20:17
This will be short as I'm about to be blinded by a head-ache. At least, it's intended to be short. I have a lot on my mind. I took some meds and a short nap, but that just dulled my migraine down to what it is now. An ache without the urge to throw up. I'll the good things in any size package.
The furnace is finally working. Amazing what a proper filter will do. Now we're fighting to keep it cool. I prefer a cooler house. Overly warm ones give me nose bleeds and head-aches.
Been on quite the emotional roller coaster lately. It's unfortunate that most of the trip is spent going down that it has been going up. Yesterday was a very good afternoon. I was happy all day. It was unusual enough for me to notice. I also noticed the relief in Jade when he came home to a happy me ... and I was happy all night. Today was a bad day again. I'm never sure why. I think it's the little things. I'm being buried alive in them.
Kinda chatted with Lynne a couple days ago. Fell out of my chair when I saw that she was trying to talk with me. Turned out to be her boyfriend, but she was "shouting" things from the background. There was no confirmed mention of anything I had sent her, and her cards are STILL not picked up. I'm going to delete them soon. I'm tired of the disappontment of seeing them sitting there.
She asked if I was doing anything for Yule. I told her I had nothing planned and got myself talked into having a dinner here. Okay, fine. I don't mind that, but ... this was all a strange reaction to me. Maybe it was just Colbat's typing. I don't know. I haven't heard from her since. I have no idea if she was serious about the dinner or if she was testing me. I don't know how many people she was planning on bringing - I'll only accept so many. And, you know, I don't think I'd get an answer if I asked. She hasn't answered anything so far!
So I came to the conclusion that I'm not going to count on her. I've agreed to have her over for supper. It's up to her to contact me for further details if she's coming. IF she doesn't, I'll assume it was a joke/test and I'll walk away without looking back.
I'm waiting for Elohelae to respond to my questions from last post. Lola's Girl is past due to write something as well. Chop, chop, people!
I've also been very upset in regards to my current D&D adventure. I've been trying to fit in since I got back - with minor success ... I thought. Basically, it's a big mess.
Originally there were the two of us - Wayne's cl-wife and myself. (If I had a nick for her, I can't think of it right now. Sorry.) When it came time to go back to working 7 days/wk, I was beyond pleased to hear that the adventure would be put on hold for me. Near the end of my summer job, I was asked if it was okay to invite others into the group - I was a bit hesitant, but could see the advantages of having some extra people to help fight the larger things ... I didn't expect the larger things to be the group.
I felt attacked by one of the characters on day one. In character AND out. I actually had to keep myself from physically pushing myself back into the cushions of my seat to try to escape. This made me angry and uncomfortable. I put it behind me. He wasn't there the next day and I got along just fine with the others. It's been, what, two months? And I have not seen a repeat of this behaviour at all ... so telling me that it was all in character is not flying far enough to reach that fan. And then recently he has the nerve to bring it up again and say that HE's not holding a grudge about it against ME? I got mad all over again.
Then came the e-mail from another character who mistakingly uses the wrong phrasing and makes me feel like my face had been slapped. This was not his intention and I know it ... so I waited to deal with it. That was at the beginning of the week. I still haven't dealt with it. With any of it.
I'm not sure I'll be continuing with this adventure. It's more stressful than fun. There are more rules than roleplaying - mostly due to our group size. Seven is just too many. We play six hours and we're very luck if we get through two battles in one session. Nobody is getting to know each other ... or, at least, I don't feel that my character is getting to know anybody any more than I am. I'm using this guy's description as an example, but so far most of them have said the same thing. Guy # 2 wants to know why the heck I'm still in the group. Innocently said - with all the precision of a finely honed blade. Translation: He accidentally hurt my feelings. Okay, he crushed them. I'll deal with it tomorrow.
I've started playing D&D on my PC again. I'm having a better time with it. I find this unfortunate. If I lose going to Wayne's for D&D, I limit my social interaction and getting out of the house to doctor's appointments and the little bit of shopping I can't afford to do.
GAH!
I've been thinking of going to Fairview for further training. Haven't got it all worked out yet. It's going to be a year before we get everyhting set up here anyway - might as well make use of the time, right? Increase my knowledge and therefore my wage expectations. Jade had originally suggested that I take a bit of a vet course, but going to Fairview will take that a step further.
Problem is, the course lasts a year. Could I deal with that?
I think I'll sleep on it.
Sweet Dreams!
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Thursday, November 23, 2006
I Am The Wall, Russ (aka Just Another Brick)
10:25
Persistance - an admirable trait that helps one to achieve goals, but please note - it is NOT a virtue I admire when you've been told 'no' at least three times already with comments as to why 'no' has been said and what it would take to make the answer 'yes'. Constant badgering is not one of those things. If you want something that badly, then find a compromise. By not changing anything in regards to circumstances, and persisting in asking the same question, over and over, you are showing that you don't care.
This is the attitude of a Prima Donna (aka Spoiled Brat) and I don't care to cater to it. It proves to me that you don't really care about my problems/concerns/life choices.
Note: If it has been snowing all morning, and by 10:00 the highways are snow covered/drifting snow and visibility is down to 'fair', and it's still snowing, and is expected to continue to snow for most of the day or longer, then NO, I'm not going to be going anywhere - especially to a function that you've been told several times is to late for Me! I've asked for it to start a bit earlier. You said 'no' because a certain person can't get there until late. What's stopping you from showing up early (like you do on days that this person doesn't come) and spending time with me (and whomever else wishes to show early) and then sticking around until the later people show up. You get to see me, you get to see them and everybody is relatively happy. But you haven't even thought of that. Because, as you are showing me, I'm not worth creating a compromise for.
After everything we've been through and everything that I've done for you, from small things to big (and none of those things selfishly put you in any danger) - this is your response? To be peevish because I'm not a party-type person or a night owl? And you still have the nerve to call yourself my friend? Are you mentally challenged? Remember when you asked me to tell you if/when you were being over-powering in the relationship? Well, here it is.
I am not a sycophant. For anybody. For anything. Get out of my life and don't come back until you are ready to be my friend again.
And that's all I have to say about that.
I got a call from the doctor's office yesterday. They are dragging me in again - this time to discuss the results of those tests I took. Why can't they tell me things over the phone??? If the tests show nothing, or at least, nothing new, then I'm going to be upset. No more hit or miss tests. Either he knows what I need, or he knows of a test that can find what's wrong faster and covering more of the bases. No more drugs. My body won't deal with anymore drugs that I don't need. He's killing my hair!
Bosh and bother! I'm tired of quacks.
So I'm passing white blood cells - so what? I'm not experiencing any pain or discomfort. I feel fine. Hasn't anybody heard of the 'wait and see' scenario? If I'm passing white blood cells, then it appears to me that my body is dealing with whatever it is. Leave it alone!
I'm slowly getting things into their proper spaces ... some books have come out, my desk has been tidied ... a few things have been put on the cork board (mostly to get it off my desk), statues have been unpacked, stuffed animals/friends have been retrieved. My office area is slowly getting organised ... it's not fun trying to get two rooms worth of stuff unto one shelf, but I'm managing. How? Magic. 'Nuff said.
I'm trying to find my picture hooks so that I can hang stuff up!! I've got the pictures spread out in the house, waiting to be hung. I wanna see what it looks like beforeI 'hang' others. It all has to feel a certain way, you know?
When I'm not working on the house or trying to relax on the computer, I'm doing exercises. I do a minimum of 40 crunchies/day and then spontaneous movements here and there. Touching toes, twisting, stretching - working the muscles in all areas and keeping the blood pumping. I've been playing with Spot alot too - which just thrills him! Gonna kill myself running around on this wood floorone day though. Death by fuzzy sock.
Hey, it beats death by a bucket of water!
I like this beta so far. I liek it very mcuh. I'd like it better if it didn't have sign in issues. Anyway, I was reviewing my entires and looking at how many achieved comments, when I came across one that I meant to go back to and never did. I think I'm ready now. Remember your promise to use this on your sites.
The original went as follows ...
If you comment on this post:
1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll challenge you to try something.
3. I'll pick a colour that I associate with you.
4. I'll tell you something I like about you.
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something I've always wanted to ask you.
8. If I do this for you, it would be appreciated if you posted this on yours.
Elohelae
1. It's difficult to take a man seriously when he appears to be named after an emoticon.
2. I challenge you to open your mind to other possibilites, even if it means shaking up your comfort zone.
3. Difficult to do since we've never met in person, but green usually comes to mind.
4. Your clever with when we're in the Tub together. ;)
5. Friendly words on a screen. I looked forward to talking with you every time you came online.
6. Again, difficult to do without meeting, but a large dog comes to mind ... not sure what breed though. Sorry, not a wolf.
7. Where were you born exactly and why did you go to America?
8. Your turn.
Lynne
A bit difficult given my current state of mind but I'll do my best to be fair.
1. I don't think I know you anymore, but I'm glad your changes work for you.
2. I challenge you to sit with a meditation candle and quietly remember those who love you ... and act accordingly.
3. The shading changes now and then, but you've always been a red to me, darling. Usually a deep, dark red.
4. You don't let tough times get you down - you worked with them when you couldn't overcome them and you made things work. You rarely lose control and when you make a bad decision, you admit it and face it and learn from it. I've always admired this about you.
5. You always put the strangest things in your hair to hold it up. I remember when a chopstick gave you a sliver in your scalp. You helped me bring some good things into my stale life. Thank you
6. I've never been able to pinpoint an animal for you. I'll give it more thought.
7. I already openly ask you things ... I guess my current question is "Why aren't you responding to anything??"
8. This was originally yours ... did anybody else do it?
Okay ... I fulfilled my promise. I'm all wiped out now. Time to get going and move on to something else. Lots to do before I die. (Whcih won't be today or the doctor would have set an earlier appointment!)
Sweet Dreams!
Persistance - an admirable trait that helps one to achieve goals, but please note - it is NOT a virtue I admire when you've been told 'no' at least three times already with comments as to why 'no' has been said and what it would take to make the answer 'yes'. Constant badgering is not one of those things. If you want something that badly, then find a compromise. By not changing anything in regards to circumstances, and persisting in asking the same question, over and over, you are showing that you don't care.
This is the attitude of a Prima Donna (aka Spoiled Brat) and I don't care to cater to it. It proves to me that you don't really care about my problems/concerns/life choices.
Note: If it has been snowing all morning, and by 10:00 the highways are snow covered/drifting snow and visibility is down to 'fair', and it's still snowing, and is expected to continue to snow for most of the day or longer, then NO, I'm not going to be going anywhere - especially to a function that you've been told several times is to late for Me! I've asked for it to start a bit earlier. You said 'no' because a certain person can't get there until late. What's stopping you from showing up early (like you do on days that this person doesn't come) and spending time with me (and whomever else wishes to show early) and then sticking around until the later people show up. You get to see me, you get to see them and everybody is relatively happy. But you haven't even thought of that. Because, as you are showing me, I'm not worth creating a compromise for.
After everything we've been through and everything that I've done for you, from small things to big (and none of those things selfishly put you in any danger) - this is your response? To be peevish because I'm not a party-type person or a night owl? And you still have the nerve to call yourself my friend? Are you mentally challenged? Remember when you asked me to tell you if/when you were being over-powering in the relationship? Well, here it is.
I am not a sycophant. For anybody. For anything. Get out of my life and don't come back until you are ready to be my friend again.
And that's all I have to say about that.
I got a call from the doctor's office yesterday. They are dragging me in again - this time to discuss the results of those tests I took. Why can't they tell me things over the phone??? If the tests show nothing, or at least, nothing new, then I'm going to be upset. No more hit or miss tests. Either he knows what I need, or he knows of a test that can find what's wrong faster and covering more of the bases. No more drugs. My body won't deal with anymore drugs that I don't need. He's killing my hair!
Bosh and bother! I'm tired of quacks.
So I'm passing white blood cells - so what? I'm not experiencing any pain or discomfort. I feel fine. Hasn't anybody heard of the 'wait and see' scenario? If I'm passing white blood cells, then it appears to me that my body is dealing with whatever it is. Leave it alone!
I'm slowly getting things into their proper spaces ... some books have come out, my desk has been tidied ... a few things have been put on the cork board (mostly to get it off my desk), statues have been unpacked, stuffed animals/friends have been retrieved. My office area is slowly getting organised ... it's not fun trying to get two rooms worth of stuff unto one shelf, but I'm managing. How? Magic. 'Nuff said.
I'm trying to find my picture hooks so that I can hang stuff up!! I've got the pictures spread out in the house, waiting to be hung. I wanna see what it looks like beforeI 'hang' others. It all has to feel a certain way, you know?
When I'm not working on the house or trying to relax on the computer, I'm doing exercises. I do a minimum of 40 crunchies/day and then spontaneous movements here and there. Touching toes, twisting, stretching - working the muscles in all areas and keeping the blood pumping. I've been playing with Spot alot too - which just thrills him! Gonna kill myself running around on this wood floorone day though. Death by fuzzy sock.
Hey, it beats death by a bucket of water!
I like this beta so far. I liek it very mcuh. I'd like it better if it didn't have sign in issues. Anyway, I was reviewing my entires and looking at how many achieved comments, when I came across one that I meant to go back to and never did. I think I'm ready now. Remember your promise to use this on your sites.
The original went as follows ...
If you comment on this post:
1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll challenge you to try something.
3. I'll pick a colour that I associate with you.
4. I'll tell you something I like about you.
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something I've always wanted to ask you.
8. If I do this for you, it would be appreciated if you posted this on yours.
Elohelae
1. It's difficult to take a man seriously when he appears to be named after an emoticon.
2. I challenge you to open your mind to other possibilites, even if it means shaking up your comfort zone.
3. Difficult to do since we've never met in person, but green usually comes to mind.
4. Your clever with when we're in the Tub together. ;)
5. Friendly words on a screen. I looked forward to talking with you every time you came online.
6. Again, difficult to do without meeting, but a large dog comes to mind ... not sure what breed though. Sorry, not a wolf.
7. Where were you born exactly and why did you go to America?
8. Your turn.
Lynne
A bit difficult given my current state of mind but I'll do my best to be fair.
1. I don't think I know you anymore, but I'm glad your changes work for you.
2. I challenge you to sit with a meditation candle and quietly remember those who love you ... and act accordingly.
3. The shading changes now and then, but you've always been a red to me, darling. Usually a deep, dark red.
4. You don't let tough times get you down - you worked with them when you couldn't overcome them and you made things work. You rarely lose control and when you make a bad decision, you admit it and face it and learn from it. I've always admired this about you.
5. You always put the strangest things in your hair to hold it up. I remember when a chopstick gave you a sliver in your scalp. You helped me bring some good things into my stale life. Thank you
6. I've never been able to pinpoint an animal for you. I'll give it more thought.
7. I already openly ask you things ... I guess my current question is "Why aren't you responding to anything??"
8. This was originally yours ... did anybody else do it?
Okay ... I fulfilled my promise. I'm all wiped out now. Time to get going and move on to something else. Lots to do before I die. (Whcih won't be today or the doctor would have set an earlier appointment!)
Sweet Dreams!
Monday, November 20, 2006
Dodging Aliens and Drawing the Soulless
20:15
It's difficult to draw the Soulless. Try as I might, I just can't do it very well. I don't know that any artist actually can. I think my main problem is that I have trouble giving my drawings soul. What? What the dickens am I talking about?
Faces. I can't draw faces. Not out of my head, at any rate.
I have trouble drawing characters' faces, because I'm 1) drawing from memory and 2) drawing something that doesn't quite have a soul ... yet. I have to concentrate on giving them one when I draw them ... takes forever, and I'm sure that's a part of my own soul that they've been given. But then , that's what true magic is, isn't it?
Got warm fuzzies today ... from Dona of all people. I still worry about not being able to pitch in enough and helping out financially. She pointed out that Jade had said that he doesn't want me to drive on the highways in the winter. It's not worth it, he'd said, especially since I would be out before any graders or clearing equipment and making my own trails. He can afford to keep me at home, unless I choose to try and work something locally. That just gave me a warm fuzzy. Maybe it was the way she said it.
D&D is going well, although I feel like I'm in a class full of elementary teachers because it feels like every few minutes one of the guys is shushing so that we can hear. Yeah, we talk a bit much at times, but this is supposed to be fun. Granted, it's a little slow at times because the group is so large (there's seven of us) but what's the rush? It's still amusing right now, but it's going to get annoying soon. I don't need to talked to like a child ... especially by a group of guys that are younger than I am. (No offense, Wayne, but control is your job. Don't let the control freaks get out of hand.) It's a large group; it's slow. Period. There's not much you can do to make it faster. Smoother, maybe, but not faster. Get over yourselves, guys. Let's hang on to the respect factor too, eh?
Trying to plan for San Diego 2007 and not sure at ALL how it's going to get managed. I guess it's up to Jade. Either he signs us up or he doesn't. I'd like to go ... I really would, but it personally sets me back about a month.
21:08
"Ah, I am wefweshed!"
Got a bit of Yule Shopping done today. Just a little bit. Stuffers, mostly. A lot of my gifts were ordered a few months ago and are just comin in now ... at the same time. *sigh* Say good-bye to my savings.
Crap.
Jade tried to surpirse me by giving me some money. He put it directly into my accout and didn't tell me. I was horrified. I was sure that he put it there accidentally. Once he assured me that it wasn't an accident, I was much happier ... until I got bogged down with wondering why.
Damn, I need to learn to relax.
I think I'm gonna go work on a craft I found whileI watch a movie ... yeah, that sounds nice.
Sweet Dreams!
It's difficult to draw the Soulless. Try as I might, I just can't do it very well. I don't know that any artist actually can. I think my main problem is that I have trouble giving my drawings soul. What? What the dickens am I talking about?
Faces. I can't draw faces. Not out of my head, at any rate.
I have trouble drawing characters' faces, because I'm 1) drawing from memory and 2) drawing something that doesn't quite have a soul ... yet. I have to concentrate on giving them one when I draw them ... takes forever, and I'm sure that's a part of my own soul that they've been given. But then , that's what true magic is, isn't it?
Got warm fuzzies today ... from Dona of all people. I still worry about not being able to pitch in enough and helping out financially. She pointed out that Jade had said that he doesn't want me to drive on the highways in the winter. It's not worth it, he'd said, especially since I would be out before any graders or clearing equipment and making my own trails. He can afford to keep me at home, unless I choose to try and work something locally. That just gave me a warm fuzzy. Maybe it was the way she said it.
D&D is going well, although I feel like I'm in a class full of elementary teachers because it feels like every few minutes one of the guys is shushing so that we can hear. Yeah, we talk a bit much at times, but this is supposed to be fun. Granted, it's a little slow at times because the group is so large (there's seven of us) but what's the rush? It's still amusing right now, but it's going to get annoying soon. I don't need to talked to like a child ... especially by a group of guys that are younger than I am. (No offense, Wayne, but control is your job. Don't let the control freaks get out of hand.) It's a large group; it's slow. Period. There's not much you can do to make it faster. Smoother, maybe, but not faster. Get over yourselves, guys. Let's hang on to the respect factor too, eh?
Trying to plan for San Diego 2007 and not sure at ALL how it's going to get managed. I guess it's up to Jade. Either he signs us up or he doesn't. I'd like to go ... I really would, but it personally sets me back about a month.
21:08
"Ah, I am wefweshed!"
Got a bit of Yule Shopping done today. Just a little bit. Stuffers, mostly. A lot of my gifts were ordered a few months ago and are just comin in now ... at the same time. *sigh* Say good-bye to my savings.
Crap.
Jade tried to surpirse me by giving me some money. He put it directly into my accout and didn't tell me. I was horrified. I was sure that he put it there accidentally. Once he assured me that it wasn't an accident, I was much happier ... until I got bogged down with wondering why.
Damn, I need to learn to relax.
I think I'm gonna go work on a craft I found whileI watch a movie ... yeah, that sounds nice.
Sweet Dreams!
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Spreading the charms and general thoughts (or No Aliens Today)
So I updated my site to the Beta ... we'll see if it's actually better or not. Eventually, I'll get my own space and not have to rely on these kind of sites for my things. I'll just start from scratch. I'm not afraid to start over.
Speaking of which, I still haven't heard anything fom Lynne, so I don't know if she's read my e-mails or my entry from earlier or what. I tried to peek at her Livejournal, but either I can't read without my account (I cancelled it) or she's blocked me. I'd like to think that she'd say something first. She always tells people that she'll talk to them and let them know why they are being blocked if she wants to block them. She still hasn't picked up my e-cards either.
It hurts to let her go. I love her like the sister I've always wanted. For a while she truly was my best friend ... but, well, I felt like I was begging for her attention, and one day I wondered why I needed to beg. She told me one day that the only way to get a hold of her is to text her phone. I thought, 'Then I'm screwed', because I can't send texts. I can only reply to them. I find it tedious anyway. Takes half an hour to say three words. I can say it faster with a stutter and a lisp.
No, she doesn't need me anymore. I wish her love and happiness and all the good things that she needs and deserves. If she, or Erin, ever needs me for something important, all she has to do is call and I'll be there. Yeah, I wish her the best.
And I wish I was sure that I didn't still need her.
Not much to Life if you don't learn to move on, right? So, I'll move on. But she'll always be in my heart and my thoughts. Red wine, candles, my pendant, Mustangs, cemeteries, and mint chapstick ... these and more remind me of her.
I sent my writings to The Green Man today. (I have to give him an important looking title so that he'll say nice things! LOL!) That nick is also a right bloody compliment too. I wonder if he'll recognise the magnitude of it from a certain angle. Anyway, I'm hoping he can offer me some insights that will help me get into the writing industry. S.O.B. lucked into a job with DC during the Con in 2006. I should have rubbed myself on him more *evil grin* ... maybe that kind of luck is catchy. Pass over some of that Irish, GM ... I think my own is too diluted to pull this off on my own.
Or do you think I could get by on charm alone? Heh. Charm and tight shirts. Watch out world!
Had another doctor's appointment today too. An impromptu one. (%&#$%&%&*!!!) Discovered that the antibiotics that I took, and actually didn't need, may have prompted another problem that requires a drug. Dammit. No more being informative. It's too damn expensive! Bad enough that I have to switch my Pills to another brand because the company that makes the ones I've been on since I was sixteen has been shorting the drugstores. Drat ... I'm so tempted to just wait it out. I don't wanna change. He wants me to wait until after my next visit from 'Jill' to take them too. HA! I'm not giving up sex for a month! I'll start them now, thank you. Not that I mind the idea of getting pregnant, but I don't think that now is a good time. ;)
Lola, honey, come to Alberta for a visit ... it's a nice place to live! We'll be in Utah on both legs of the trip, so check out the schedule to see when I'll be closest to you! *sigh* I was actually trying to avoid calling you that, but it's easier to type than Elohelae and Elly is just too close to Ellen. So there you go. Either way, you sound like a woman, and therefore confusing the masses.
Did a bit of shopping today since I was in the mall anyway. Walked out with ANOTHER piece of plastic for my wallet. *sigh* (I'd be happier if at least one of those pieces of plastic offered some sort of credit.) Bought my friend Wayne a present just in case the one I ordered doesn't come in. One for Jade and a few stocking stuffers. I thought about making gifts this year, but I won't have enough time and some of it is still packed! Besides, if I keep giving away everything I make, then I won't have anything to sell! Right?
'Nuff said!
Jade and I are in print!! In colour! *insert Snoopy dance here* Check out Issue #40 of Tarot: Witch of the Black Rose and see if you can find us! I almost missed us, actually ...
Feeling kind of restless, but not willing to start anything new ... I think I'll go play a few games on Pogo before wandering over to bed.
Sweet Dreams!
Speaking of which, I still haven't heard anything fom Lynne, so I don't know if she's read my e-mails or my entry from earlier or what. I tried to peek at her Livejournal, but either I can't read without my account (I cancelled it) or she's blocked me. I'd like to think that she'd say something first. She always tells people that she'll talk to them and let them know why they are being blocked if she wants to block them. She still hasn't picked up my e-cards either.
It hurts to let her go. I love her like the sister I've always wanted. For a while she truly was my best friend ... but, well, I felt like I was begging for her attention, and one day I wondered why I needed to beg. She told me one day that the only way to get a hold of her is to text her phone. I thought, 'Then I'm screwed', because I can't send texts. I can only reply to them. I find it tedious anyway. Takes half an hour to say three words. I can say it faster with a stutter and a lisp.
No, she doesn't need me anymore. I wish her love and happiness and all the good things that she needs and deserves. If she, or Erin, ever needs me for something important, all she has to do is call and I'll be there. Yeah, I wish her the best.
And I wish I was sure that I didn't still need her.
Not much to Life if you don't learn to move on, right? So, I'll move on. But she'll always be in my heart and my thoughts. Red wine, candles, my pendant, Mustangs, cemeteries, and mint chapstick ... these and more remind me of her.
I sent my writings to The Green Man today. (I have to give him an important looking title so that he'll say nice things! LOL!) That nick is also a right bloody compliment too. I wonder if he'll recognise the magnitude of it from a certain angle. Anyway, I'm hoping he can offer me some insights that will help me get into the writing industry. S.O.B. lucked into a job with DC during the Con in 2006. I should have rubbed myself on him more *evil grin* ... maybe that kind of luck is catchy. Pass over some of that Irish, GM ... I think my own is too diluted to pull this off on my own.
Or do you think I could get by on charm alone? Heh. Charm and tight shirts. Watch out world!
Had another doctor's appointment today too. An impromptu one. (%&#$%&%&*!!!) Discovered that the antibiotics that I took, and actually didn't need, may have prompted another problem that requires a drug. Dammit. No more being informative. It's too damn expensive! Bad enough that I have to switch my Pills to another brand because the company that makes the ones I've been on since I was sixteen has been shorting the drugstores. Drat ... I'm so tempted to just wait it out. I don't wanna change. He wants me to wait until after my next visit from 'Jill' to take them too. HA! I'm not giving up sex for a month! I'll start them now, thank you. Not that I mind the idea of getting pregnant, but I don't think that now is a good time. ;)
Lola, honey, come to Alberta for a visit ... it's a nice place to live! We'll be in Utah on both legs of the trip, so check out the schedule to see when I'll be closest to you! *sigh* I was actually trying to avoid calling you that, but it's easier to type than Elohelae and Elly is just too close to Ellen. So there you go. Either way, you sound like a woman, and therefore confusing the masses.
Did a bit of shopping today since I was in the mall anyway. Walked out with ANOTHER piece of plastic for my wallet. *sigh* (I'd be happier if at least one of those pieces of plastic offered some sort of credit.) Bought my friend Wayne a present just in case the one I ordered doesn't come in. One for Jade and a few stocking stuffers. I thought about making gifts this year, but I won't have enough time and some of it is still packed! Besides, if I keep giving away everything I make, then I won't have anything to sell! Right?
'Nuff said!
Jade and I are in print!! In colour! *insert Snoopy dance here* Check out Issue #40 of Tarot: Witch of the Black Rose and see if you can find us! I almost missed us, actually ...
Feeling kind of restless, but not willing to start anything new ... I think I'll go play a few games on Pogo before wandering over to bed.
Sweet Dreams!
Sunday, November 12, 2006
Giving Blondes a Typical Stereotypical Name - And Loving It!
18:40
It's been an odd day. I walked around with a big grin and kept breaking into giggles. It made it very difficult to seriously shop in a busy store like that. It actually took very little to get me there too. Tsk.
Had a great Poker night last night. Shorty and LJ made it over and we played a little bit of everything. We had so much for snacks that we didn't bother with supper - which was only a little disappointing, but everybody kept insisting that they weren't hungry and the snacks were fine. We'll pick up pizza next time.
They ended up staying the night with us. LJ couldn't get over how fresh the air seemed. He liked it so much that he seemed to go for more smoke breaks than he normally would, but that could have been my imagination.
LJ and I beat Jade and Shorty at crib ... twice. Poker varied with either Jade or Shorty heading off against LJ. Jade won at Sorry - as usual ... bastard. I came in second though. We played UNO ... I won the first three hands. Heh. Jade said it was because I knew all the cheats. He's just mad because he sat next to me and I smacked him with a lot of + cards. Hee hee.
I have to start a special diet tomorrow so that I can take a blood occult test. Apparently, the antibiotics I was just on didn't change the levels of white blood cells that I'm passing in my urine. My doctor is actually QUITE concerned. He came running back into the room with the results. I have to admit that I'm taking this all rather calmly. I don't see the problem. I'm in excellent health otherwise - minus the HPV, but I seem to be battling that quite well too. I seem to have forced it back into submission. Which is good. I'd like to be one the few women in this family who doesn't have to have a hysterectomy, thank you very much.
So ... I'm eating some leftover steak, because one of the things I won't be allowed to have is red meat. *sigh*
To brighten this news, I have discovered, at last, an important information connection for my paternal family tree. This is especially important as this branch of the family is VERY tigh-mouthed. Every time I asked for info, I got the same answer - "We're not a close knit family." (And this stops you from telling me your birthday how?) Weirdoes. So, anyway, I made a HUGE breakthrough and I've been dancing and giggling since.
I'm gonna have to rip my boy's clothes off tonight, just to burn this energy ... Good thing he doesn't work tomorrow.
Sweet Dreams!
It's been an odd day. I walked around with a big grin and kept breaking into giggles. It made it very difficult to seriously shop in a busy store like that. It actually took very little to get me there too. Tsk.
Had a great Poker night last night. Shorty and LJ made it over and we played a little bit of everything. We had so much for snacks that we didn't bother with supper - which was only a little disappointing, but everybody kept insisting that they weren't hungry and the snacks were fine. We'll pick up pizza next time.
They ended up staying the night with us. LJ couldn't get over how fresh the air seemed. He liked it so much that he seemed to go for more smoke breaks than he normally would, but that could have been my imagination.
LJ and I beat Jade and Shorty at crib ... twice. Poker varied with either Jade or Shorty heading off against LJ. Jade won at Sorry - as usual ... bastard. I came in second though. We played UNO ... I won the first three hands. Heh. Jade said it was because I knew all the cheats. He's just mad because he sat next to me and I smacked him with a lot of + cards. Hee hee.
I have to start a special diet tomorrow so that I can take a blood occult test. Apparently, the antibiotics I was just on didn't change the levels of white blood cells that I'm passing in my urine. My doctor is actually QUITE concerned. He came running back into the room with the results. I have to admit that I'm taking this all rather calmly. I don't see the problem. I'm in excellent health otherwise - minus the HPV, but I seem to be battling that quite well too. I seem to have forced it back into submission. Which is good. I'd like to be one the few women in this family who doesn't have to have a hysterectomy, thank you very much.
So ... I'm eating some leftover steak, because one of the things I won't be allowed to have is red meat. *sigh*
To brighten this news, I have discovered, at last, an important information connection for my paternal family tree. This is especially important as this branch of the family is VERY tigh-mouthed. Every time I asked for info, I got the same answer - "We're not a close knit family." (And this stops you from telling me your birthday how?) Weirdoes. So, anyway, I made a HUGE breakthrough and I've been dancing and giggling since.
I'm gonna have to rip my boy's clothes off tonight, just to burn this energy ... Good thing he doesn't work tomorrow.
Sweet Dreams!
Friday, November 10, 2006
Restless And Pacing ... And Singing the Blues
21:48
Jade surpirsed me and came home early today. He was supposed to go out with the guys tonight and play pool, but he decided to stay home with me instead.We got the shelves moved into their proper places and now we can get a lot more boxes out of the garage and into their proper places. We also managed to set up the day bed, just in case one of the guys decides not to leave until morning after poker night. (We have a REALLY comfy couch too, if they both need to stay!)
Oops. I swung. Wonder if it has something to do with Dona coming upstairs and spraying Oust all over the place. It drives me nuts when she sprays things. She always has an overpowering scent - usually flowery - and she ALWAYS over-sprays. Ugh!
I'm also a bit grumpy because Jade is organising some of his stuff in the spare room. Not that I mind him doing it so much as I'm disappointed that the job's been taken from me when I've been looking forward to it all week. After all the nagging to get him to help me move the shelves so I could get it done ... *sigh* Perhaps I'm being selfish, but I feel disappointed and cheated somehow.
Speaking of cleaning house, I've been giving my relationship with Lynne some deep thought. This was not done in anger or anything. It's not a bad thing. But things have been a bit difficult and possibly strained between us lately ... and I felt the need to evaluate our present circumstances to find some relief.
When we first met, there was only a slight pause before we hit it off rather well. She was the oddness in my life that I needed to allow myself the freedom of expanding my limits and(some of) my experiences. Even through the changes, I have feel that I have remained a constant. I never change much - Lynne once told me that I gave off a soft, warm light that just grew brighter as you get to know me and it attracts all the right people. I think I still do. She's got a similar aura about her, but it's more like a beacon that calls out to people - "I am here! Adore me!" And people do.
I've been with her whenever she needed me - rough patches, bad boyfriends, horrific break ups, and the other crap that happens in life. I was there when nobody else was. It didn't matter that it interupted my life and that it usually involved about an hour on a bus to get to her. I dropped everything. I did my best to hold her in my light - to wrap her in a protective cocoon of it until she was ready to come out and shine on her own again. She needed me.
There's the crux. She just doesn't need me anymore. I've known it for a while. A very long while. Sometimes I think that she's just having trouble letting me go - that she needs to keep me tied to her as a security device - just in case. It's not like I'll disappear forever. I'll still be there if she really needs me, just like I'll be there if she decides that she just wants to go out for coffee and I'm available.
I don't change, but I've watched her grow with leaps and bounds. One day she just grabbed life by the horns and she's been riding it for all it's worth ever since. She's found her happy place and she seems like she's doing very well in it. It's not a precarious position by any means. The problem is that I no longer really fit in that new life of hers. Our paths no longer seem to meet so much. They don't even appear to run parrallel with each other. And I feel that she gets frustrated that I won't join her in her space - even for short periods of time. I can't. I won't. In order to fit into her space, I'd have to change - and I'm quite happy and comfortable where I am. It took some time, but I've learned to stand my ground and just say 'no'. It still hurts to say it, but I am strong with who I am now. I don't need anybody's approval to be it except for my own.
I'm not sure where I'm going with all this. It's kind of a thinking process as I write. I guess the bottom line is that she doesn't need me anymore, not like she used to. We both have different paths to walk and we will walk them in different ways. I still love her and I hope she still loves me, but it's time to let go. I don't read her entries anymore. There's just nothing there for me anymore. I took her off my MSN because she never starts a conversation with me and very rarely answers when I do - but then I changed my mind and put her back on ... now she's on there twice and there's no way of fixing it.
That's karma for you, I guess. Hubris, even.
I tried to write her and tell her how I felt, but I'm pretty sure she never read it. I've sent her e-cards for special occasions. I've sent her four since September. None of them have been picked up. No. She doesn't need me anymore. I don't feel the importance behind the connection. I don't even feel the connection, really.
It's time to leave while things are still good between us. I can be the old friend that she thinks about when she has a moment, or sees something that reminds her of me. And I hope that the thoughts are good ones.
Good bye, Lynne. Remember that I love you.
...
Well, now I've got empty nest syndrome ...
;)
Hey, if I can't mock myself, I'd just be mocking somebody else.
Sweet Dreams!
Jade surpirsed me and came home early today. He was supposed to go out with the guys tonight and play pool, but he decided to stay home with me instead.
Oops. I swung. Wonder if it has something to do with Dona coming upstairs and spraying Oust all over the place. It drives me nuts when she sprays things. She always has an overpowering scent - usually flowery - and she ALWAYS over-sprays. Ugh!
I'm also a bit grumpy because Jade is organising some of his stuff in the spare room. Not that I mind him doing it so much as I'm disappointed that the job's been taken from me when I've been looking forward to it all week. After all the nagging to get him to help me move the shelves so I could get it done ... *sigh* Perhaps I'm being selfish, but I feel disappointed and cheated somehow.
Speaking of cleaning house, I've been giving my relationship with Lynne some deep thought. This was not done in anger or anything. It's not a bad thing. But things have been a bit difficult and possibly strained between us lately ... and I felt the need to evaluate our present circumstances to find some relief.
When we first met, there was only a slight pause before we hit it off rather well. She was the oddness in my life that I needed to allow myself the freedom of expanding my limits and(some of) my experiences. Even through the changes, I have feel that I have remained a constant. I never change much - Lynne once told me that I gave off a soft, warm light that just grew brighter as you get to know me and it attracts all the right people. I think I still do. She's got a similar aura about her, but it's more like a beacon that calls out to people - "I am here! Adore me!" And people do.
I've been with her whenever she needed me - rough patches, bad boyfriends, horrific break ups, and the other crap that happens in life. I was there when nobody else was. It didn't matter that it interupted my life and that it usually involved about an hour on a bus to get to her. I dropped everything. I did my best to hold her in my light - to wrap her in a protective cocoon of it until she was ready to come out and shine on her own again. She needed me.
There's the crux. She just doesn't need me anymore. I've known it for a while. A very long while. Sometimes I think that she's just having trouble letting me go - that she needs to keep me tied to her as a security device - just in case. It's not like I'll disappear forever. I'll still be there if she really needs me, just like I'll be there if she decides that she just wants to go out for coffee and I'm available.
I don't change, but I've watched her grow with leaps and bounds. One day she just grabbed life by the horns and she's been riding it for all it's worth ever since. She's found her happy place and she seems like she's doing very well in it. It's not a precarious position by any means. The problem is that I no longer really fit in that new life of hers. Our paths no longer seem to meet so much. They don't even appear to run parrallel with each other. And I feel that she gets frustrated that I won't join her in her space - even for short periods of time. I can't. I won't. In order to fit into her space, I'd have to change - and I'm quite happy and comfortable where I am. It took some time, but I've learned to stand my ground and just say 'no'. It still hurts to say it, but I am strong with who I am now. I don't need anybody's approval to be it except for my own.
I'm not sure where I'm going with all this. It's kind of a thinking process as I write. I guess the bottom line is that she doesn't need me anymore, not like she used to. We both have different paths to walk and we will walk them in different ways. I still love her and I hope she still loves me, but it's time to let go. I don't read her entries anymore. There's just nothing there for me anymore. I took her off my MSN because she never starts a conversation with me and very rarely answers when I do - but then I changed my mind and put her back on ... now she's on there twice and there's no way of fixing it.
That's karma for you, I guess. Hubris, even.
I tried to write her and tell her how I felt, but I'm pretty sure she never read it. I've sent her e-cards for special occasions. I've sent her four since September. None of them have been picked up. No. She doesn't need me anymore. I don't feel the importance behind the connection. I don't even feel the connection, really.
It's time to leave while things are still good between us. I can be the old friend that she thinks about when she has a moment, or sees something that reminds her of me. And I hope that the thoughts are good ones.
Good bye, Lynne. Remember that I love you.
...
Well, now I've got empty nest syndrome ...
;)
Hey, if I can't mock myself, I'd just be mocking somebody else.
Sweet Dreams!
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Donner and Blitzen
10:12
Thunder and Lightening ... in November. Who'd a thunk it? And quite the snowfall that came with it too. Wet snow at last! Snowman and other play potential all around. Gonna have to shovel off the garage pad again though. The builder is finally coming to look at the garage package that we got. We should have a second garage up by the end of the week. All those big tools will finally get out of the main garage and we'll have space to move things so that we can get the trucks in the garage! We'll have to watch for puddles, but I think we can arrange something.
I got a few more boxes up and emptied. I brought home the vacuum too. Did the dusting ...a gain. (Gotta check that furnace filter!) I'm a little stalled until Jade helps me to move some shelves, but I think I can reach the daybed items in the garage ... maybe. Meanwhile, I've organised the utility closet and under the sink in teh kitchen. Today, while everybody is gone, I think I'll tackle the drawers ... or I might leave those until I bring in my other kitchen stuff that I know is still at the house. I still don't know what we're going to do with the comic boxes. There are so bloody many of them.
Tensions have eased, and I hope it's a while before that happens again. Hokey Stinkmore, can that woman project! And she's completely oblivious to it. There were times I felt mentally flattened by it. Just made me work harder on the positive - perhaps I'll be able to strengthen myself in the long run.
Yup, battling the Negverse takes strength, endurance, and positive energy. Power of Love, baby!
(Ahem.)
I miss my animes. Just recently found them. Maybe I'll go watch one of my InuYasha movies. I've been craving the first one ... Hmmm ...
I took a drastic measure last night and I'm waiting to see if it has any effect. I've bloody well tried everything else. We'll see. I'll write about it later. It's still kinda painful right now.
I checked my little dragon this morning and was pleasantly surprised to see a small jump in the number. OMG! People are reading this! I was so happy!
Now if only I could get people to comment! ;) Guess I should careful what I wish for, eh?
Poker night tentatively set for Nov 11. I know, I know ... it's a respectful holiday, but it's all in how you look at it. Don't think of it as gambling on a holiday ... think of it as a reason for old friends to get together. We talk about a lot of things while we play - everything from entertainment to politics to guy stuff (I'm the only female in the group) and I think that this is a wonderful expression of our freedom. Freedoms that we take for granted because most of have never lived with anything else. Never lived wit the threat of having it taken away.
Kinda like Kids and records. Most kids don't know what a record is. Might as well be talking about a grammaphone. Lady only knows what they think THAT might be!
I have to go see what I can get my hands busy with ... Maybe I can organise the bathrooms ...
Sweet Dreams!
Thunder and Lightening ... in November. Who'd a thunk it? And quite the snowfall that came with it too. Wet snow at last! Snowman and other play potential all around. Gonna have to shovel off the garage pad again though. The builder is finally coming to look at the garage package that we got. We should have a second garage up by the end of the week. All those big tools will finally get out of the main garage and we'll have space to move things so that we can get the trucks in the garage! We'll have to watch for puddles, but I think we can arrange something.
I got a few more boxes up and emptied. I brought home the vacuum too. Did the dusting ...a gain. (Gotta check that furnace filter!) I'm a little stalled until Jade helps me to move some shelves, but I think I can reach the daybed items in the garage ... maybe. Meanwhile, I've organised the utility closet and under the sink in teh kitchen. Today, while everybody is gone, I think I'll tackle the drawers ... or I might leave those until I bring in my other kitchen stuff that I know is still at the house. I still don't know what we're going to do with the comic boxes. There are so bloody many of them.
Tensions have eased, and I hope it's a while before that happens again. Hokey Stinkmore, can that woman project! And she's completely oblivious to it. There were times I felt mentally flattened by it. Just made me work harder on the positive - perhaps I'll be able to strengthen myself in the long run.
Yup, battling the Negverse takes strength, endurance, and positive energy. Power of Love, baby!
(Ahem.)
I miss my animes. Just recently found them. Maybe I'll go watch one of my InuYasha movies. I've been craving the first one ... Hmmm ...
I took a drastic measure last night and I'm waiting to see if it has any effect. I've bloody well tried everything else. We'll see. I'll write about it later. It's still kinda painful right now.
I checked my little dragon this morning and was pleasantly surprised to see a small jump in the number. OMG! People are reading this! I was so happy!
Now if only I could get people to comment! ;) Guess I should careful what I wish for, eh?
Poker night tentatively set for Nov 11. I know, I know ... it's a respectful holiday, but it's all in how you look at it. Don't think of it as gambling on a holiday ... think of it as a reason for old friends to get together. We talk about a lot of things while we play - everything from entertainment to politics to guy stuff (I'm the only female in the group) and I think that this is a wonderful expression of our freedom. Freedoms that we take for granted because most of have never lived with anything else. Never lived wit the threat of having it taken away.
Kinda like Kids and records. Most kids don't know what a record is. Might as well be talking about a grammaphone. Lady only knows what they think THAT might be!
I have to go see what I can get my hands busy with ... Maybe I can organise the bathrooms ...
Sweet Dreams!
Monday, November 06, 2006
Keep on Truckin'
19:09
Trick 'n' treatin' with Erin and Lynne was the last bit of fun I've had in a while ... but it was good while it lasted.
I took my truck into town the next day, and then caught a ride home with Jade. His parents drove me back in on Thursday ... $200 bucks later, I'm driving home, with some groceries, and organising my night so that I can go out when I suddenly get this sinking feeling. I've slipped into a ditch and can't get out. I tried, but only succeeded in twisting the trucks sense of direction.
Luckily, I'm close enough to home that I can walk, groveries in tow. Two hours later, Jade gets home and pulls me out. I honestly expected a lecture, but got a hug instead. He was just happy that it wasn't worse. I didn't hit anything.
I didn't go totally unpunished though. I had to spend the next day calling for price checks on winter tires. That was Friday. On Saturday, I took the truck in for the tires and then went for groceries. Sunday was my D&D night ... which rocked, as usual. Monday ... today ... I had a doctor's appointment ... and it didn't offer good news either. And no immediate end in site.
*sigh*
On top of all that, Dona and Jade got into a fight and now Dona is sulking. The tension is quite palpable.
I need a poker night.
Sweet Dreams!
Trick 'n' treatin' with Erin and Lynne was the last bit of fun I've had in a while ... but it was good while it lasted.
I took my truck into town the next day, and then caught a ride home with Jade. His parents drove me back in on Thursday ... $200 bucks later, I'm driving home, with some groceries, and organising my night so that I can go out when I suddenly get this sinking feeling. I've slipped into a ditch and can't get out. I tried, but only succeeded in twisting the trucks sense of direction.
Luckily, I'm close enough to home that I can walk, groveries in tow. Two hours later, Jade gets home and pulls me out. I honestly expected a lecture, but got a hug instead. He was just happy that it wasn't worse. I didn't hit anything.
I didn't go totally unpunished though. I had to spend the next day calling for price checks on winter tires. That was Friday. On Saturday, I took the truck in for the tires and then went for groceries. Sunday was my D&D night ... which rocked, as usual. Monday ... today ... I had a doctor's appointment ... and it didn't offer good news either. And no immediate end in site.
*sigh*
On top of all that, Dona and Jade got into a fight and now Dona is sulking. The tension is quite palpable.
I need a poker night.
Sweet Dreams!
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Dedicated to One That I Love!
23:21
As per a personal request, the following song has been dedicated to Lynne. Here's lookin' at you, kid!
Carrot Juice is Murder
~by The Arrogant Worms~
Listen up, brothers and sisters,
Come hear my desperate tale!
I speak of our friends of nature
trapped in the dirt like a jail.
Vegetables live in oppression,
served on our tables each night.
This killing of veggies is madness!
I say we take up the fight!
Salads are only for murderers!
Cole Slaw's a fascist regime!
Don't think that they don't have feelings,
just cause a radish can't scream.
Chorus
I've heard the screams of the vegetables! (screams, screams, screams)
Watching their skins being peeled! (having their insides revealed)
Grated and steamed with no mercy. (Burning off calories)
How do you think that feels? (Bet it hurts really bad)
Carrot juice constitutes murder! (And that's a real crime)
Greenhouses prisons for slaves! (Let my vegetables go)
It's time to stop all this gardening. (It's dirty as Hell)
Let's call a spade a spade. (is a spade, is a spade, is a spade, is a)
I saw a man eating celery,
so I beat him black and blue.
If he ever touches a sprout again,
I'll bite him clean in two!
I'm a political prisoner,
trapped in a windowless cage.
'Cause I stopped the slaughter of turnips
by killing five men in a rage!
I told the judge when he sentenced me:
This is my finest hour!
I'd kill those farmers again
just to save one more cauliflower.
(chorus)
How low as people do we dare to stoop,
Making young broccolis bleed in the soup?
Untie your beans,
Uncage your tomatoes
Let potted plants free,
Don't mash that potato!
(Spoken)No! Spare the spud!Eat a cow instead!
(Sung)I've heard the screams of the vegetables! (screams, screams, screams)
Watching their skins being peeled! (Fates in the stir-fry are sealed)
Grated and steamed with no mercy. (You fat gourmet scum)
How do you think that feels? (Leave them out in the fields)
Carrot juice constitutes murder! (V8's genocide)
Greenhouses prisons for slaves! (Yes, your compost's a grave)
It's time to stop all this gardening. (Take up macrame)
Let's call a spade a spade. (is a spade is a spade is a spade)
is a spade is a spade is a...
Spade.
Power to the peas!
Give peas a chance...
All we are saying,
is give peas a chance.
This message is not necessarily a political statement of this writer and was put her at the request of another. No payments, bribes, etc. for this request were exchanged, nor does the writer benefit from it in anyway. Except maybe to pass on a smile, or generate a comment.
We now return you to our regular broadcasting.
No, that has nothing to do with the writer being a female, and if you call me a 'broad' again, I'll castrate you with my thumbnails.
Finally hit a ditch today. Had to wait two hours for Jade to get home and then it took about a half hour to get it out. I was supposed to go to wings tonight with Lynne, but called from the ditch and cancelled. Luckily it wasn't a deep ditch and it was close enough to home that I could walk the rest of the way with the groceries.
I thought the country was supposed to full of friendly folk. Do you know how many people drove past me and never offered to help? I wasn't in the ditch really deep, just stuck in the snow near the top. I tried to rock out, but just succeeded on twisting the vehicle around. Crazy. I can understand that they didn't have the tools to pull me, but nobody asked if I needed anything, if they could lend me a cell phone, or call for help for me. They just drove past and stared. Even in the city somebody will help to push!
Talk about disillusioned.
Anyway, I said I would show up next week. No, I don't care who's there. I'll show up anyway. Damn the torpedoes!
Outside of wiping out on the side of the road, everybody is sick here - everybody but me. It's really hit the in-laws especially hard so I've been doing all the cooking and cleaning. I don't mind.
That's my update for tonight. My punishment for landing in a ditch and making Jade help me out is that I have to call around to tire stores all day tomorrow and find winter tires. *sigh*
Meanwhile, I have every intention of taking him to bed and ripping his clothes off! ^_^!
Sweet Dreams!
As per a personal request, the following song has been dedicated to Lynne. Here's lookin' at you, kid!
Carrot Juice is Murder
~by The Arrogant Worms~
Listen up, brothers and sisters,
Come hear my desperate tale!
I speak of our friends of nature
trapped in the dirt like a jail.
Vegetables live in oppression,
served on our tables each night.
This killing of veggies is madness!
I say we take up the fight!
Salads are only for murderers!
Cole Slaw's a fascist regime!
Don't think that they don't have feelings,
just cause a radish can't scream.
Chorus
I've heard the screams of the vegetables! (screams, screams, screams)
Watching their skins being peeled! (having their insides revealed)
Grated and steamed with no mercy. (Burning off calories)
How do you think that feels? (Bet it hurts really bad)
Carrot juice constitutes murder! (And that's a real crime)
Greenhouses prisons for slaves! (Let my vegetables go)
It's time to stop all this gardening. (It's dirty as Hell)
Let's call a spade a spade. (is a spade, is a spade, is a spade, is a)
I saw a man eating celery,
so I beat him black and blue.
If he ever touches a sprout again,
I'll bite him clean in two!
I'm a political prisoner,
trapped in a windowless cage.
'Cause I stopped the slaughter of turnips
by killing five men in a rage!
I told the judge when he sentenced me:
This is my finest hour!
I'd kill those farmers again
just to save one more cauliflower.
(chorus)
How low as people do we dare to stoop,
Making young broccolis bleed in the soup?
Untie your beans,
Uncage your tomatoes
Let potted plants free,
Don't mash that potato!
(Spoken)No! Spare the spud!Eat a cow instead!
(Sung)I've heard the screams of the vegetables! (screams, screams, screams)
Watching their skins being peeled! (Fates in the stir-fry are sealed)
Grated and steamed with no mercy. (You fat gourmet scum)
How do you think that feels? (Leave them out in the fields)
Carrot juice constitutes murder! (V8's genocide)
Greenhouses prisons for slaves! (Yes, your compost's a grave)
It's time to stop all this gardening. (Take up macrame)
Let's call a spade a spade. (is a spade is a spade is a spade)
is a spade is a spade is a...
Spade.
Power to the peas!
Give peas a chance...
All we are saying,
is give peas a chance.
This message is not necessarily a political statement of this writer and was put her at the request of another. No payments, bribes, etc. for this request were exchanged, nor does the writer benefit from it in anyway. Except maybe to pass on a smile, or generate a comment.
We now return you to our regular broadcasting.
No, that has nothing to do with the writer being a female, and if you call me a 'broad' again, I'll castrate you with my thumbnails.
Finally hit a ditch today. Had to wait two hours for Jade to get home and then it took about a half hour to get it out. I was supposed to go to wings tonight with Lynne, but called from the ditch and cancelled. Luckily it wasn't a deep ditch and it was close enough to home that I could walk the rest of the way with the groceries.
I thought the country was supposed to full of friendly folk. Do you know how many people drove past me and never offered to help? I wasn't in the ditch really deep, just stuck in the snow near the top. I tried to rock out, but just succeeded on twisting the vehicle around. Crazy. I can understand that they didn't have the tools to pull me, but nobody asked if I needed anything, if they could lend me a cell phone, or call for help for me. They just drove past and stared. Even in the city somebody will help to push!
Talk about disillusioned.
Anyway, I said I would show up next week. No, I don't care who's there. I'll show up anyway. Damn the torpedoes!
Outside of wiping out on the side of the road, everybody is sick here - everybody but me. It's really hit the in-laws especially hard so I've been doing all the cooking and cleaning. I don't mind.
That's my update for tonight. My punishment for landing in a ditch and making Jade help me out is that I have to call around to tire stores all day tomorrow and find winter tires. *sigh*
Meanwhile, I have every intention of taking him to bed and ripping his clothes off! ^_^!
Sweet Dreams!
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Facts of Life
10:21
As I washed my hereditary crystal dishware, I waited for Dona to come up and ask why I was handwashing them instead of using the dishwasher. Working out an answer in my head ahead of time (she's always asking me 'why' I'm doing something), it surprised me that my immediate response was not 'Because it's full.' In fact, that was an afterthought. What shocked me more was my first impulse for response.
"My mother always handled items she cherished with especial care. Perhaps she went overboard on certain things, but it was how she showed she cared. It's one of the few things that I admire about her."
Okay ... I just admited that I admired somethig about ... my mother!!!!
Is the world coming to an end? Or am I just (gasp) maturing? *swoon*
Actually, it occurred to me that thoughts like this are generally made after somebody has passed on. In a way, the woman I admire isn't quite the same woman anymore as Mom's personality has changed somewhat over the years. (There's nothing like scrimping on welfare to teach a person the value of things!!) But that's not the point though. The point is that I'm actually glad that I realised this BEFORE she leaves for the next stage of her life cycle. I still have an opportunity to tell her ... and instead of hoping she's listening, I can say it straight to her.
I'll probably say it over e-mail though, because I'd never get this all out without a lot of booze ... and I don't drink! LOL!
Well, there's still mushy cards ...
We'll see.
So! I finally got the box that was in the dining room emptied. No more tripping over it, moving it to get behind it, nothing. All I have to do now is get to all the boxes that are still in the garage. Still waiting on a few things before I can finalise my own move though. Like geting that bed out of the spare, and getting storage shelves in the garage so that we have a place for items we rarely use or don't need in the house. Or things that we now have doubles/triples of. :(
It's good to get more of my things out. It kind of hides the things that are theirs. I'm still iffy about whether or not I want to keep their table in the dining room. Yes, it's fancier than ours, but ours is still brand new and I was proud of it.
We'll see.
I get to drive into the city today and drop off my truck for a day or two. It needs it's check up and winterization. I'll drive back with Jade on his way home from work. I'll chafe at the lack of freedom, but at the same time it'll be a relief to not have to drive into town or the city for something. I tell ya, when those storage shelves go up, we're gonna shop once a month on groceries and save immediate items (like milk and fruit and other perishables) for weekly trips. Maybe even bi-monthly trips. We live in the country now dammit! These people are going to learn how to STOCK UP!!
So there!
Mwahahahaha!
Okay, Power mentally asserted. Now I'm off to watch what I want to see on TV!
Sweet Dreams!
As I washed my hereditary crystal dishware, I waited for Dona to come up and ask why I was handwashing them instead of using the dishwasher. Working out an answer in my head ahead of time (she's always asking me 'why' I'm doing something), it surprised me that my immediate response was not 'Because it's full.' In fact, that was an afterthought. What shocked me more was my first impulse for response.
"My mother always handled items she cherished with especial care. Perhaps she went overboard on certain things, but it was how she showed she cared. It's one of the few things that I admire about her."
Okay ... I just admited that I admired somethig about ... my mother!!!!
Is the world coming to an end? Or am I just (gasp) maturing? *swoon*
Actually, it occurred to me that thoughts like this are generally made after somebody has passed on. In a way, the woman I admire isn't quite the same woman anymore as Mom's personality has changed somewhat over the years. (There's nothing like scrimping on welfare to teach a person the value of things!!) But that's not the point though. The point is that I'm actually glad that I realised this BEFORE she leaves for the next stage of her life cycle. I still have an opportunity to tell her ... and instead of hoping she's listening, I can say it straight to her.
I'll probably say it over e-mail though, because I'd never get this all out without a lot of booze ... and I don't drink! LOL!
Well, there's still mushy cards ...
We'll see.
So! I finally got the box that was in the dining room emptied. No more tripping over it, moving it to get behind it, nothing. All I have to do now is get to all the boxes that are still in the garage. Still waiting on a few things before I can finalise my own move though. Like geting that bed out of the spare, and getting storage shelves in the garage so that we have a place for items we rarely use or don't need in the house. Or things that we now have doubles/triples of. :(
It's good to get more of my things out. It kind of hides the things that are theirs. I'm still iffy about whether or not I want to keep their table in the dining room. Yes, it's fancier than ours, but ours is still brand new and I was proud of it.
We'll see.
I get to drive into the city today and drop off my truck for a day or two. It needs it's check up and winterization. I'll drive back with Jade on his way home from work. I'll chafe at the lack of freedom, but at the same time it'll be a relief to not have to drive into town or the city for something. I tell ya, when those storage shelves go up, we're gonna shop once a month on groceries and save immediate items (like milk and fruit and other perishables) for weekly trips. Maybe even bi-monthly trips. We live in the country now dammit! These people are going to learn how to STOCK UP!!
So there!
Mwahahahaha!
Okay, Power mentally asserted. Now I'm off to watch what I want to see on TV!
Sweet Dreams!
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