November 17, 2009 - 17:33
Last night is fantastic. It started with my bath, oddly enough. And lasted the rest of the evening. I was simply filled with the most wonderful energy, and feelings of completeness. But not sated ... no, but the sexual tension came a bit later. The power kept going off last night too. The first time, I barely noticed as I had candles lit, but later, as I settled to read a bit, it went off again. Quickly. I took this as a hint and went to bed ... but wasn't sleepy, so I prepared to read in bed. A little later and the lights flickered again. I kept reading. finally the lights just went out. I laughed and settled to sleep. I was still full of energy though, and anything but sleepy, but I made myself relax and I eventually dozed off.
I dreamed of Jade. An unusual occurrance in itself ... I was in Walmart (I think) and he came into the dream angry, and I feared him. I dashed through aisles to dodge and hide and realised that I was wearing only a bath towel (I think I'd had a bath, earlier in the dream.) I saw the cashiers/exit across a huge empty space and made a dash for them. When I got there, I laid down items (no line up - it MUST have been a dream!) for purchase that I hadn't even realised that I was carrying. As I did so, I realised that the towel had loosened and was in danger of slipping and I could only pin it to myself with an arm tucked just under my breasts. At this point, Jade came up behind me and settled casually by my side. He gave me that smile that I love so well, asked if I was okay, and then gave me a wink I haven't seen in a long time ... and said he'd meet me at home. There was love and sincerety in every movement, and expression ... especially in his eyes. (I think that's why I always look ay a person's eyes - there is always truth to be had in the eyes.) I was filled with longing and expectation all at once. Yet, just moments ago, I had feared him. He kissed my forehead and walked away.
Then I woke up ... But I don't know what to think about that, at all. Evil twin? Split personality? Inner struggle, at least, but whose? His or mine? Was it actually me he was chasing? Was it really him that I was running from?
Rain slacked off today. It remained grey, and cloudy, for the most part, but we had some sun and blue patches this morning. Got a ride this afternoon to the Centre and did my parents' banking, and a bit of shopping. Neighbour who drove me was pleasant and very helpful, even suggesting a place where I may try to obtain employment. A winery. I never would have thought of that, myself, as I rarely drink. I am a Barq's-aholic, true, but I wont get drunk off of it ... fat, maybe ...
I have to go take the ferry to the bank on Monday, so that I can arrange to have my money released to me. The neighbours have to go to a function, so they can drop me off, but they won't be able to drive me back. I suppose that's okay ... I do know of a bus that goes near the bank that will take me back to the ferry ... let's just hope that the schedules work together, aye?
I need vehicle. If I had one, I wouldn't be limited to the island for work. I could go off and find something that would sustain me, the house, and the commute. Maybe. Many others here do it ... I haven't given up on finding a job here though. Especially since I don't have a car ... :) Luck could change though. Mom mentioned possibly signing theirs over to me ... if they couldn't get a good trade deal for it. that would be fortune indeed ... but also another worry. Not that I 'm going to look a gift horse in the mouth ...
Right now, even a horse would be grand.
I wonder how much they'd charge me on the ferry?
Sweet Dreams
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