Excuse me ...

February 8, 2015 - 12:26

Mood: Don't ask. Lots of negativity swirling around right now.
Music: None.
Thought of the day: Do unto others ... you know the drill.

     I am NOT your punching bag. I did not agree to enter into this relationship because I wanted to practise my skills at putting up with a self centred, arrogant, dick head. Those are skills that I'd rather let go to rust, thank you very much. Everything is at your convenience, and everything that is not is apparently my fault. You get insulted over the most innocent of remarks. And you are worse when you are toking. (Especially when you started to mix it with pipe tobacco. You may wish to stop that.) It's like I'm dating two of my exes rolled into one douche bag. Congratulations. I hadn't thought that was previously possible.

     Yes, the relationship is just about the sex. I agreed to that, although it's not my preference by any stretch of the imagination. BUT that's still a relationship that requires respect, and trust. You offer me neither. What you have offered me is nothing I want to deal with. Not even to help you through your own issues, will I exacerbate my own. You scathingly bitch that I won't put the effort out to scrape together $3 for bus fare to come and massage your sore back? Seriously? I'm counting pennies with unemployment, and I have to be ready for whatever work assignment comes up next. Do you honestly think I used to walk to work in the mornings because I wanted to exercise? You lazy, fucking sod! You have a pass, and you have my address. (I still don't have yours, and now I don't want it.)

     I am at my limit for your rude comments, sneers, and general derision. Fuck you. You have issues? You have anxieties? So do I. You claimed that I was quiet and very introverted ... and then you bitch because I'm very introverted. Fuck off. The promise of sex is not worth the pain of your attitude. If I got off on that I'd still be dating Jade. I'm not going to walk on eggshells to maintain your sense of right in your world. That's a stress I don't deserve. That's something that nobody deserves. It's a stress that breaks people ... and nobody is worth breaking themselves over. Certainly, nobody is so worthless that they need to do it more than once. That's a trap that I will never re-enter.

    Geezus, Poe! You are killing yourself with that robe of negativity that you wrap yourself so tightly in. Acknowledge the positive in your life. There is some! Although, some of it just walked out ...

Sweet Dreams