knee, and some aches. No bruises, no broken bones, no scratches on the borrowed helmet. Yay, me!
I think that was the last day of the Mercury Retrograde. Talk about a notice-able exit!
Life has not smoothed out in other factions either. My second job has cancelled every shift this month ... It's bad enough that I was surprised to only have three shifts in the two weeks available, but to find myself with no pay cheque after all? Well, it will have one shift on it ... a whole whopping 3.5 hrs. Better than nothing, I guess ... Still, I was short for rent last month. I'm going to be short again this month.
I thought I was saved when I found somebody who was hiring FT ... and my boss at the lumberyard gave me a glowing referral (he always says the best things!!) But he's not hiring a labourer until next month ... maybe.
PartyLite has entered a rocky place as well. I owe them money too. Thanks to that stupid bank, which I no longer have an account with! Haven't been getting any sales either ... Trying to get some sales going on my website, but I have little hope. Meanwhile, I'm keeping my eyes open ... but work on the island in winter is scarce.
My Dad's heart transplant two weeks ago has us all on pins and needles as well. He's finally showing some positive recovery now, so keep the positive thoughts and the candles lit. (I know a great place where you can replace your candles ...)
And then there is my love life ... *sigh*
Navy Boy is emotionally not really ready for a relationship. I'm being a good friend and helping where I can, but I won't let it go beyond flirting until he's in a better space. And I don't mean distance. He's trying to find something to cling to, and I don't want to be his crutch. Even if it did mean I'd be given a willing, loving slave for life. Not looking for that. Well, not like that ...
Yet another best friend with a girlfriend is feeling a strong connection with me ... He's got strong feelings for his girlfriend though, so I'm not as worried. We're both walking the line carefully. *sigh* It's not easy being this sexy ... LOL!
And then there's Jade ... the greatest love of my life, who refused to wake up from the cotton balled world his mother kept him in. Sometimes it seemed like he might wake up, but it was only to roll over and go back to sleep. Well, he seems to be waking up now ... and resenting the fact that he can't stretch out his legs. He told me that he regretted thinking that the situation would work out, and that he definitely removed the wrong person from the house. He wants me back and he's making the moves to make it happen. I'm hesitating though. I want to be sure what I'm coming back to ...
On the bright side, if I came back to Jade, my friends would see so much more of me. Hmmmm ... oh, the dilemma. LOL!
I found a TV/Stereo cabinet for free ... just have to find a way to get it here. Also, rattan outdoor furniture. A bit late for this year, but next year should be great!!
My container garden is under water ... LOL! Next year I will try again with containers that DRAIN! <3
Sweet Dreams!
Saturday, September 04, 2010
My Name is Lea, and I'm an Idiot.
(aka In the Battle of Wall vs Head, the Wall is Winning!)
September 4, 2010 - 13:47
Things are once again moving quickly. Maybe a bit too much, in a way. I finally got my income tax. It was less than I was expecting, and I was at a loss as to what to do with it. I really needed it for a series of things and it wasn't going to cover it all. It wouldn't even cover the cost of getting my things here. I came up with the best alternative and put the call out ... and got static. Pity.
On the other hand, I came up with another plan. I would try to get a loan/line of credit. When I went off-island to get to the bank with my pay cheques, I went in and asked about loans. All well and good, but I have no collateral. I don't own anything. I need a co-signer. My parents are not an option, and I can't ask my brother because they don't want a co-signer from out of province. This leaves me with the most difficult quest ever. I need to ask a friend here on the island to co-sign.
I dislike asking for money. Ask anybody. Even the band members here have figured that out and will step up with an offer of food or cash when we do gigs out and about. But that's part of the island friendship that I've fallen into. Nobody is keeping score here. Asking somebody to be my back up for a few grand? That's gonna be a whole new kettle of fish. Still, I'll try. I have nothing to lose ... except everything I own. So ... with the loan in mind, I did what I felt was the wisest course ... I spent the income tax return. I paid off a few debts, including my long cancelled VISA card. I caught up on my bills and ... made the idiot move of coming up short for rent. *sigh* Didn't leave me with a good starting point for re-negotiating rent, but I did my best.
As you may have noticed in my last update, my Dad had finally made the Heart Transplant List. Well, he got it this week. Today is Day 5 and he's still in critical, but stable, condition. There was a bit of a problem with the right side of his new heart, but that's been dealt with, and they have closed him up and taken him off the bypass machine. Surgeon told us that his old heart was the worst heart he's ever seen. Let's hope he takes better care of the new one. Please light candles and send positive thoughts ... not just for my Dad, but for the donor, and the donor's family, as well.
I am trying to come home for a bit of visiting and some PartyLite parties as well. It's going to be tough, and will mainly depend on how much the bus ticket will cost. I will do my best to get home, but things are looking a bit grim. Still, I am going to try. There's always hope, right? Everlasting, and all that?
Sweet Dreams!
The only time you run out of chances ... is when you stop taking them.
September 4, 2010 - 13:47
Things are once again moving quickly. Maybe a bit too much, in a way. I finally got my income tax. It was less than I was expecting, and I was at a loss as to what to do with it. I really needed it for a series of things and it wasn't going to cover it all. It wouldn't even cover the cost of getting my things here. I came up with the best alternative and put the call out ... and got static. Pity.
On the other hand, I came up with another plan. I would try to get a loan/line of credit. When I went off-island to get to the bank with my pay cheques, I went in and asked about loans. All well and good, but I have no collateral. I don't own anything. I need a co-signer. My parents are not an option, and I can't ask my brother because they don't want a co-signer from out of province. This leaves me with the most difficult quest ever. I need to ask a friend here on the island to co-sign.
I dislike asking for money. Ask anybody. Even the band members here have figured that out and will step up with an offer of food or cash when we do gigs out and about. But that's part of the island friendship that I've fallen into. Nobody is keeping score here. Asking somebody to be my back up for a few grand? That's gonna be a whole new kettle of fish. Still, I'll try. I have nothing to lose ... except everything I own. So ... with the loan in mind, I did what I felt was the wisest course ... I spent the income tax return. I paid off a few debts, including my long cancelled VISA card. I caught up on my bills and ... made the idiot move of coming up short for rent. *sigh* Didn't leave me with a good starting point for re-negotiating rent, but I did my best.
As you may have noticed in my last update, my Dad had finally made the Heart Transplant List. Well, he got it this week. Today is Day 5 and he's still in critical, but stable, condition. There was a bit of a problem with the right side of his new heart, but that's been dealt with, and they have closed him up and taken him off the bypass machine. Surgeon told us that his old heart was the worst heart he's ever seen. Let's hope he takes better care of the new one. Please light candles and send positive thoughts ... not just for my Dad, but for the donor, and the donor's family, as well.
I am trying to come home for a bit of visiting and some PartyLite parties as well. It's going to be tough, and will mainly depend on how much the bus ticket will cost. I will do my best to get home, but things are looking a bit grim. Still, I am going to try. There's always hope, right? Everlasting, and all that?
Sweet Dreams!
The only time you run out of chances ... is when you stop taking them.
Monday, August 23, 2010
In Today's Episode: A Rock and a Hard Place Come Together
(or There's Never Any Aliens Around When You Really Need One!)
August 23, 2010 - 21:22
A month, Sandee? Has it been so long? Times flies when you are working hard, I guess ...
I have not forgotten any of you, and have been writing in my head again as it is all that I have had time for lately. I've been working two part time jobs - which has been leading to very, very long weeks for me because the only cap on my work days has been who has me that day. This month, I had two days off. TWO! *faint* On top of that, I agreed to be secretary for the pipe band, so that's more work ... but I like it.
Roomie leaves at the end of the week. Second job peters out next month ... leaving me more time, but less cash. I don't know what will happen with my hours at the first job. I'm stressing ... and I still haven't received my income tax. I'd really like to get rid of the storage fee ... especially as I've been having issues with them. I just don't want to have another winter like I did last year. I can't afford to do that. If that's the position that I'm going to be in, then I may as well pack everything up and go back to Alberta.
But I can't do that either. My dad, Albert, finally made the transplant list. He's at the top, so it should be soon, but his current heart won't function anymore without the medical drip. Even with the heart pump he had installed last fall. This means that I can't leave my mother unsupported during this time. (Although with the stupid ferry schedule, my brother could fly in from Alberta and still get there before me!) She's been given a recovery suite right across the lane from the hospital to wait for the operation and for the recovery after. This means that I have their cat and dog again. Yes, Simon and Ripley have returned. Neither are thrilled, although Ripley has been adapting a bit better than Simon. BOTH have been ruining my new couch. Ask me if I mind.
Anyway, I can't move with them. I would have trouble finding another place here on the island that would allow three pets, never mind trying to get a place in Alberta. No, I have to duke it out here. I'm hoping that my landlord will renegotiate rent. Meanwhile, I'm spreading the word that I need a roomie. *sigh* Don't WANT one, but needs must when the devil drives, I guess.
Despite the sad future lack of funds, I will be relieved when the second job ends ... the stress was spilling over into everything. I've got knots in my shoulders that have been playing merry havoc with the rest of my body. Can't turn my head, my left arm is sore and I have trouble using it. All the standing/walking on cement has been killing my ankles. my right side is getting sore from compensating for my left. Even my teeth hurt ... which means I'm clenching again. And I'm sucking back the Barq's at a rapid pace ... but I don't mind that part. ;)
Jade is still playing me along ... but I'm getting ready to put my foot down. Green Man is still cheering me on from the more northerly west coastline. Strange how his getting angry with Jade affects me a bit more than my other friends. Will have to think about that.
Anyhow ... you are not abandoned, friends and readers ... I have merely, temporarily, lost time ... but not yet my sanity. ;) Until next time ...
Sweet Dreams!
August 23, 2010 - 21:22
A month, Sandee? Has it been so long? Times flies when you are working hard, I guess ...
I have not forgotten any of you, and have been writing in my head again as it is all that I have had time for lately. I've been working two part time jobs - which has been leading to very, very long weeks for me because the only cap on my work days has been who has me that day. This month, I had two days off. TWO! *faint* On top of that, I agreed to be secretary for the pipe band, so that's more work ... but I like it.
Roomie leaves at the end of the week. Second job peters out next month ... leaving me more time, but less cash. I don't know what will happen with my hours at the first job. I'm stressing ... and I still haven't received my income tax. I'd really like to get rid of the storage fee ... especially as I've been having issues with them. I just don't want to have another winter like I did last year. I can't afford to do that. If that's the position that I'm going to be in, then I may as well pack everything up and go back to Alberta.
But I can't do that either. My dad, Albert, finally made the transplant list. He's at the top, so it should be soon, but his current heart won't function anymore without the medical drip. Even with the heart pump he had installed last fall. This means that I can't leave my mother unsupported during this time. (Although with the stupid ferry schedule, my brother could fly in from Alberta and still get there before me!) She's been given a recovery suite right across the lane from the hospital to wait for the operation and for the recovery after. This means that I have their cat and dog again. Yes, Simon and Ripley have returned. Neither are thrilled, although Ripley has been adapting a bit better than Simon. BOTH have been ruining my new couch. Ask me if I mind.
Anyway, I can't move with them. I would have trouble finding another place here on the island that would allow three pets, never mind trying to get a place in Alberta. No, I have to duke it out here. I'm hoping that my landlord will renegotiate rent. Meanwhile, I'm spreading the word that I need a roomie. *sigh* Don't WANT one, but needs must when the devil drives, I guess.
Despite the sad future lack of funds, I will be relieved when the second job ends ... the stress was spilling over into everything. I've got knots in my shoulders that have been playing merry havoc with the rest of my body. Can't turn my head, my left arm is sore and I have trouble using it. All the standing/walking on cement has been killing my ankles. my right side is getting sore from compensating for my left. Even my teeth hurt ... which means I'm clenching again. And I'm sucking back the Barq's at a rapid pace ... but I don't mind that part. ;)
Jade is still playing me along ... but I'm getting ready to put my foot down. Green Man is still cheering me on from the more northerly west coastline. Strange how his getting angry with Jade affects me a bit more than my other friends. Will have to think about that.
Anyhow ... you are not abandoned, friends and readers ... I have merely, temporarily, lost time ... but not yet my sanity. ;) Until next time ...
Sweet Dreams!
Sunday, July 25, 2010
So You Think We Can Dance ...
July 25, 2010 - 18:05
Music: Does your Mother Know - ABBA (LOL!)
So ... "everybody" wants to know about my Saturday night, although I have already described it. It was a calm and peaceful day. I finished up a few small chores, and basically spent the day reading and spending time with Spot. Thought about doing some yard work, but the reading downtime felt perfect. My place hummed with contentment ...
So you are wondering about the date that I was supposed to have? That got cancelled.
We were chatting on Wednesday night, when he told me that he'd had a date with the other lady that he was in contact with. He said that there was no spark, but he thought there was something there worth giving a chance. I supported the idea. (What else could I do?) He then cancelled our date to go on another one with her. Oh. Okay ... BUT he'd call me if nothing happened with her.
Eh?!? Thanks. Now I'm a back up plan? Hmmm ...
And then he mentioned that it would have been nice to (have a roll in the hay) this Saturday ...
... Did he just say what I thought he said??
I told him that if he was coming to see me just for the sex, then he was coming over for the wrong reasons. Period. No contest. The chat petered off from there ... and we haven't talked much since although he keeps trying to get me chatting.
Of course, I was upset about his comment and, being late in the evening, I sent a text to Jade. Just a simple, "I need a hug." I didn't think he'd be awake. He was and he demanded to know why I was crying. Damn my honesty! I wish I had lied. What a guilt trip I was given! Apparently, it was a betrayal for me to consider dating while he's (he says) not ready to date yet because he still loves me.
Granted, I'm probably not over him enough to be dating others, but I'm damn tired of being alone. What am I supposed to do, remain celibate expect for his visit twice a year?? There's no point in sending texts or e-mails about this to discuss. Chat might be okay, but we need to discuss this face to face. He's going to visit a friend in Nanaimo next month, and he's going to swing down to me ... and we'll get this settled at last. If I could get him away from his mother, he'd be worth saving. He's a good guy when she doesn't have her claws into him. Instant prick when she does.
Anyway, that's something to deal with if it happens. I'm contemplating whether or not to continue e-Harmony. This kind of turned me off ... especially when he pointed out that his profile's "never smokes" refers to CIGARETTES. He likes cigars and pipes. Erm ... I'm very allergic. Which is why I'm looking for a non-smoker. Thanks for lying, Mr. Honesty is Very Important. :P
Meanwhile, I'm really connecting with my property, but I can't afford the high rent. My friends keep pointing out other places to me, but I'm on a lease here. Can't leave until October ... so that's two months to pay on my own. Ouch. Well, maybe rent can be renegotiated ... The property needs a lot of work, maybe I can bargain with that.
Still waiting for visits! No competitions coming up, but a few gigs that you can watch and enjoy! Fall Fair is August 28 ... Let me lure you from the cities with the calming influence of my island. It's a Fantasy waiting to happen!
Sweet Dreams!
Music: Does your Mother Know - ABBA (LOL!)
So ... "everybody" wants to know about my Saturday night, although I have already described it. It was a calm and peaceful day. I finished up a few small chores, and basically spent the day reading and spending time with Spot. Thought about doing some yard work, but the reading downtime felt perfect. My place hummed with contentment ...
So you are wondering about the date that I was supposed to have? That got cancelled.
We were chatting on Wednesday night, when he told me that he'd had a date with the other lady that he was in contact with. He said that there was no spark, but he thought there was something there worth giving a chance. I supported the idea. (What else could I do?) He then cancelled our date to go on another one with her. Oh. Okay ... BUT he'd call me if nothing happened with her.
Eh?!? Thanks. Now I'm a back up plan? Hmmm ...
And then he mentioned that it would have been nice to (have a roll in the hay) this Saturday ...
... Did he just say what I thought he said??
I told him that if he was coming to see me just for the sex, then he was coming over for the wrong reasons. Period. No contest. The chat petered off from there ... and we haven't talked much since although he keeps trying to get me chatting.
Of course, I was upset about his comment and, being late in the evening, I sent a text to Jade. Just a simple, "I need a hug." I didn't think he'd be awake. He was and he demanded to know why I was crying. Damn my honesty! I wish I had lied. What a guilt trip I was given! Apparently, it was a betrayal for me to consider dating while he's (he says) not ready to date yet because he still loves me.
Granted, I'm probably not over him enough to be dating others, but I'm damn tired of being alone. What am I supposed to do, remain celibate expect for his visit twice a year?? There's no point in sending texts or e-mails about this to discuss. Chat might be okay, but we need to discuss this face to face. He's going to visit a friend in Nanaimo next month, and he's going to swing down to me ... and we'll get this settled at last. If I could get him away from his mother, he'd be worth saving. He's a good guy when she doesn't have her claws into him. Instant prick when she does.
Anyway, that's something to deal with if it happens. I'm contemplating whether or not to continue e-Harmony. This kind of turned me off ... especially when he pointed out that his profile's "never smokes" refers to CIGARETTES. He likes cigars and pipes. Erm ... I'm very allergic. Which is why I'm looking for a non-smoker. Thanks for lying, Mr. Honesty is Very Important. :P
Meanwhile, I'm really connecting with my property, but I can't afford the high rent. My friends keep pointing out other places to me, but I'm on a lease here. Can't leave until October ... so that's two months to pay on my own. Ouch. Well, maybe rent can be renegotiated ... The property needs a lot of work, maybe I can bargain with that.
Still waiting for visits! No competitions coming up, but a few gigs that you can watch and enjoy! Fall Fair is August 28 ... Let me lure you from the cities with the calming influence of my island. It's a Fantasy waiting to happen!
Sweet Dreams!
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
The Usual Disclaimers
(aka Happy and Well in Lala Land! Don't Tell the Aliens!)
July 20, 2010 - 19:29
Music: Queen - We will Rock You
I so can't wait for my scooter! Now that I'm working five to six days a week, the hitching thing is getting old fast. It takes me an hour of walking and riding to get to my second job. Makes for early mornings that I might enjoy if they weren't so rushed.
New job is going well otherwise.
So is e-Harmony. I've got a date this Saturday. He's coming to the island to see me. If things go well, he'll be seeing me the following Thursday also. I'm very nervous ... and very happy that I have Thursday off so that I can clean the house! He's kind of too good to be true ... he's military, he loves pipe music, he loves PartyLite, and he likes to cook. We listen to similar music, have similar interests ... and, well, if the spark isn't there, then I'm demanding a refund! He's Scorpio ... I've loved a Scorpio before and enjoyed the experience ... I hope it turns out the same. I admit that he's not quite my usual "ideal", but he's appealing in his own way. And he looks great in his uniform. <3
Navy. Who'da thought I'd ever go for Navy?? Amazing ... And while he finds my breasts impressive, it's my hips, and my smile, that attract him most. Talk about surprise ... next he'll be claiming to love my "wobbly bits".
I didn't go into sob story details about Jade, but he knows I was in a previous long term relationship that ended abruptly and badly. He's recently separated and will be getting divorced shortly. It's the only thing that makes me twitch, but I refuse to go through life trying to read between the lines. It might be safer, but it leads to games, or assuming everybody is playing them, and I don't want to live like that. I'll be careful though.
I do find myself wondering if I should tell Jade ... I mean, yes, it's not his business anymore, but we are still on friendly terms and I'd like to keep it that way. And this isn't something I'd like for him to hear from somebody else. If it's going to hurt him, it will hurt him more that way. I'll probably tell him soon ... just not sure HOW to bring it up. And I don't know what his reaction will be.
Meanwhile, back at Headquarters, I'm looking forward to arranging for my things to arrive. I would very much like to NOT be paying that storage fee past this month ... Looking for drivers - any volunteers? Who wants to visit me?
Sweet Dreams!
July 20, 2010 - 19:29
Music: Queen - We will Rock You
I so can't wait for my scooter! Now that I'm working five to six days a week, the hitching thing is getting old fast. It takes me an hour of walking and riding to get to my second job. Makes for early mornings that I might enjoy if they weren't so rushed.
New job is going well otherwise.
So is e-Harmony. I've got a date this Saturday. He's coming to the island to see me. If things go well, he'll be seeing me the following Thursday also. I'm very nervous ... and very happy that I have Thursday off so that I can clean the house! He's kind of too good to be true ... he's military, he loves pipe music, he loves PartyLite, and he likes to cook. We listen to similar music, have similar interests ... and, well, if the spark isn't there, then I'm demanding a refund! He's Scorpio ... I've loved a Scorpio before and enjoyed the experience ... I hope it turns out the same. I admit that he's not quite my usual "ideal", but he's appealing in his own way. And he looks great in his uniform. <3
Navy. Who'da thought I'd ever go for Navy?? Amazing ... And while he finds my breasts impressive, it's my hips, and my smile, that attract him most. Talk about surprise ... next he'll be claiming to love my "wobbly bits".
I didn't go into sob story details about Jade, but he knows I was in a previous long term relationship that ended abruptly and badly. He's recently separated and will be getting divorced shortly. It's the only thing that makes me twitch, but I refuse to go through life trying to read between the lines. It might be safer, but it leads to games, or assuming everybody is playing them, and I don't want to live like that. I'll be careful though.
I do find myself wondering if I should tell Jade ... I mean, yes, it's not his business anymore, but we are still on friendly terms and I'd like to keep it that way. And this isn't something I'd like for him to hear from somebody else. If it's going to hurt him, it will hurt him more that way. I'll probably tell him soon ... just not sure HOW to bring it up. And I don't know what his reaction will be.
Meanwhile, back at Headquarters, I'm looking forward to arranging for my things to arrive. I would very much like to NOT be paying that storage fee past this month ... Looking for drivers - any volunteers? Who wants to visit me?
Sweet Dreams!
Monday, July 12, 2010
An Island Never Cries ...
July 12, 2010 - 17:52
Music: I Will Find You - Clannad
There once was a time when I was totally addicted to writing in my journal. Every day would find a new entry, or even two. I'd write everything down just like I do now. Like I'm writing to an audience that may, or may nor, send a comment in response. Effectively, I was really talking to myself ... and writing it down helped me to organise it. Might have even created a memory. However, I've come to realise that there comes a time when a person can get tired of talking to themselves. No matter how much I have to share, there are moments where you just had to be there. Makes me feel lonelier that I don't have anybody to share these things with as they happen. Somebody that I can talk to and get a response from ... soft words, gentle looks, strong arms ... and the other kind too. Never mind the kisses, the touches, and the bites. *sigh*
Well, hopefully this is short lived and I'll find somebody who shares good chemistry with me ... and I'll have new things to write about :)
Had a busy weekend. Poor Spot was left to his own devices for the most part. My parents came down to celebrate my Mom's birthday ... and to drop off a care package of food. :) Had a great time. Including watching whales go by the shoreline. A pod of about 11. Mom says that I got good pictures, so I am waiting for her to send them to me. Also got some goodies from a garage sale ... including a new keyboard and a small TV. It's got a tiny screen ... Greywhistle would not approve. :) But it's better than nothing. My Auntie has promised me a larger TV, but I'm not going to count on it until I see it. Maybe I'll invest in cable then ...
Which I may be able to afford as I got hired yesterday for my second job at a local marina. I think I'm in the cafe. Not sure. Have no idea what days are involved or what I'm getting paid ... I'm just happy to have the extra money! LOL! I'll get some bills paid off!! Or I'll save it for a rainy day ... or I'll pay off some bills! we'll see, I guess ...
Here's to hoping for the best in the future!
Sweet Dreams!
Music: I Will Find You - Clannad
There once was a time when I was totally addicted to writing in my journal. Every day would find a new entry, or even two. I'd write everything down just like I do now. Like I'm writing to an audience that may, or may nor, send a comment in response. Effectively, I was really talking to myself ... and writing it down helped me to organise it. Might have even created a memory. However, I've come to realise that there comes a time when a person can get tired of talking to themselves. No matter how much I have to share, there are moments where you just had to be there. Makes me feel lonelier that I don't have anybody to share these things with as they happen. Somebody that I can talk to and get a response from ... soft words, gentle looks, strong arms ... and the other kind too. Never mind the kisses, the touches, and the bites. *sigh*
Well, hopefully this is short lived and I'll find somebody who shares good chemistry with me ... and I'll have new things to write about :)
Had a busy weekend. Poor Spot was left to his own devices for the most part. My parents came down to celebrate my Mom's birthday ... and to drop off a care package of food. :) Had a great time. Including watching whales go by the shoreline. A pod of about 11. Mom says that I got good pictures, so I am waiting for her to send them to me. Also got some goodies from a garage sale ... including a new keyboard and a small TV. It's got a tiny screen ... Greywhistle would not approve. :) But it's better than nothing. My Auntie has promised me a larger TV, but I'm not going to count on it until I see it. Maybe I'll invest in cable then ...
Which I may be able to afford as I got hired yesterday for my second job at a local marina. I think I'm in the cafe. Not sure. Have no idea what days are involved or what I'm getting paid ... I'm just happy to have the extra money! LOL! I'll get some bills paid off!! Or I'll save it for a rainy day ... or I'll pay off some bills! we'll see, I guess ...
Here's to hoping for the best in the future!
Sweet Dreams!
Sunday, July 04, 2010
I Let Time Go Lightly ...
(aka On the Road That Will Take Me Home)
July 4, 2010 - 17:41
Just got home from the local Art Show that my friends were participating in. I was blown away by some of the quality work that was in there. Some were classic picture styles, but others were quite bold. Others still were wonderfully creative. Makes me want to draw something ...
My carrots are finally peeking!! YAY! I was a lot more impatient for them than I was for the others, because I had planted them so late. But now they are peeking and I'm very happy. Radishes, and carrots, and swiss shard, oh my!! Break out the butter!!
The tomato plant isn't doing much up top, but it still looks healthy, so I'm assuming that it's putting out roots. The cucumber and watermelon plants are looking healthy also, as are the pumpkins that just popped up a few days ago! (YAY!) Crossing fingers!
Just to go over a few things from the last entry ...
Yes, I moved for a reason, but let's remember what that reason was. I came to help my parents with a medical situation. I stayed because this is a fantastic place to be ... and I can't afford to come home. I'm also involved with more things here on the island than I ever was in the city. This is the life style that I am good at, broke, or not. (I still prefer to be NOT broke though!) I didn't leave to get away from Jade, although I admitted, at the time, that the distance was a benefit. I'm quite sure that I would be doing quite well if I had stayed in the city. (Sometimes I wish that I had!)
True, the recent bit of drama made me take a closer look at my feelings, and my current well being. Things that I thought I was in touch with, but realise now that I had mostly just put them away, and closed the door.
Personally, I've come a very long way from the wreck that I had been allowed to become. I had sunk to an unbelievable low ... even I hadn't realised how far gone I was until I started to climb back up again. I am strong again, and my own person in ways that I hadn't quite managed before. My feet have found Home. We won't lose it again.
I'm happier than I have been in years ... in fact, today I found myself talking horses with a lady who is thrilled with my horse experience and wants to hire me when she brings her horses home. :) If that doesn't pan out, I'm in the right location for furthering my education in whatever direction I would wish to choose, be it horses/vet, writing, or going into something completely new.
My weight is once again an immobile figure (stupid muscle), but I'm slimming nicely and I'm enjoying my walks better than ever. I'm feeling and looking beautiful in way that I haven't seen in myself since before my first pregnancy. And I'm going to get more beautiful as time passes. Just watch me.
This is my place. It's my island.
In regards to Jade, well, yes, I still love him. That's the type of person that I am. Love is forever, no matter how much it may have faded, or changed. If I had actually stopped loving him, then the things that had happened would have ceased to hurt. Sometimes I think that what I feel for Jade is more than just Love ... it's a Passion. The connection still exists between us, and I think something still needs to be played out. I'm no longer as dependent on him as I once was though. I'm quite through with putting my life on hold for him. It's his turn to keep up with me.
And with him, or without him, I'm going to soar.
Through the years that we were together, I've always felt that Jade has never truly grown. That he wasn't allowed to grow into the man that I've always seen in him. He was/is capable of great things ... and he's touched on these things more than once, but he's always been jerked back by something I had no control over. (Sometimes it reminded me of a Sailor Moon episode ... when the villainess flaunted her control over the Prince and flaunted it to prove that the Heroine was helpless. Of course, the villianesses in Sailor Moon were pitiful in comparison to the power holding Jade down. I'm waxing fancy now, but seriously, while I can't place all the blame on Jade's mother, I can place, at least, 98.7% of it on her shoulders. She's a great provider ... but not a very good mother.)
Enough of that. I'm not going to get trapped into a rant about Dona. It's too late to save her ...
Anyway, as I was saying, Jade's potential still exists. I feel that he still has his Karmic Lesson to learn, and I wonder if this is it. So I'm waiting. If he agrees to my non-negotiable demands, which were created for my protection, then I will consider giving him the benefit of the doubt. If this happens, I feel that I won't be stepping back, so much as bringing him up to my level, because I have risen well above where he is right now. And he knows it. And I hope he realises that if he lets that happen, and he pulls any of the same shit, I'll drop him again, and he'll fall farther than he's ever gone before. And I won't look back.
I haven't heard a peep from him since that chat, so I'm assuming that he's taking his thinking trip seriously. More than likely, he has his phone turned off or it's been left at home. Good. I want him to decide what he needs in his life. It might not necessarily mean me, and if it's not, well, I hope he's deciding how to get past that. I also sincerely hope that he takes my advice to heart. And if he decides that he needs my help, or if he needs me, then yes, against all advice, I'll probably give it to him ... as long as he follows through with the protection clauses.
This is who I am. Wrong or right, I cannot deny this part of myself ... It's a part of me that's always been there.
I'm going to get in trouble for this entry, I know, but I have given this a lot of careful thought. And I'm not going to run blindly back.
Still getting new possibilities from e-Harmony. I'm beginning to think that there are a LOT of guys out there that either don't check their mail, or they are trying to get through this without paying the fee. Seriously, why use this site if you aren't going to respond? Hercules said to be picky, so I am. In fact, I may be being a bit harsh in a couple cases. I felt a bit bad about that until one guy sent me a set of questions that woke me up a bit. Woke me up to the fact that I had been responding simply because I felt it was expected, not necessarily because I felt the need to. No spark. In fact, I was hesitating at times when I answered their inquiries and it wasn't because I was thinking of good answers. I had to give myself a poke ... this isn't a computer game. Pay attention, lackwit!
Somewhere out there is the guy that I need to feel fulfilled. I just wish he'd hurry and figure out who he is! I'm getting fidgety being the "odd man out".
Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou?
Sweet Dreams ...
July 4, 2010 - 17:41
Just got home from the local Art Show that my friends were participating in. I was blown away by some of the quality work that was in there. Some were classic picture styles, but others were quite bold. Others still were wonderfully creative. Makes me want to draw something ...
My carrots are finally peeking!! YAY! I was a lot more impatient for them than I was for the others, because I had planted them so late. But now they are peeking and I'm very happy. Radishes, and carrots, and swiss shard, oh my!! Break out the butter!!
The tomato plant isn't doing much up top, but it still looks healthy, so I'm assuming that it's putting out roots. The cucumber and watermelon plants are looking healthy also, as are the pumpkins that just popped up a few days ago! (YAY!) Crossing fingers!
Just to go over a few things from the last entry ...
Yes, I moved for a reason, but let's remember what that reason was. I came to help my parents with a medical situation. I stayed because this is a fantastic place to be ... and I can't afford to come home. I'm also involved with more things here on the island than I ever was in the city. This is the life style that I am good at, broke, or not. (I still prefer to be NOT broke though!) I didn't leave to get away from Jade, although I admitted, at the time, that the distance was a benefit. I'm quite sure that I would be doing quite well if I had stayed in the city. (Sometimes I wish that I had!)
True, the recent bit of drama made me take a closer look at my feelings, and my current well being. Things that I thought I was in touch with, but realise now that I had mostly just put them away, and closed the door.
Personally, I've come a very long way from the wreck that I had been allowed to become. I had sunk to an unbelievable low ... even I hadn't realised how far gone I was until I started to climb back up again. I am strong again, and my own person in ways that I hadn't quite managed before. My feet have found Home. We won't lose it again.
I'm happier than I have been in years ... in fact, today I found myself talking horses with a lady who is thrilled with my horse experience and wants to hire me when she brings her horses home. :) If that doesn't pan out, I'm in the right location for furthering my education in whatever direction I would wish to choose, be it horses/vet, writing, or going into something completely new.
My weight is once again an immobile figure (stupid muscle), but I'm slimming nicely and I'm enjoying my walks better than ever. I'm feeling and looking beautiful in way that I haven't seen in myself since before my first pregnancy. And I'm going to get more beautiful as time passes. Just watch me.
This is my place. It's my island.
In regards to Jade, well, yes, I still love him. That's the type of person that I am. Love is forever, no matter how much it may have faded, or changed. If I had actually stopped loving him, then the things that had happened would have ceased to hurt. Sometimes I think that what I feel for Jade is more than just Love ... it's a Passion. The connection still exists between us, and I think something still needs to be played out. I'm no longer as dependent on him as I once was though. I'm quite through with putting my life on hold for him. It's his turn to keep up with me.
And with him, or without him, I'm going to soar.
Through the years that we were together, I've always felt that Jade has never truly grown. That he wasn't allowed to grow into the man that I've always seen in him. He was/is capable of great things ... and he's touched on these things more than once, but he's always been jerked back by something I had no control over. (Sometimes it reminded me of a Sailor Moon episode ... when the villainess flaunted her control over the Prince and flaunted it to prove that the Heroine was helpless. Of course, the villianesses in Sailor Moon were pitiful in comparison to the power holding Jade down. I'm waxing fancy now, but seriously, while I can't place all the blame on Jade's mother, I can place, at least, 98.7% of it on her shoulders. She's a great provider ... but not a very good mother.)
Enough of that. I'm not going to get trapped into a rant about Dona. It's too late to save her ...
Anyway, as I was saying, Jade's potential still exists. I feel that he still has his Karmic Lesson to learn, and I wonder if this is it. So I'm waiting. If he agrees to my non-negotiable demands, which were created for my protection, then I will consider giving him the benefit of the doubt. If this happens, I feel that I won't be stepping back, so much as bringing him up to my level, because I have risen well above where he is right now. And he knows it. And I hope he realises that if he lets that happen, and he pulls any of the same shit, I'll drop him again, and he'll fall farther than he's ever gone before. And I won't look back.
I haven't heard a peep from him since that chat, so I'm assuming that he's taking his thinking trip seriously. More than likely, he has his phone turned off or it's been left at home. Good. I want him to decide what he needs in his life. It might not necessarily mean me, and if it's not, well, I hope he's deciding how to get past that. I also sincerely hope that he takes my advice to heart. And if he decides that he needs my help, or if he needs me, then yes, against all advice, I'll probably give it to him ... as long as he follows through with the protection clauses.
This is who I am. Wrong or right, I cannot deny this part of myself ... It's a part of me that's always been there.
I'm going to get in trouble for this entry, I know, but I have given this a lot of careful thought. And I'm not going to run blindly back.
Still getting new possibilities from e-Harmony. I'm beginning to think that there are a LOT of guys out there that either don't check their mail, or they are trying to get through this without paying the fee. Seriously, why use this site if you aren't going to respond? Hercules said to be picky, so I am. In fact, I may be being a bit harsh in a couple cases. I felt a bit bad about that until one guy sent me a set of questions that woke me up a bit. Woke me up to the fact that I had been responding simply because I felt it was expected, not necessarily because I felt the need to. No spark. In fact, I was hesitating at times when I answered their inquiries and it wasn't because I was thinking of good answers. I had to give myself a poke ... this isn't a computer game. Pay attention, lackwit!
Somewhere out there is the guy that I need to feel fulfilled. I just wish he'd hurry and figure out who he is! I'm getting fidgety being the "odd man out".
Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou?
Sweet Dreams ...
Monday, June 28, 2010
"You Spin Me About ..."
June 28, 2010 - 18:42
you spin me right round ...
you spin me right round ...
you spin me right round, baby,
right round like a record, baby,
right round, round, round ...
you spin me right round, baby,
right round like a record, baby,
right round, round, round ...
So, the e-Harmony profile is going through the paces with some guys showing marginal interest, and others showing a bit more. I'm a really hot commodity with the older men, it seems. Still, nothing serious yet. A childhood friend of mine went through the process with very satisfying results and he advised me that NOW is the time to be picky with my choices because whomever makes it out the other end should be worth the trouble! Being picky makes me guilty when it involves the effort of others though. Still, I'm trying. Send some good vibes my way for a man that I want to wake up next to for the rest of our lives. ;)
Meanwhile, drama has not been avoided. I admit that I have never told Jade that I have an e-Harmony account. (At least, I don't remember saying anything about it, because I wasn't sure how to bring it up, for one thing. For another, it's not his business anymore.) Anyway, he appears to be in a bad head space right now. He got me on chat the other night and spoke openly with me as he rarely does. I recognised the patterns though. He'd put through this "mood" before. Jade really shouldn't drink when he's depressed ... but at the same time, it's the only way he can unload what he's thinking, so I can't be completely critical of it. It came down to this ... He's decided that he still loves me. Loves me, wants me, and can't have me. 'Cause I'd never be happy in Alberta. The conversation got a bit "drunk" at that point, but he's turned us into star-crossed lovers, which, while somewhat poetic and romantic, is completely incorrect. Proof that he'd been drinking - he gets a thought in his head and there's no changing it.
Anyway, I gave the points he made a lot of thought. Then I e-mailed him the next morning ... I told him what there was for me in Alberta. Then I listed what I had in BC. They weren't long lists, but they were good lists. After that, a bit of heart to heart words ... and then I laid down the law. I told him that if he wanted to get back together with me, there were a few non-negotiable points that he would have to agree to. I listed them and the reasons for them.
Now I can hear some of you (okay, all of you) moaning and swearing at me that I should never go back to him because he treated me so badly the last round. I'm sure that you are right, and I shouldn't. Your phrasing may even be justified ... but he's sincere in his depression. Being who, and what, I am ... well, I can't ignore it.
I'm not going to sit back and wait for it to happen either. I'm ready to move on with my life ... whether he's in it or not. I'm not going to let this drama make me step back, fall back, or even stutter. He needs to decide what he wants ... and if it's me, then am I worth giving in to my protective demands.
Had a great day playing for the car show on Galiano Island ... my flourishes are progressing nicely. Especially in the Beer Song. I have fun with that one. On the way home, we were waiting for the ferry on Galiano and one of the pipers called us to the side of the pier ... At first I thought she was pointing to a baby seal perched on the end of the lower pier, eating fish, but then the 'seal' got up and walked further up the dock ... I was so surprised that I said out loud ... "Oh, it's a muskrat!" thankfully nobody laughed, but I'm sure there were smiles. I was corrected immediately. We were looking at an otter. HUGE thing. Made the otters at the San Diego Zoo look like miniatures. We watched him until he dove again, then Mr Roadie and I continued our conversation as we walked to the other side of the pier. While waiting, we saw a seal (yes, it was a seal this time!) surface twice (never on land though - more's the pity) and a kingfisher zipped by us.
I so love living here!
Anyway, that's the recent drama ... Can't wait to see what happens next!! ;)
Hugs to all!
Sweet Dreams!
you spin me right round ...
you spin me right round ...
you spin me right round, baby,
right round like a record, baby,
right round, round, round ...
you spin me right round, baby,
right round like a record, baby,
right round, round, round ...
So, the e-Harmony profile is going through the paces with some guys showing marginal interest, and others showing a bit more. I'm a really hot commodity with the older men, it seems. Still, nothing serious yet. A childhood friend of mine went through the process with very satisfying results and he advised me that NOW is the time to be picky with my choices because whomever makes it out the other end should be worth the trouble! Being picky makes me guilty when it involves the effort of others though. Still, I'm trying. Send some good vibes my way for a man that I want to wake up next to for the rest of our lives. ;)
Meanwhile, drama has not been avoided. I admit that I have never told Jade that I have an e-Harmony account. (At least, I don't remember saying anything about it, because I wasn't sure how to bring it up, for one thing. For another, it's not his business anymore.) Anyway, he appears to be in a bad head space right now. He got me on chat the other night and spoke openly with me as he rarely does. I recognised the patterns though. He'd put through this "mood" before. Jade really shouldn't drink when he's depressed ... but at the same time, it's the only way he can unload what he's thinking, so I can't be completely critical of it. It came down to this ... He's decided that he still loves me. Loves me, wants me, and can't have me. 'Cause I'd never be happy in Alberta. The conversation got a bit "drunk" at that point, but he's turned us into star-crossed lovers, which, while somewhat poetic and romantic, is completely incorrect. Proof that he'd been drinking - he gets a thought in his head and there's no changing it.
Anyway, I gave the points he made a lot of thought. Then I e-mailed him the next morning ... I told him what there was for me in Alberta. Then I listed what I had in BC. They weren't long lists, but they were good lists. After that, a bit of heart to heart words ... and then I laid down the law. I told him that if he wanted to get back together with me, there were a few non-negotiable points that he would have to agree to. I listed them and the reasons for them.
Now I can hear some of you (okay, all of you) moaning and swearing at me that I should never go back to him because he treated me so badly the last round. I'm sure that you are right, and I shouldn't. Your phrasing may even be justified ... but he's sincere in his depression. Being who, and what, I am ... well, I can't ignore it.
I'm not going to sit back and wait for it to happen either. I'm ready to move on with my life ... whether he's in it or not. I'm not going to let this drama make me step back, fall back, or even stutter. He needs to decide what he wants ... and if it's me, then am I worth giving in to my protective demands.
Had a great day playing for the car show on Galiano Island ... my flourishes are progressing nicely. Especially in the Beer Song. I have fun with that one. On the way home, we were waiting for the ferry on Galiano and one of the pipers called us to the side of the pier ... At first I thought she was pointing to a baby seal perched on the end of the lower pier, eating fish, but then the 'seal' got up and walked further up the dock ... I was so surprised that I said out loud ... "Oh, it's a muskrat!" thankfully nobody laughed, but I'm sure there were smiles. I was corrected immediately. We were looking at an otter. HUGE thing. Made the otters at the San Diego Zoo look like miniatures. We watched him until he dove again, then Mr Roadie and I continued our conversation as we walked to the other side of the pier. While waiting, we saw a seal (yes, it was a seal this time!) surface twice (never on land though - more's the pity) and a kingfisher zipped by us.
I so love living here!
Anyway, that's the recent drama ... Can't wait to see what happens next!! ;)
Hugs to all!
Sweet Dreams!
Saturday, June 26, 2010
I'm Playing With the Dance Band on the Titanic!
June 25, 2010 - 23:48
I'm pissed with my bank here on the island. thanks to them, I now have an NSF charge on my account. And, yes, it's their fault. I had made a payment through them to a credit card that I needed that weekend ... only to find out that that was the SLOWEST form of payment. In fact, it's so slow that it's been about 7 business days and the payment STILL HASN'T ARRIVED. So ... my storage unit, which was supposed to get paid from that card, tried to take money out of the account ... and there wasn't enough there. I'd better get some satisfaction or I'm closing that account. To heck with the "convenience" of an on island account. What good is a chequing account that won't give me cheques anyway?
I need to lose that storage unit ... Wish I had a driver for the truck!!
More misfortune ... although this may have been a good thing now. I had contacted somebody here about a scooter for sale. Less than $800 - sounded great. The owner drove it down to me for an inspection and I had my boss there to help with the inspection ... I test drove it and came to the conclusion that I could live with it. :) Apparently, Somebody disagreed ... on his way back home, the owner blew a tire and bent the rim. :( So, he's going to fix it, but he's on holiday now, so he won't be back until August. *sigh*
Added some photos to my e-Harmony profile. Hope my special somebody notices me soon ...
Well, I should be getting to bed ... I have Field Clean up Duty tomorrow. (For the upcoming Car Show - a fundraiser for the band.) Oh, yes, for those that hadn't heard yet, the competition in Squamish was good ... we received 2nd place! Whoo hoo!
*yawn* ... sorry ... bed, yes ... sleepy ...
Sweet Dreams!
I'm pissed with my bank here on the island. thanks to them, I now have an NSF charge on my account. And, yes, it's their fault. I had made a payment through them to a credit card that I needed that weekend ... only to find out that that was the SLOWEST form of payment. In fact, it's so slow that it's been about 7 business days and the payment STILL HASN'T ARRIVED. So ... my storage unit, which was supposed to get paid from that card, tried to take money out of the account ... and there wasn't enough there. I'd better get some satisfaction or I'm closing that account. To heck with the "convenience" of an on island account. What good is a chequing account that won't give me cheques anyway?
I need to lose that storage unit ... Wish I had a driver for the truck!!
More misfortune ... although this may have been a good thing now. I had contacted somebody here about a scooter for sale. Less than $800 - sounded great. The owner drove it down to me for an inspection and I had my boss there to help with the inspection ... I test drove it and came to the conclusion that I could live with it. :) Apparently, Somebody disagreed ... on his way back home, the owner blew a tire and bent the rim. :( So, he's going to fix it, but he's on holiday now, so he won't be back until August. *sigh*
Added some photos to my e-Harmony profile. Hope my special somebody notices me soon ...
Well, I should be getting to bed ... I have Field Clean up Duty tomorrow. (For the upcoming Car Show - a fundraiser for the band.) Oh, yes, for those that hadn't heard yet, the competition in Squamish was good ... we received 2nd place! Whoo hoo!
*yawn* ... sorry ... bed, yes ... sleepy ...
Sweet Dreams!
Tuesday, June 08, 2010
Today's Episode is Brought to You by *SNIKT*
June 8, 2010 - 18:35
I should be making supper right now, but Spot is comfortable and I just dealt with Mr. Jack's comments on the last entry, so I thought I would write something while I'm trapped in the chair. :)
I have no idea who this Jack is, or how "he" found my site. Perhaps, he searched through the blogs for the word 'eHarmony', I don't know, but I wasn't lying when I said that it was creepy ... and somewhat alarming. I have no idea what pics he's talking about though ... maybe he was answering the wrong site?? Dunno ... but I'll be keeping a geek eye on my computer, bub. *snikt* So don't get any ideas ...
What a ghastly weekend, I had. I can't completely blame Mom (well, I can, but I won't) as her heart was sort of in the right place. And I got many, many, many wonderful wishes. I was a bit awed by the number of them. Out of all the good wishes, though, 3 were glaringly absent. My brothers and my father. My younger brother, well, he always ignores it, so I'm used to it. But really ... what up with the other two? We're all on FB, so it's not hard to write a note! Everybody else did! *snikt* Geez! Even Jade managed to text me first thing on my birthday!!
Anyway, spent Saturday and rainy Sunday in Sidney with my parents ... in a motel. Did a bit of walking, a little bit of shopping, got some Barq's at a really good sale price :), but didn't get a cake. Got pizza delivered though. That was nice. Sunday dinner was just Mom and I, as Albert wasn't feeling up to going. He stayed home and watched sports. Barely saw him. Mom spent the time alternating between being happy and being resentful. She would not have been happy as a nurse.
That was my birthday weekend. Can only sigh about it though, right? On the bright side, she did leave me with the portable DVD player, so I got to watch a movie before practise yesterday. Wonder what I'll watch today?
I had a large number of "matches" waiting for me on my eH page, waiting for me to get my subscription, but I decided that that just wasn't fair, so I went through them at last. Sent a couple ice breakers, and allowed a few to see my profile report (which was wicked cool to ME when I read it!) I have no idea whether or not these guys have any indication about whether or not they can view that, but I hope so. It was a pretty good break down. I'm a little nervous about this whole computer dating thing ... but I've heard some good things, so ... yeah.
I have another competition coming up - I'm going to miss a day of work, so it's a good thing that my hours are improving for a bit while I'm covering for somebody's holidays. I'm stressed about it, but pipe major says it's all good and we're getting better, but I sometimes wonder how much of my performance he actually sees/hears ... and I get anxious all over again. I won't puke though. I always get strangely calm the day before ... and I'm good until the event. And after it's over, I'm so relaxed, I could be considered intoxicated with it.
Not too much else to say so ...
Thought for the Day: The only time you run out of chances is when you stop taking them.
Sweet Dreams!
I should be making supper right now, but Spot is comfortable and I just dealt with Mr. Jack's comments on the last entry, so I thought I would write something while I'm trapped in the chair. :)
I have no idea who this Jack is, or how "he" found my site. Perhaps, he searched through the blogs for the word 'eHarmony', I don't know, but I wasn't lying when I said that it was creepy ... and somewhat alarming. I have no idea what pics he's talking about though ... maybe he was answering the wrong site?? Dunno ... but I'll be keeping a geek eye on my computer, bub. *snikt* So don't get any ideas ...
What a ghastly weekend, I had. I can't completely blame Mom (well, I can, but I won't) as her heart was sort of in the right place. And I got many, many, many wonderful wishes. I was a bit awed by the number of them. Out of all the good wishes, though, 3 were glaringly absent. My brothers and my father. My younger brother, well, he always ignores it, so I'm used to it. But really ... what up with the other two? We're all on FB, so it's not hard to write a note! Everybody else did! *snikt* Geez! Even Jade managed to text me first thing on my birthday!!
Anyway, spent Saturday and rainy Sunday in Sidney with my parents ... in a motel. Did a bit of walking, a little bit of shopping, got some Barq's at a really good sale price :), but didn't get a cake. Got pizza delivered though. That was nice. Sunday dinner was just Mom and I, as Albert wasn't feeling up to going. He stayed home and watched sports. Barely saw him. Mom spent the time alternating between being happy and being resentful. She would not have been happy as a nurse.
That was my birthday weekend. Can only sigh about it though, right? On the bright side, she did leave me with the portable DVD player, so I got to watch a movie before practise yesterday. Wonder what I'll watch today?
I had a large number of "matches" waiting for me on my eH page, waiting for me to get my subscription, but I decided that that just wasn't fair, so I went through them at last. Sent a couple ice breakers, and allowed a few to see my profile report (which was wicked cool to ME when I read it!) I have no idea whether or not these guys have any indication about whether or not they can view that, but I hope so. It was a pretty good break down. I'm a little nervous about this whole computer dating thing ... but I've heard some good things, so ... yeah.
I have another competition coming up - I'm going to miss a day of work, so it's a good thing that my hours are improving for a bit while I'm covering for somebody's holidays. I'm stressed about it, but pipe major says it's all good and we're getting better, but I sometimes wonder how much of my performance he actually sees/hears ... and I get anxious all over again. I won't puke though. I always get strangely calm the day before ... and I'm good until the event. And after it's over, I'm so relaxed, I could be considered intoxicated with it.
Not too much else to say so ...
Thought for the Day: The only time you run out of chances is when you stop taking them.
Sweet Dreams!
Friday, June 04, 2010
Happy Days Are on the Horizon?
June 3, 2010 - 22:25
As usual, I've left this for forever and it's almost time for bed now, but I thought I should get something down ... nothing happening on Facebook. :)
Some good things have come my way lately ... the best of which being that I have water pressure at home AT LAST!! My room-mate was warning me that he was going to leave at the end of the month if it didn't get fixed, so I put the nag on the landlord. I know he's busy and I'm pretty easy going about waiting, but my roomie is not. Which is a good thing right now.
My mother has offered to help with my choice of two needs - bring my stuff over, or get a scooter. She was pushing for my stuff, but I wanted the scooter. After some thought I decided that getting my stuff here was probably the better plan ... and now she's thinking about getting the scooter. :( Grrr ... This would be an easier decision if I had somebody who could drive the truck here. Hiring a company to do it for me will be SO expensive! :( Hopefully my income tax arrives soon and I can get a few bucks in my accounts ... and I can breathe better. I'm also finally transferring my auto payment accounts here so that I can reach them when I need to.
I finally won something at the Meat Draw that the Pipe & Drum Band hosts ... I'm thrilled with what I picked. Prime Rib steak, lean ground beef, pork chops, and boneless, skinless chicken breast. Now if only had my stuff here so that I could COOK it!! :) Still, $40 worth of meat for only $5 (spent on tickets) is a deal that I can freeze for future purposes!
I have a tomato plant, two watermelons, and a strawberry all waiting to be potted and put outside. I plan on seeding carrots, corn, and a pumpkin if it's not too late. Thankfully, the growing season here is a bit longer than I am used to, so I might get away with it. Just need to buy the tubs and the dirt.
I'm told that my income tax will be a very reasonable amount, but could be more ... if I can find more paperwork ... which I'm afraid is in storage, but I'm looking ... I'm looking!!
On a spur of the moment, I filled out an eHarmony profile. I'm getting matches, but ran out of time to talk to them as I have to have a subscription. :( So I am going to hope that these nice matches are patient and will wait until next payday?
Sweet Dreams ...
As usual, I've left this for forever and it's almost time for bed now, but I thought I should get something down ... nothing happening on Facebook. :)
Some good things have come my way lately ... the best of which being that I have water pressure at home AT LAST!! My room-mate was warning me that he was going to leave at the end of the month if it didn't get fixed, so I put the nag on the landlord. I know he's busy and I'm pretty easy going about waiting, but my roomie is not. Which is a good thing right now.
My mother has offered to help with my choice of two needs - bring my stuff over, or get a scooter. She was pushing for my stuff, but I wanted the scooter. After some thought I decided that getting my stuff here was probably the better plan ... and now she's thinking about getting the scooter. :( Grrr ... This would be an easier decision if I had somebody who could drive the truck here. Hiring a company to do it for me will be SO expensive! :( Hopefully my income tax arrives soon and I can get a few bucks in my accounts ... and I can breathe better. I'm also finally transferring my auto payment accounts here so that I can reach them when I need to.
I finally won something at the Meat Draw that the Pipe & Drum Band hosts ... I'm thrilled with what I picked. Prime Rib steak, lean ground beef, pork chops, and boneless, skinless chicken breast. Now if only had my stuff here so that I could COOK it!! :) Still, $40 worth of meat for only $5 (spent on tickets) is a deal that I can freeze for future purposes!
I have a tomato plant, two watermelons, and a strawberry all waiting to be potted and put outside. I plan on seeding carrots, corn, and a pumpkin if it's not too late. Thankfully, the growing season here is a bit longer than I am used to, so I might get away with it. Just need to buy the tubs and the dirt.
I'm told that my income tax will be a very reasonable amount, but could be more ... if I can find more paperwork ... which I'm afraid is in storage, but I'm looking ... I'm looking!!
On a spur of the moment, I filled out an eHarmony profile. I'm getting matches, but ran out of time to talk to them as I have to have a subscription. :( So I am going to hope that these nice matches are patient and will wait until next payday?
Sweet Dreams ...
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Light My Fire
May 12, 2010 - 22:05
Just so you know, comments have been answered in the comments section where questions were asked.
Here is a URL to see what tenor drumming is like. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7X83KG7chhM&feature=related This girl a is a top scorer ... and I must point out that I have a different style. For one thing, I've worked my music out for myself. (I guess you could say that I wrote it.) And I've only been playing for about two weeks. Or rather, it's been about two weeks since my instrument was finally EXPLAINED to me. One of the main things everybody agrees on though is this ... There are two kinds of players for the tenor. Those that never flourish, and those that never actually touch the drum. I hope to create a third category that places me somewhere in the middle. I wish to play as much as I flourish. By the by, "flourish" means "spin the sticks" ... A tenor drummer is considered the "cheerleader" of the group ... without the short skirt. (Sorry, guys.)
So, I have adopted a microwave, a slow cooker, and a vacuum. I have also borrowed a sofa until I can find one for myself. I pray that my roomie doesn't drink coffee. then again, I don't drink it, so he's on his own in that department anyway. LOL! I noticed that the sofa is stained (as well as dirty and ripped) so it may not improve the smell of the place, but at least I can wash the cushion covers and I'll have a place to sit and read, or chat with a friend. It's temporary, and rent-free, so I'm not going to be fussy about the condition.
Roomie shows up this Friday, so I have to get all my cleaning done tomorrow. As well as get money out of the bank for this month's rent (which I haven't given yet.) *sigh* Stupid money problems. I hope that my income taxes come back fast. :( I wanna go to Jasper!
I also have to bust my butt and get my flourishes practised. I may be competing at the Highlander Games after all. I'll have to be ready, just in case. Not sure if I should be nervous or not. I managed to impress a half-blind legion member (Ret. Navy) at the parade ... I doubt I'll be so lucky with the judges.
I have a PartyLite party this Saturday as well! Cross your fingers for me, as this may earn me some groceries! Whoop!! Going to be a good turnout, I'm sure, because I'll be sharing the party with a company that sells adult toys, etc. Bring on the PASTA! LOL! Also, the lady who helped me to open my account may be making an online order as well. That would be sweet ... Really. Especially if she spreads the word!
and on that note, I'm off to bed. I spend a lot of time in the sun at work, now that it's stopped raining every day, and I'm TIRED! I re-organised racks, built a pond, faced the store, and watered EVERYTHING. and all the while, the customers "kept coming, and going, and going and coming ... and always too soon." I'm pooped.
Sweet Dreams!
Just so you know, comments have been answered in the comments section where questions were asked.
Here is a URL to see what tenor drumming is like. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7X83KG7chhM&feature=related This girl a is a top scorer ... and I must point out that I have a different style. For one thing, I've worked my music out for myself. (I guess you could say that I wrote it.) And I've only been playing for about two weeks. Or rather, it's been about two weeks since my instrument was finally EXPLAINED to me. One of the main things everybody agrees on though is this ... There are two kinds of players for the tenor. Those that never flourish, and those that never actually touch the drum. I hope to create a third category that places me somewhere in the middle. I wish to play as much as I flourish. By the by, "flourish" means "spin the sticks" ... A tenor drummer is considered the "cheerleader" of the group ... without the short skirt. (Sorry, guys.)
So, I have adopted a microwave, a slow cooker, and a vacuum. I have also borrowed a sofa until I can find one for myself. I pray that my roomie doesn't drink coffee. then again, I don't drink it, so he's on his own in that department anyway. LOL! I noticed that the sofa is stained (as well as dirty and ripped) so it may not improve the smell of the place, but at least I can wash the cushion covers and I'll have a place to sit and read, or chat with a friend. It's temporary, and rent-free, so I'm not going to be fussy about the condition.
Roomie shows up this Friday, so I have to get all my cleaning done tomorrow. As well as get money out of the bank for this month's rent (which I haven't given yet.) *sigh* Stupid money problems. I hope that my income taxes come back fast. :( I wanna go to Jasper!
I also have to bust my butt and get my flourishes practised. I may be competing at the Highlander Games after all. I'll have to be ready, just in case. Not sure if I should be nervous or not. I managed to impress a half-blind legion member (Ret. Navy) at the parade ... I doubt I'll be so lucky with the judges.
I have a PartyLite party this Saturday as well! Cross your fingers for me, as this may earn me some groceries! Whoop!! Going to be a good turnout, I'm sure, because I'll be sharing the party with a company that sells adult toys, etc. Bring on the PASTA! LOL! Also, the lady who helped me to open my account may be making an online order as well. That would be sweet ... Really. Especially if she spreads the word!
and on that note, I'm off to bed. I spend a lot of time in the sun at work, now that it's stopped raining every day, and I'm TIRED! I re-organised racks, built a pond, faced the store, and watered EVERYTHING. and all the while, the customers "kept coming, and going, and going and coming ... and always too soon." I'm pooped.
Sweet Dreams!
Saturday, May 08, 2010
Oh, Say Can You See ... My Happy Glow From Over There?
(aka I Am ... the Queen of Tenor Drums)
May 8, 2010 - 21:27
VE Parade Day. For those who aren't in the know, and I was one of them, today is the 65th anniversary of the Victory in Europe. Which means that yesterday was the anniversary of the day that the Germans surrendered. Earlier this week was the anniversary of the Battle of the Atlantic. If you don't know what these are, then our schools suck indeed, you skipped, or you were just not paying attention. Google them.
Anyway, today didn't start of too well. I didn't sleep very well, for one ... which means that the alarm went off WAY too early. I didn't know how half of my uniform went on, so I stuffed most of it into a bag. (Coolest part was the knife in my sock ... Yes, I was armed all day. No, nobody was killed, but it was close.) And then ... my toilet exploded. Okay, minor exaggeration. A seal had deteriorated in the ball cock and it was spraying water every time I flushed. Apparently, they started last night, but I didn't notice until I reached for a bit of toilet paper ... and found a completely soaked roll. A full roll, of course. What a waste. No time to fix it. Land lord (who conveniently lives next door) came over as soon as I got home from the ferry and he fixed it for now.
I digress again ... The parade ... WAS FANTASTIC! AND SO WAS I!!! There were two other tenors drummers there and I worried a bit when I heard that the bands would be playing together, but it worked out like a dream. I pointed out that I'd go in the middle. (Parade was three player wide.) This would balance things visually with our kilts as well as our style, because I wasn't flourishing yet. Technically, I'd been a member since early this year (Robbie Burns Night) but I'd only really been playing for about two weeks. So had one of the other tenors, and he was happy to hide his possible mistakes by not being right beside his usual partner, who has been playing for seven years. By the way, her evaluation of my performance was that even though I didn't flourish, I had a wicked supportive beat. I'm not traditional, but I like my drum style, and so does my Pipe Major and my Drum Sargent (who was unfortunately absent today) so things are going well for me. We played another couple of sets after the parade while the guests ate supper ... I got lots of nods/winks of approval from my band mates as we played and the Pipe Sargent made sure I knew that he particularly liked the beat to a song we'd just played.
Who needs drugs?!?
After the parade/ceremony, we headed over to a legion Seniors lodge and thrilled them with a mini parade, just for them. People on the street who were passing by stopped, pulled over, etc to watch and listen. If you thought my accomplishments couldn't get any brighter, well, you underestimated me. The earlier confidence booster gave me a new level to climb from. I not only performed excellent beatings, I FLOURISHED ... and didn't miss a beat doing it. Simple flourishes, but enough to make the seniors ecstatic and get applause from the bystanders.
Can you see the glow from your place?? Perhaps you are wondering why the sun is taking so long to set? :)
So I have a happy heart, sore feet, stiff neck, and I'm utterly pooped ... and I'd go again tomorrow if I could!!
Thought for the day ... I don't need a man who sparkles in direct sunlight, but ... I do admit that I'd like one who looks like he should!
Sweet Dreams!!
May 8, 2010 - 21:27
VE Parade Day. For those who aren't in the know, and I was one of them, today is the 65th anniversary of the Victory in Europe. Which means that yesterday was the anniversary of the day that the Germans surrendered. Earlier this week was the anniversary of the Battle of the Atlantic. If you don't know what these are, then our schools suck indeed, you skipped, or you were just not paying attention. Google them.
Anyway, today didn't start of too well. I didn't sleep very well, for one ... which means that the alarm went off WAY too early. I didn't know how half of my uniform went on, so I stuffed most of it into a bag. (Coolest part was the knife in my sock ... Yes, I was armed all day. No, nobody was killed, but it was close.) And then ... my toilet exploded. Okay, minor exaggeration. A seal had deteriorated in the ball cock and it was spraying water every time I flushed. Apparently, they started last night, but I didn't notice until I reached for a bit of toilet paper ... and found a completely soaked roll. A full roll, of course. What a waste. No time to fix it. Land lord (who conveniently lives next door) came over as soon as I got home from the ferry and he fixed it for now.
I digress again ... The parade ... WAS FANTASTIC! AND SO WAS I!!! There were two other tenors drummers there and I worried a bit when I heard that the bands would be playing together, but it worked out like a dream. I pointed out that I'd go in the middle. (Parade was three player wide.) This would balance things visually with our kilts as well as our style, because I wasn't flourishing yet. Technically, I'd been a member since early this year (Robbie Burns Night) but I'd only really been playing for about two weeks. So had one of the other tenors, and he was happy to hide his possible mistakes by not being right beside his usual partner, who has been playing for seven years. By the way, her evaluation of my performance was that even though I didn't flourish, I had a wicked supportive beat. I'm not traditional, but I like my drum style, and so does my Pipe Major and my Drum Sargent (who was unfortunately absent today) so things are going well for me. We played another couple of sets after the parade while the guests ate supper ... I got lots of nods/winks of approval from my band mates as we played and the Pipe Sargent made sure I knew that he particularly liked the beat to a song we'd just played.
Who needs drugs?!?
After the parade/ceremony, we headed over to a legion Seniors lodge and thrilled them with a mini parade, just for them. People on the street who were passing by stopped, pulled over, etc to watch and listen. If you thought my accomplishments couldn't get any brighter, well, you underestimated me. The earlier confidence booster gave me a new level to climb from. I not only performed excellent beatings, I FLOURISHED ... and didn't miss a beat doing it. Simple flourishes, but enough to make the seniors ecstatic and get applause from the bystanders.
Can you see the glow from your place?? Perhaps you are wondering why the sun is taking so long to set? :)
So I have a happy heart, sore feet, stiff neck, and I'm utterly pooped ... and I'd go again tomorrow if I could!!
Thought for the day ... I don't need a man who sparkles in direct sunlight, but ... I do admit that I'd like one who looks like he should!
Sweet Dreams!!
Friday, May 07, 2010
Takin' the High Road ...
May 7, 2010 - 22:00
I can't write much as Ihave to get off to bed right quick. It's going to be an early morning as I have to play in a parade tomorrow. I thought I'd be puking all day with nerves, but I've been calm all day. Odd. I hope I can sleep ...
I also hope that somebody gets pics of me in my kilt. :)
Thank you to Jackie and Sandee for their glowing support, and Lavendar for her immediate nags upon discovering that I am online again. Yes, you heard it .. I'm back. I have no funiture, dishes, cooking supplies, or a microwave ... but I am online and in contact with my loved ones.
My new place is a 3 bedroom, double wide trailer. Rent is $900/month, and I've got a roomie coming mid-month to help with that. My hours are also going to be picking up in June (if not before), so I should still be able to afford to go to my birthday bash in Jasper. Might even be able to afford a tent. Maybe. Meanwhile, I'm saving ... and saving ... and wondering how I'm going to get there! LOL!
I know I have more to say, but my brain is fried from all the work I did today. Work was super busy, and then I cleaned my old place after that ... and PB&J just doesn't cut it for an energy recovering meal. I need a microwave ...
Oh, I do have a piece of good news ... somebody on the island wants to have a candle party with me ... combined with a "Joy Toy" show ... LOL! Should produce some good sales, and maybe I can get that microwave! :)
Sweet Dreams!
I can't write much as Ihave to get off to bed right quick. It's going to be an early morning as I have to play in a parade tomorrow. I thought I'd be puking all day with nerves, but I've been calm all day. Odd. I hope I can sleep ...
I also hope that somebody gets pics of me in my kilt. :)
Thank you to Jackie and Sandee for their glowing support, and Lavendar for her immediate nags upon discovering that I am online again. Yes, you heard it .. I'm back. I have no funiture, dishes, cooking supplies, or a microwave ... but I am online and in contact with my loved ones.
My new place is a 3 bedroom, double wide trailer. Rent is $900/month, and I've got a roomie coming mid-month to help with that. My hours are also going to be picking up in June (if not before), so I should still be able to afford to go to my birthday bash in Jasper. Might even be able to afford a tent. Maybe. Meanwhile, I'm saving ... and saving ... and wondering how I'm going to get there! LOL!
I know I have more to say, but my brain is fried from all the work I did today. Work was super busy, and then I cleaned my old place after that ... and PB&J just doesn't cut it for an energy recovering meal. I need a microwave ...
Oh, I do have a piece of good news ... somebody on the island wants to have a candle party with me ... combined with a "Joy Toy" show ... LOL! Should produce some good sales, and maybe I can get that microwave! :)
Sweet Dreams!
Thursday, April 22, 2010
La!
(aka Just a Quick Note!)
April 22, 2010 - 15:14
Can't say much at the moment as the library will be kicking me out soon, but here's the current scoop.
I'm doing very well at the hardware store, but my hours haven't picked up yet, so money is very slim. For example, I bought groceries and am now $100 short for rent. Rent is only $400/month. Yeah, it sucks. So I'm looking for a second job ... which is leading me to getting even more in debt as I am trying to locate a scooter so that I have transportation! I will also have to find a new place for the end of May ... so, second job, please hurry!
Jade came to visit at the beginning of the month. Have very mixed feelings about that. Also, very mixed readings from him. He once told me that I don't read him very well anymore. That was never true ... I just didn't always know what to do with what I saw! Didn't this time either. Ah, but short as the time was, it was very good to have somebody with me for a while. Very good ... and very difficult when he left. Strange fact ... I never see snakes except when I'm with him. Saw many of them while he was here ... and nothing after he left. What's up with that? Not sure how to read it ... so many posiblities.
I've lost over 20 pounds since Superbowl ... and things are getting better, so I'm happy. Sad that it got so far, so fast, but relieved that it wasn't permanent! Don't ask me what my weight was to start with. My size didn't match it anyway, but geez ... it was still a horrible number.
My thanks to those who comment and nag at me from other places. I'm sorry that I'm not able to update more often. Hopefully my new place will be internet friendly and you'll see me much more often. Welcome, Sandee! *hug*
Time to go ... from my island paradise, I wish you all good fortune, and happy times ... with good weather to match it!
Sweet Dreams!
April 22, 2010 - 15:14
Can't say much at the moment as the library will be kicking me out soon, but here's the current scoop.
I'm doing very well at the hardware store, but my hours haven't picked up yet, so money is very slim. For example, I bought groceries and am now $100 short for rent. Rent is only $400/month. Yeah, it sucks. So I'm looking for a second job ... which is leading me to getting even more in debt as I am trying to locate a scooter so that I have transportation! I will also have to find a new place for the end of May ... so, second job, please hurry!
Jade came to visit at the beginning of the month. Have very mixed feelings about that. Also, very mixed readings from him. He once told me that I don't read him very well anymore. That was never true ... I just didn't always know what to do with what I saw! Didn't this time either. Ah, but short as the time was, it was very good to have somebody with me for a while. Very good ... and very difficult when he left. Strange fact ... I never see snakes except when I'm with him. Saw many of them while he was here ... and nothing after he left. What's up with that? Not sure how to read it ... so many posiblities.
I've lost over 20 pounds since Superbowl ... and things are getting better, so I'm happy. Sad that it got so far, so fast, but relieved that it wasn't permanent! Don't ask me what my weight was to start with. My size didn't match it anyway, but geez ... it was still a horrible number.
My thanks to those who comment and nag at me from other places. I'm sorry that I'm not able to update more often. Hopefully my new place will be internet friendly and you'll see me much more often. Welcome, Sandee! *hug*
Time to go ... from my island paradise, I wish you all good fortune, and happy times ... with good weather to match it!
Sweet Dreams!
Saturday, March 06, 2010
Pop Goes the World
(aka Get Your Own Bubbles!!)
March 6, 2010 - 10:03
Does anybody remember the WKRP episode where Johnny Fever realised that people were actually listening to him? Or Mark's reaction in Pump Up the Volume when he realised that he was reaching more listeners than he thought? Picture that surprise ... on the positive side, of course, because my writing isn't getting people to do things that will pop up on the News ... when I get little notes from people like Sandee. Thank you for your note, and I'm glad that you are enjoying the entries.
(PS. Remembering those shows doesn't make me OLD ... it means that I have a great memory. And a DVD player. And maybe that I don't get out enough. :) 'Nuff said.)
Erishvenan ... I only know one person who talks like that. So, if you are who I think you are, then, thank you. And if you aren't ... welcome, but I'll never remember your name! :) (Although it is vaguely familiar ...)
Lavender, darling, if you insist on signing in, then remember to not use your code name. I can't protect your identity (or others tied to us) if you tell everybody. <3 Love you.
Okay ... what's going on in my life. Well, first, I apologise for not writing more often. Island time is only going to make things a bit worse ... but I will struggle to keep my bit of city girl for this, if nothing else. Otherwise, things tend to not happen here. To other people ... :)
The new job is going very well. The boss called me on my day off and made sure to tell me what a great job I did while he was away. He was actually calling to make sure I knew what my next shift was, but he made it a point to say this to me, and he sounded like he really meant it. These positive displays are going to take some getting used to, but I think I'm going to like it! I'm still PT for the next week, but he says that things are getting busier already and that I should be able to achieve more and more hours fairly soon. AND I'm getting along with all my co-workers. May this dream never end. It could only get better if I could add winning the lotto and finding "Prince Charming" ... who won't sparkle in direct sunlight, but he'll look like he should.
Band practises are slogging away. I've been trying to work things out for myself because I don't have sheet music to work with, don't know the songs, and I've been abandonned by the one person who had a clue (the other tenor drummer). It's been particularily irritating that the bass drummer misses every other practise lately, so I have to fill in ... meaning I'm not learning my own instrument. I'm getting a bit better with the twirling, but I know that I don't practise anywhere near enough. I will get better though. And I'm going to look hot in my kilt.
I've been having some luck with locating a new place to live. I have an interview on Sunday with a gentleman who is willing to let me rent his place out, but for only a couple of months, because he wants it for the summer. There is a suite down the road from me as well, but I haven't yet been able to contact them becuse they only come to the island every second weekend. Depending on how things go with interview #1, I'll tape a note to their door. That way I won't miss them. Getting my things down to me is still a sore point ... but things will get better. Might have to make arrangements with friends, but whether I come myself or not, I'll still need somebody to drive the truck! Do YOU feel safe with the idea of my driving a 16ft moving truck? How about if you were traveling in front of me? Either way, I won't be by myself if I have to drive it. That's that.
Ah, yes ... and let us not forget the drama that continues to haunt me. Although I really wish that I could. There's nothing worse than walking happily along, thinking about how well things are working out ... and suddenly getting hit in the back of the head with a 2X4. Mental pictures aside, that what it feels like, people!
I got a note yesterday on FB ... from somebody I have never met, or even talked to, or heard about. Her message was this --> "not sure if you know this but it was your best friend (Jackie) who was sleeping with your fiance last year. remember when you found the red hair? well it was hers. Why am i telling you? because i think it was a scum bag move what she did and you deserve to know. No one should do that to their best friend. No one"
I know that it's a bad habit to pick a scab, but it's really painful to have somebody else do it. Why is she doing this? Well, she says it. Or at least part of it. I'm sure there's more to it than making sure I know. Why now? I dont know. Jade and I are not together, although we continue to communicate with each other. From the sound of things, this note was not to hurt me, or Jade, but to lash out at Jackie. The girl's FB profile gave me no clues ... we have no friends in common. I asked Jackie if she knew who she was ... and she said that she did. That she was a girl that Jackie had worked with. A girl who had walked out on the job, and made Jackie look bad. Well, that supports the lashing out theory.
But it's opened an old wound. A doubt that is beginning to fester a bit. This isn't the first time that somebody has tried to tell me that Jackie has been unfaithful to me with Jade. And I don't even care if they did, really. What bothers me the most is that Jade has denied cheating on me, but that Jackie has said ... nothing. She neither confirms, nor denies ... but you can feel the discomfort coming off of her in waves. It bothers me that she doesn't protest her innoncence. Even if it was a lie, I'd expect her to make a protest, at least. Nothing. It's partially my fault, I guess. I've never asked her directly. Just given her opportunities to volunteer a comment ... and I allowed her silence. I've hidden it away where I didn't have to see it and continued on. Beacause Jackie is a very important person to me ... and also because I was in no condition to deal with the added ordeal. But it's still there between us. A fence, if not a wall. It can be gotten over, or arround, but it's still there.
So, I'm at the end of my rope, grasping for a solution. My first response was to tell them both that if I hear one more rumour I would block them both. Cut them out of my life like a cancer. Both answers were typical. Jade wanted to know why somebody was even bothering to tell me about this NOW when I am so far away and we've been split for so long. He doesn't care what people say. (Typical response, but comforting, in a way.) Jackie ... all she said was that she didn't know what to say to that. (Not comforting, but she deals with shock like I do.)
If I'm going to be honest with myself (and really, of the three of us, I know I can trust me) then I have to admit that if she continues to say nothing because she's afraid of losing me, then she's going to lose me anyway. This isn't going to go away. It needs closure. We can either close a door together, or I can close it on her. I'm prepared to do either.
And that's that, I'm afraid.
I feel that I must point out that I haven't really taken the opportunity to say all of this to Jackie ... she's learning all this just as you are. Reading it here. Which is beyond rude, in my mind, but then, so is the situation. I love them both and shouldn't have to decide if they are actually a poison to my soul.
What was it that I said to Lavender the last night? I wish I had written it down ... Came down to this ... I don't need Jade to make me beautiful. Whether he is in my life, or out of it, I am a beautful, sexy woman with a lot to offer the right guy. And whomever Jade sleeps with, or has slept with, isn't going to change that.
It took a lot of pain, and a lot of love, to become the person that I am, and I'm not going to change that for anybody ... because anybody worth changing for wouldn't want me to.
Sweet Dreams!
PS. I'm pretty sure that I know the truth. I just want to hear Jackie's side so that I can put it behind me for good! I believe that this is fair. Then we can meet at our arranged dates in June without fences. I miss her too.
PPS. I also really miss my comics/manga, and my anime. (Yes, I had to say it.)
March 6, 2010 - 10:03
Does anybody remember the WKRP episode where Johnny Fever realised that people were actually listening to him? Or Mark's reaction in Pump Up the Volume when he realised that he was reaching more listeners than he thought? Picture that surprise ... on the positive side, of course, because my writing isn't getting people to do things that will pop up on the News ... when I get little notes from people like Sandee. Thank you for your note, and I'm glad that you are enjoying the entries.
(PS. Remembering those shows doesn't make me OLD ... it means that I have a great memory. And a DVD player. And maybe that I don't get out enough. :) 'Nuff said.)
Erishvenan ... I only know one person who talks like that. So, if you are who I think you are, then, thank you. And if you aren't ... welcome, but I'll never remember your name! :) (Although it is vaguely familiar ...)
Lavender, darling, if you insist on signing in, then remember to not use your code name. I can't protect your identity (or others tied to us) if you tell everybody. <3 Love you.
Okay ... what's going on in my life. Well, first, I apologise for not writing more often. Island time is only going to make things a bit worse ... but I will struggle to keep my bit of city girl for this, if nothing else. Otherwise, things tend to not happen here. To other people ... :)
The new job is going very well. The boss called me on my day off and made sure to tell me what a great job I did while he was away. He was actually calling to make sure I knew what my next shift was, but he made it a point to say this to me, and he sounded like he really meant it. These positive displays are going to take some getting used to, but I think I'm going to like it! I'm still PT for the next week, but he says that things are getting busier already and that I should be able to achieve more and more hours fairly soon. AND I'm getting along with all my co-workers. May this dream never end. It could only get better if I could add winning the lotto and finding "Prince Charming" ... who won't sparkle in direct sunlight, but he'll look like he should.
Band practises are slogging away. I've been trying to work things out for myself because I don't have sheet music to work with, don't know the songs, and I've been abandonned by the one person who had a clue (the other tenor drummer). It's been particularily irritating that the bass drummer misses every other practise lately, so I have to fill in ... meaning I'm not learning my own instrument. I'm getting a bit better with the twirling, but I know that I don't practise anywhere near enough. I will get better though. And I'm going to look hot in my kilt.
I've been having some luck with locating a new place to live. I have an interview on Sunday with a gentleman who is willing to let me rent his place out, but for only a couple of months, because he wants it for the summer. There is a suite down the road from me as well, but I haven't yet been able to contact them becuse they only come to the island every second weekend. Depending on how things go with interview #1, I'll tape a note to their door. That way I won't miss them. Getting my things down to me is still a sore point ... but things will get better. Might have to make arrangements with friends, but whether I come myself or not, I'll still need somebody to drive the truck! Do YOU feel safe with the idea of my driving a 16ft moving truck? How about if you were traveling in front of me? Either way, I won't be by myself if I have to drive it. That's that.
Ah, yes ... and let us not forget the drama that continues to haunt me. Although I really wish that I could. There's nothing worse than walking happily along, thinking about how well things are working out ... and suddenly getting hit in the back of the head with a 2X4. Mental pictures aside, that what it feels like, people!
I got a note yesterday on FB ... from somebody I have never met, or even talked to, or heard about. Her message was this --> "not sure if you know this but it was your best friend (Jackie) who was sleeping with your fiance last year. remember when you found the red hair? well it was hers. Why am i telling you? because i think it was a scum bag move what she did and you deserve to know. No one should do that to their best friend. No one"
I know that it's a bad habit to pick a scab, but it's really painful to have somebody else do it. Why is she doing this? Well, she says it. Or at least part of it. I'm sure there's more to it than making sure I know. Why now? I dont know. Jade and I are not together, although we continue to communicate with each other. From the sound of things, this note was not to hurt me, or Jade, but to lash out at Jackie. The girl's FB profile gave me no clues ... we have no friends in common. I asked Jackie if she knew who she was ... and she said that she did. That she was a girl that Jackie had worked with. A girl who had walked out on the job, and made Jackie look bad. Well, that supports the lashing out theory.
But it's opened an old wound. A doubt that is beginning to fester a bit. This isn't the first time that somebody has tried to tell me that Jackie has been unfaithful to me with Jade. And I don't even care if they did, really. What bothers me the most is that Jade has denied cheating on me, but that Jackie has said ... nothing. She neither confirms, nor denies ... but you can feel the discomfort coming off of her in waves. It bothers me that she doesn't protest her innoncence. Even if it was a lie, I'd expect her to make a protest, at least. Nothing. It's partially my fault, I guess. I've never asked her directly. Just given her opportunities to volunteer a comment ... and I allowed her silence. I've hidden it away where I didn't have to see it and continued on. Beacause Jackie is a very important person to me ... and also because I was in no condition to deal with the added ordeal. But it's still there between us. A fence, if not a wall. It can be gotten over, or arround, but it's still there.
So, I'm at the end of my rope, grasping for a solution. My first response was to tell them both that if I hear one more rumour I would block them both. Cut them out of my life like a cancer. Both answers were typical. Jade wanted to know why somebody was even bothering to tell me about this NOW when I am so far away and we've been split for so long. He doesn't care what people say. (Typical response, but comforting, in a way.) Jackie ... all she said was that she didn't know what to say to that. (Not comforting, but she deals with shock like I do.)
If I'm going to be honest with myself (and really, of the three of us, I know I can trust me) then I have to admit that if she continues to say nothing because she's afraid of losing me, then she's going to lose me anyway. This isn't going to go away. It needs closure. We can either close a door together, or I can close it on her. I'm prepared to do either.
And that's that, I'm afraid.
I feel that I must point out that I haven't really taken the opportunity to say all of this to Jackie ... she's learning all this just as you are. Reading it here. Which is beyond rude, in my mind, but then, so is the situation. I love them both and shouldn't have to decide if they are actually a poison to my soul.
What was it that I said to Lavender the last night? I wish I had written it down ... Came down to this ... I don't need Jade to make me beautiful. Whether he is in my life, or out of it, I am a beautful, sexy woman with a lot to offer the right guy. And whomever Jade sleeps with, or has slept with, isn't going to change that.
It took a lot of pain, and a lot of love, to become the person that I am, and I'm not going to change that for anybody ... because anybody worth changing for wouldn't want me to.
Sweet Dreams!
PS. I'm pretty sure that I know the truth. I just want to hear Jackie's side so that I can put it behind me for good! I believe that this is fair. Then we can meet at our arranged dates in June without fences. I miss her too.
PPS. I also really miss my comics/manga, and my anime. (Yes, I had to say it.)
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Things Are Looking Uphill ...
February 23, 2010 - 16:06
Feels like ages since I've talked with Greywhistle ... just thought I'd throw that out there.
SO!! My thanks to all my fabulous FB friends and family who dutifully and courteously crossed their fingers, and offerred other lucky signs and efforts ... I got the job I had been hoping for. Orientation is tomorrow and I'll learn about schedules and wages. I'll be starting in the store, and then focussing on the greenhouse when planting comes in full swing. I'm so excited about it! My only worries now are a place to live, getting my things to my new place from the storage site, and how to afford it all. So the stress isn't necessarily less, but the list of worries is shorter. :)
Even Jade is happy for me. He celebrated the occassion by agreeing to pitch in an amount of funds to keep my bank account from bouncing. Yay! I hope he comes through and actually does it. Ideally, he'll have the truck sold before I have to move in 3 weeks, but I don't know that I'm due for another miracle so soon. ;)
So Joyce has been here for about a week now and we haven't killed each other. (Which is amazing because she has a bad habit of timing her visits with my menstral cycle.) Anyway, we've got the house half packed. Getting to the point where we are thinking of what to leave out 'til last, so that I have something to play house with. :)
Did anybody get a chance to see the Canadian Figure Skating Dance Finals? OUTSTANDING!! Always makes me want to learn to skate ... nothing fancy, just some simple things to have fun with so that I'm not going in circles like a drone. Anyway, they were the best that I've seen in years. I normally have little patience for pairs skating, so this was kind of like an a-ha moment.
June is shaping up into a busy month. I've got a trip planned with friends for a birthday bash (shared with Jackie!), and I'll have a competition with the band as well. Will finally be trotted out to show off the twirling that I'm trying to hard to figure out. O.o!
Well, I have to run outside for more wood before my fire completely dies ... will write more soon. Hope everybody is well. Happy and healthy ... Spring is coming for the rest of you soon! ;)
Sweet Dreams!
Feels like ages since I've talked with Greywhistle ... just thought I'd throw that out there.
SO!! My thanks to all my fabulous FB friends and family who dutifully and courteously crossed their fingers, and offerred other lucky signs and efforts ... I got the job I had been hoping for. Orientation is tomorrow and I'll learn about schedules and wages. I'll be starting in the store, and then focussing on the greenhouse when planting comes in full swing. I'm so excited about it! My only worries now are a place to live, getting my things to my new place from the storage site, and how to afford it all. So the stress isn't necessarily less, but the list of worries is shorter. :)
Even Jade is happy for me. He celebrated the occassion by agreeing to pitch in an amount of funds to keep my bank account from bouncing. Yay! I hope he comes through and actually does it. Ideally, he'll have the truck sold before I have to move in 3 weeks, but I don't know that I'm due for another miracle so soon. ;)
So Joyce has been here for about a week now and we haven't killed each other. (Which is amazing because she has a bad habit of timing her visits with my menstral cycle.) Anyway, we've got the house half packed. Getting to the point where we are thinking of what to leave out 'til last, so that I have something to play house with. :)
Did anybody get a chance to see the Canadian Figure Skating Dance Finals? OUTSTANDING!! Always makes me want to learn to skate ... nothing fancy, just some simple things to have fun with so that I'm not going in circles like a drone. Anyway, they were the best that I've seen in years. I normally have little patience for pairs skating, so this was kind of like an a-ha moment.
June is shaping up into a busy month. I've got a trip planned with friends for a birthday bash (shared with Jackie!), and I'll have a competition with the band as well. Will finally be trotted out to show off the twirling that I'm trying to hard to figure out. O.o!
Well, I have to run outside for more wood before my fire completely dies ... will write more soon. Hope everybody is well. Happy and healthy ... Spring is coming for the rest of you soon! ;)
Sweet Dreams!
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Bringing "Sexy" Back
(aka. Welcome Back Aliens! We Missed You!)
February 18, 2010 - 01:06
Yes, another update that's overdue. But really, how can you complain that I don't write often enough when you don't either? Fair's fair, people!
Today's entry may border on the TMI, but ... well, who else can I tell?
I've been getting getting signs about my improved health left, right, and centre lately. Some take a moment or two to really sink in ... like laughing at a show, or movie, and realising that it didn't sound forced, or practised. Yesterday's sign ... that one made my brain do a double take.
This is the gooey part ...
From the tender age of ... egad, was I ever 14? ... I'd always had a very heavy menstral period. Even when I started to take The Pill, which was supposed to help control that, it remained heavy. (Which, of course, flabbergasted the doctor, but just about everything about me flabbergasted that man.) It wasn't until my stress levels took a giant leap that things began to lighten up, but it was still regular and reliable. For the last few years especially, it has been almost non-existent ... until yesterday. For the first time in over a decade, I can pretend to complain about bleeding to death again. To me, this is the ultimate inner sign that I am once again healthy - in mind and body. And not as close to menopause as I was starting to fear. :)
Gooey part over ... :)
Quite a few people attribute my newly relaxed state on the move to the island, and maybe that was beneficial in helping things along, but really, I was on the road to recovery before I got here. If I had stayed, who knows? It might have happened anyway. Slower, maybe ... but it would have happened eventually. Because I wanted it to, if for no other reason.
I'm looking forward to whatever is coming next for me. Something I haven't felt since I was a child. I'm not worrying about my now limited funds. I'm not breaking my nails with anxiety over what my next choice should be. About the What If's in my life. I'm not kicking myself about things I should have done differently. I'm completely in the Now ... for now, anyway. And it's wonderful. Because I'm happy.
If I manage to get a job and find a place, I'll be happy. If I have to call up my fairy god(dess)friend and say I'm coming home, I'll be happy to be there too. I have something to look forward to in both cases ... and how can I be sad about that?
My mother is here for a few days while she helps me pack up her things. She felt guilty about leaving me to do it by myself ... and I think she really wanted to visit.
Well, I'm off to bed, because things like this make me sleepy ... and hey, with restored functions and good sleep, can a slimmer, trimmer me be far off?
Sweet Dreams!
February 18, 2010 - 01:06
Yes, another update that's overdue. But really, how can you complain that I don't write often enough when you don't either? Fair's fair, people!
Today's entry may border on the TMI, but ... well, who else can I tell?
I've been getting getting signs about my improved health left, right, and centre lately. Some take a moment or two to really sink in ... like laughing at a show, or movie, and realising that it didn't sound forced, or practised. Yesterday's sign ... that one made my brain do a double take.
This is the gooey part ...
From the tender age of ... egad, was I ever 14? ... I'd always had a very heavy menstral period. Even when I started to take The Pill, which was supposed to help control that, it remained heavy. (Which, of course, flabbergasted the doctor, but just about everything about me flabbergasted that man.) It wasn't until my stress levels took a giant leap that things began to lighten up, but it was still regular and reliable. For the last few years especially, it has been almost non-existent ... until yesterday. For the first time in over a decade, I can pretend to complain about bleeding to death again. To me, this is the ultimate inner sign that I am once again healthy - in mind and body. And not as close to menopause as I was starting to fear. :)
Gooey part over ... :)
Quite a few people attribute my newly relaxed state on the move to the island, and maybe that was beneficial in helping things along, but really, I was on the road to recovery before I got here. If I had stayed, who knows? It might have happened anyway. Slower, maybe ... but it would have happened eventually. Because I wanted it to, if for no other reason.
I'm looking forward to whatever is coming next for me. Something I haven't felt since I was a child. I'm not worrying about my now limited funds. I'm not breaking my nails with anxiety over what my next choice should be. About the What If's in my life. I'm not kicking myself about things I should have done differently. I'm completely in the Now ... for now, anyway. And it's wonderful. Because I'm happy.
If I manage to get a job and find a place, I'll be happy. If I have to call up my fairy god(dess)friend and say I'm coming home, I'll be happy to be there too. I have something to look forward to in both cases ... and how can I be sad about that?
My mother is here for a few days while she helps me pack up her things. She felt guilty about leaving me to do it by myself ... and I think she really wanted to visit.
Well, I'm off to bed, because things like this make me sleepy ... and hey, with restored functions and good sleep, can a slimmer, trimmer me be far off?
Sweet Dreams!
Thursday, February 04, 2010
My Never-Ending Story
February 3, 2010 - 22:08
I've been staring at the screen for a while now. I know I should write, but I seem to be waiting for something. Not sure what. The right song. The right mood. The best phrasing for my thoughts. Maybe a little bit of everything. Maybe I'm fantasizing about the future too much ... Yeah, we can start there, I guess.
I've been dreading Valentine's Day for the first time in my life. I'm not sure why. I've been alone before. I've been dumped more than once, and still never fallen lower than wishful thinking. But, for the first time, I can't feel anything better than a despairing loneliness. Pain. Maybe in prior years I was able to hang on to something. Have I lost touch with hope? Can't be that ... hope is part of the deepest parts of my soul. Even death can't truly take it from me. It can change it, but not steal it. No, it's not hope that's missing. I think that faith is still there too. A little raggedy, and shaken up a bit, but still there within me. Or maybe the problem is that faith isn't strong enough? Perhaps I have trouble believing in my hopes at the moment.
I'll be fine though, I think. Everything will be alright.
So, for those who haven't noticed, I've recently made a move that surprised even me. I became a tenor drummer for the local Highlander Pipe & Drum Band. I'm looking forward to seeing what I can do with this and am pretty axcited about it all. Somebody alsed me why I'm bothering if I'm leaving ... and I pointed out that if I can get a decent job, then I'll stay. As much as I want to go home, I've got a very good environment here. But whether I stay or go, I'm here for another two months ... and I'm going to live life as it comes instead of turning away opportunities. This is also a new outlook for me. I've been basing decisions on the "What If" theory for most of my life. It's amazing how much a person will limit themselves because of something that may, or may not, happen and regret the things that they missed out on. So, whether I leave or not, I am here now amd I'm going to live my life while I'm here!
If I do come back, well, it will be easier than I expected. I had the most fantastic offer from a couple of friends that have been very concerned for me. (Not that others haven't been, but just wait for it.) After a bit of discussion between themselves, they sent me a note. They will loan me the money to come home, and let me stay at their place until I find a job and save up enough to survive on my own. They were even willing to have one of them come to get me so that I wouldn't be alone for the drive! This offer floored me. Seriously, I couldn't form a single rational thought that I could type back for along while.
This is why hope and faith haven't left me completely.
Had a bit of a harsh morning today too ... Admittedly, it started yesterday. I started to get hives on my legs, but didn't think anything of it. It was light and I figured that it would go away. And it did for a bit, but came back again ... and then I woke up this morning and I was almost one giant hive. Arms, legs, my face was covered, my eyes, ears and inside my throat were all puffy. Even the inside of my nose was itchy. I have no idea why. I haven't done, used, or touched, anything new. I first noticed the hives when I put on a pair of sweat pants that I hadn't worn in a while, but they were clean ... so I'm flabbergasted. Certainly doesn't explain why I reacted so strongly. My eyes are still puffy and on the tender side, but the hives seem to be going away. I'm down to a few red blotches now. I'm saving the next pill for before bed because it doesn't make me sleepy, so much as relaxed. Makes my head feel funny.
Makes me feel glad that I never wanted to try drugs. Ugh.
I have to figure out how to get my comics if I end up staying for a longer period of time. Hmm ... Star and the Shepherd both agree that it's pretty expensive to have things sent to the island, but I wonder if there's a way to make it feasible. I mean, I COULD transfer my file to Elfsar, but I'd really prefer to give my money to the Shepherd. (Wow, has it really been about 10 years since I tagged him with that title? Time flies.)
My mind is wandering more now, so it's time to put this entry to bed ...
Sweet Dreams!
I've been staring at the screen for a while now. I know I should write, but I seem to be waiting for something. Not sure what. The right song. The right mood. The best phrasing for my thoughts. Maybe a little bit of everything. Maybe I'm fantasizing about the future too much ... Yeah, we can start there, I guess.
I've been dreading Valentine's Day for the first time in my life. I'm not sure why. I've been alone before. I've been dumped more than once, and still never fallen lower than wishful thinking. But, for the first time, I can't feel anything better than a despairing loneliness. Pain. Maybe in prior years I was able to hang on to something. Have I lost touch with hope? Can't be that ... hope is part of the deepest parts of my soul. Even death can't truly take it from me. It can change it, but not steal it. No, it's not hope that's missing. I think that faith is still there too. A little raggedy, and shaken up a bit, but still there within me. Or maybe the problem is that faith isn't strong enough? Perhaps I have trouble believing in my hopes at the moment.
I'll be fine though, I think. Everything will be alright.
So, for those who haven't noticed, I've recently made a move that surprised even me. I became a tenor drummer for the local Highlander Pipe & Drum Band. I'm looking forward to seeing what I can do with this and am pretty axcited about it all. Somebody alsed me why I'm bothering if I'm leaving ... and I pointed out that if I can get a decent job, then I'll stay. As much as I want to go home, I've got a very good environment here. But whether I stay or go, I'm here for another two months ... and I'm going to live life as it comes instead of turning away opportunities. This is also a new outlook for me. I've been basing decisions on the "What If" theory for most of my life. It's amazing how much a person will limit themselves because of something that may, or may not, happen and regret the things that they missed out on. So, whether I leave or not, I am here now amd I'm going to live my life while I'm here!
If I do come back, well, it will be easier than I expected. I had the most fantastic offer from a couple of friends that have been very concerned for me. (Not that others haven't been, but just wait for it.) After a bit of discussion between themselves, they sent me a note. They will loan me the money to come home, and let me stay at their place until I find a job and save up enough to survive on my own. They were even willing to have one of them come to get me so that I wouldn't be alone for the drive! This offer floored me. Seriously, I couldn't form a single rational thought that I could type back for along while.
This is why hope and faith haven't left me completely.
Had a bit of a harsh morning today too ... Admittedly, it started yesterday. I started to get hives on my legs, but didn't think anything of it. It was light and I figured that it would go away. And it did for a bit, but came back again ... and then I woke up this morning and I was almost one giant hive. Arms, legs, my face was covered, my eyes, ears and inside my throat were all puffy. Even the inside of my nose was itchy. I have no idea why. I haven't done, used, or touched, anything new. I first noticed the hives when I put on a pair of sweat pants that I hadn't worn in a while, but they were clean ... so I'm flabbergasted. Certainly doesn't explain why I reacted so strongly. My eyes are still puffy and on the tender side, but the hives seem to be going away. I'm down to a few red blotches now. I'm saving the next pill for before bed because it doesn't make me sleepy, so much as relaxed. Makes my head feel funny.
Makes me feel glad that I never wanted to try drugs. Ugh.
I have to figure out how to get my comics if I end up staying for a longer period of time. Hmm ... Star and the Shepherd both agree that it's pretty expensive to have things sent to the island, but I wonder if there's a way to make it feasible. I mean, I COULD transfer my file to Elfsar, but I'd really prefer to give my money to the Shepherd. (Wow, has it really been about 10 years since I tagged him with that title? Time flies.)
My mind is wandering more now, so it's time to put this entry to bed ...
Sweet Dreams!
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